


Fallin' Flower

by mingucciboy



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dancer Lee Minho | Lee Know, Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know are Best Friends, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, References to Depression, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:01:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 47,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23572030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mingucciboy/pseuds/mingucciboy
Summary: As Minho watched the sweet boy walk away from the car, towards his class, this was the memory running through his head.Why here, where he had come to run away from everything. So why was there a reminder of his past, his secret, his fear. His mouth was dry. It wasn't until his saw the soft smile that he had fallen for that night did he realize why that boy seemed to invade his mind. Why he couldn't figure him out.OrMinho is panic gay and Jisung is oblivious gay.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 63
Kudos: 152





	1. A Familiar Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on twitter! @/mingucciboi :3

Jisung didnt sleep well. He never did these days. Even before he drifted off he was trying his best not to given in to the heaviness behind his eyes. He decided instead to work on his midterm project. Even after editing whatever he could without changing the actual song, he still didnt want to sleep. 

No. If he slept, that meant nightmares. 

He just brewed himself another cup of coffee and scrolled through his phone. It was there that he felt his eyes closing against his will. He kept having to remind himself to keep his eyes open. But he forgot one time, and that's all it took. 

His mind became empty, but not for long.

It started like it always does. He was in an empty blue room. He was sitting on a chair, nothing restraining him, but he couldn't move even if he tried. He didnt try anymore, he knew the outcome.

There was a single door in this blue room. Jisung knew what was going to happen so he kept his eyes on that single, blue door until he heard it. 

Bang!

A dull thud on the other side of the door. The walls seemed to get a little bit smaller. Anyone else wouldn't notice but Jisung knew this room like the back of his hand.

Bang! Bang!

More noise from the door. Jisung's heart rate started to pick up now. He knew what was coming but every time, he still reacted the same way. With every hit the room started to shrink. 

The door was getting closer.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The thing behind the door was relentless, starting to scratch as well as pound against the door now. Jisung tried his best to get out of the chair, but his limbs seemed to be frozen. His breathing started getting erratic. 

The walls were now only a metre from him on every side. He felt the vibrations of the thing behind the door. The door was shaking. Jisung couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe.

Then, everything stopped. The door was less than a metre in front of him. He held his breathe as he tried to sort out what was happening. He heard whatever was behind the door shuffle around a bit before suddenly, there was final bang, and the door burst open right in front of him.

He woke up with a start, sitting up. He was covered in a layer of sweat which was starting to cool with the stagnant air in his room. He was panting hard trying to breathe again. 

"It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream." He repeated like a mantra.

He placed a hand on his heart, feeling his pulse. He used that to ground him and bring him out of his panic. It was when he started to come back to reality he noticed the tear that had slipped down his face. 

It's been a while since he cried because of that dream, he thought as he wiped it away. He flopped back into his bed and took one last deep breath to clear his head. He felt around for his phone for a second before turning it on, the light blinding him. 

8:45. 

He layed on his back staring up at the ceiling. He really should get up. Every second in bed is another second wasted. And every second thinking about it is yet another second wasted. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Why does his brain lag so much in the morning? He put on his slippers and went to the bathroom, feet dragging with every step. He looked in the mirror and noticed how tired he looked, he really needed to catch up on sleep. He started brushing his teeth and went to check his phone.

8:52

He blinked. And then, it set in. He was late.

God, hes such an idiot! He thought as he frantically rushed to get changed and get the stuff he need for his classes today. He thought it had been quarter to 8, he must've misread the time, fuck. He rushed out the door and checked his phone as he walked. 

8:56

Fuck it, he has to run or he's gonna miss the bus. He almost started running, when a car pulled up next to him. 

"Hey loser, need a ride?"said a familiar voice, as the window rolled down and he spotted the owner of the voice.

Jisung thanked the universe for this one today.

"Oh my god, Hyunjin, you are a life saver." Jising said gratefully. He started walking to the passenger seat but stopped when he heard,

"Oh sorry dude, my projects in the front seat. You can sit in the back with Minho"

"Oh that's fine, dont worry." Jisung replied as he went to open the door. Who's Minho? His question was answered when he got into the car. 

Minho was in fact, one of the most beautiful people Jisung had ever seen in front of him. With his dark hair, cat like face and leather jacket, the boy looked like the bad boy type that Jisung was always so quick to fall for. Jisung faltered in his steps when they made eye contact. Maybe it was his sleep deprived state, or maybe it was the fact that he hadn't gotten any action in a month, but those few seconds of eye contact made Jisung's mind go fuzzy and his heart speed up. 

For some reason Minho looked... familiar?

"Uh, Sungie? Are you gonna get in?"

Jisung snapped out of his trance and got into the car without a hint of grace. 

"Y-yeah sorry."

He stared at his feet. His bag sitting on his legs. The stranger, Minho, didnt say anything about the awkward moment they shared. The tension seemed to hang in the air, thick. Jisung couldn't help but glance at him again, the temptation of a pretty face too enticing. He was caught off guard when he met eyes with the older again. Even thought Minho was staring first he felt he was caught doing something wrong. Jisung immediately tried to play it cool and looked away as if he wasn't just staring like a creep. He could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and he cursed his bodys quick reaction. 

"So uh, this is my friend Minho. He's transferring to our campus today." Hyunjin said, cutting through the air, seeming to sense the awkwardness though, to him, he didnt know why. 

"Hes a dance major, so, that's cool" he continued, trying to make conversation.

He carried on talking, about nothing in particular. Just filling the space between destinations. Jisung however, wasn't listening. He was too caught up in his mind. When his brain had started day dreaming? He didnt know. But somewhere between Hyunjin talking about his dog and his upcoming dance competition, Jisung had gotten lost in his own fantasies. 

The touch of a hand on his cheek. Gentle breath ghosting his ear. Strong arms around his waist. Again something was familiar. It was like he was remembering a dream or something, but, he only had one dream. And Minho definitely wasn't in it.

A shiver ran down his spine and Jisung shook his head, as if physically shaking the thoughts out. He had literally just met the man, not even spoken a word, and yet he couldn't stop thinking about him. Wow, that settles it. He needs to get laid soon, or hes gonna crack.

His gaze focused out the window, looking anywhere but the direction of a certain pretty boy. He realized they were getting close to his side of the campus. There was still a bit of distance but he couldn't stand the feeling in the car right now. 

"Hey, you can just drop me off here" he said, cutting Hyunjin off in the middle of a story about how his dog, Kkami, got a new collar. 

"You sure? I can drive you the rest of the way if you want?" Hyunjin offered. 

"Nah, it's okay, I need to get more fresh air anyway"Jisung said with a smile plastered on automatically. 

Hyunjin slowed the car to a stop and Jisung gathered his bag in his arms and opened the door. He got out and before closing the door he looked at Minho for the third time that car ride. 

"It was, uh, nice to meet you, Minho" he said hesitantly.

Minho didnt reply for a second. He just looked at the other boy, as if looking through him. Trying to figure him out. In a quiet voice, as if disbelieving, he muttered.

"Likewise."

Jisung didnt know why the other was looking at him so intently but the attention was making him flustered again, so he shut the door to save face. He leaned into the drivers side open window slightly to say his goodbyes. 

"Thanks again for the lift hyung, you really saved my ass." He said with a small chuckle.

"No problem Sungie" Hyunjin replied with a noticeably bright smile.

Jisung nodded his head once and straightened up to head on his way. He was stopped though, by a concerned voice. 

"Jisung." Hyunjin voiced from his seat. His face was a lot softer than it was two seconds ago. "Are you feeling okay? You seem a bit off."

Jisungs eyebrows involuntary raised, ever so slightly. He felt eyes on him and glanced to the source of them. Minho was staring, again, with that look. The look that pierced through him. It put the younger on edge for some reason. He brought his eyes back to Hyunjin after a split second that seemed like eternity. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, dont worry. I just didnt sleep that well last night." Jisung said with a soft smile. 

Hyunjin pursed his lips slightly. "Ah Jisungie, you should stay off your phone before bed." 

Jisung couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. He missed his friends nagging him like mothers, he hasn't had the chance to take a break from his work. He made a mental note to arrange a day for them soon. 

"Okay hyung I promise I wont" he said with his first genuine smile today.

Hyunjins smile reached his eyes and he gently pushed Jisung.

"Now go on, you're going to be late for class!"

⚖

A cold night. A soft smile. A fuzzy mind. That's all it took to get the courage he needed to press his lips against the others. An experiment. The roll of a dice, to see if his suspicions were right. 

Immediately he felt a spark. He felt his skin ignite wherever he felt the others hands trailing on him. This had never happened before. He didnt want to think about what that meant. So he didnt think. Instead he wrapped his arms around the small waist in front of him and pressed their bodies closer. He would definitely regret this, but it's not like anyone would know, he hadn't even told him his name. 

He knows what he needs to know now, and he doesn't have to deal with it until he wants to. 

As Minho watched the sweet boy walk away from the car, towards his class, this was the memory running through his head. 

Why here, where he had come to run away from everything. So why was there a reminder of his past, his secret, his fear. His mouth was dry. It wasn't until his saw the soft smile that he had fallen for that night did he realize why that boy seemed to invade his mind. Why he couldn't figure him out. 

The more he thought about it the more his head hurt. So he stopped. He decided he needed to de-stress. As Hyunjin started to go on about Jisung, Minho took a small packet and a lighter out of his jacket. 

"Do you mind?" He asked bluntly.

Hyunjins smile faltered as he looked in the mirror to what Minho was referring to. He looked back out to the road and blinked a few times.

"No, sure go ahead." He said, deflated. 

Minho didnt waste anytime and started flicking the lighter, waiting for sparks to ignite his bad habit.

Hyunjin sighed and then asked, "Why do you even smoke those? You know what they do to you right?"

Minho pressed his lips to the cigarette held between his fingers. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep, letting the fumes hit the deepest parts of his lungs. Feeling the nicotine rush into his bloodstream. He held his breath for a moment before letting it out, his tension washing away.

"Jeez Jinnie, you sound like my mother."

Hyunjin narrowed his eyes at that.

"Well maybe you should listen to her then. It's not good for you hyung." 

"Listen, I cant really stop at this point in time. I appreciate that you care, but theres no point in trying to convince me otherwise." He said, having had this conversation a million times over. 

"Hmph. Fine." Hyunjin scoffed. They drove for a few minutes in comfortable silence as Minho let the nicotine wash through him. Hyunjin parked the car in his spot and unbuckled before walking over to the passenger side.

"At least help me carry my project if you're gonna do me the misfortune of giving me second hand cancer." 

Minho rolled his eyes before getting out of the car. He took one last puff on his now short cigarette before flicking it to the ground and putting it out under his shoe. He picked up the put out cigarette before putting it in his pocket. Just because hes okay with poisoning himself doesn't mean he's okay with poisoning the Earth. Dont litter kids.

He stretched his arms over his head with a groan.

"You know, sometimes you really remind me of a cat." 

"Yep, heard it before." Minho muttered before picking up the flat cardboard that his friends architect project was built upon. 

"Hey be careful with that, 3 precious weeks that I will never get back went into that!" Hyunjin said in a worried tone. 

"Yeah yeah I got it, dont worry" Minho said back defensively as the taller locked the car.

They started toward the architect building to drop it off before Hyunjin was supposed to give him a tour of the campus.

"So what did you think of Jisung?"

Minho hesitated in his answer as he balanced the project in his arms. 

"Hes uh, nice."

Hyunjin didnt really have anything to say to that. They walked in silence a bit longer before Hyunjins phone rang. He saw the caller ID and immediately picked it up.

"Hey Innie~ how a-"

Hyunjin apparently got cut off as the look on his face fell to a concered one as he listened to the other end of the line. 

"Are you sure? Where are you now?" He said with furrowed brows. 

"Mhm. Okay I'm on my way." He said as they had come to a stop in their walk. Minho still looking on with curiosity. As Hyunjin hung up and put his phone back into his pocket he turned to his very confused friend. 

"Hyung I'm so sorry but I really have to go. Something important came up."he said apologetically, "Do you think you could put my project in the architect building" he pointed to the direction of two buildings quickly. And before Minho could ask which one he got cut off by a frantic goodbye and his friend running to the opposite direction. It must've been important. 

He was standing in the middle of the square and he didnt really know what to do. He decided he could only do what he could at that moment, so he started walking towards the two buildings. As the buildings started looming over him, he realized that he didnt know which one the architect building was. Maybe they both were? He though hopefully. 

He ended up just stepping into the closest one. The hallways were big and empty. He walked past many closed door until he heard it. 

It was a voice. An angelic voice. 

He followed the sound, he had to, it was calling to him. As the singing became clearer, he saw it was coming from a slightly open door at the end of the hallway. He peeked in and saw the source of the voice. 

Jisung. 

Minho watched him closely, entranced. His eyes were closed in concentration. It looked like he was practicing something. He stopped after a particular high note, shaking his head in frustration. 

"No that wont work, I cant hit that note right." He said to himself.

"I thought it was nice." Minho said quietly without realizing. 

Jisung sharply turned to him, unaware that he had a spectator. 

"Oh my god! You scared the shit out of me!" He said exasperated. 

Minho thought it was endearing that the younger got scared easily. He almost smiled when he realized these are the feelings he shouldn't be feeling right now. He couldn't risk getting close to anyone.

Especially not Jisung.

He hardened his expression and his heart. 

"Do you know where the architect building is." He asked bluntly, no hint of friendliness. He didnt want Jisung to think the option for friendship was there. 

Jisung blinked a few times before the question set in.

"U-uh yeah, its next door." He said pointing to the direction. His heart was still racing from not only the scare but the fact that someone had heard him singing.

Minho didnt say anything and just turned around with Hyunjins precious project in his arms. He was cut off on his escape though.

"Wait did you... did you really think it was a good note?" Jisung asked meekly. He thought it was horrendous but maybe he was being too critical again. And Minho had already heard it he might as well ask.

Minho hesitated, he desperately wanted to ignore the question. To make it clear he didnt want to have any type of relationship with the younger. But the tone of his voice made him pause. The smallness of it tugged on his heart. 

"Yes." He decided on saying. Not too risky, not humiliating either. Neutral. How he liked it. 

He continued walking towards the entrance as Jisung watched his back from the practice room at the end of the hall. 

Next time he had to remember to close the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope u guys like it so far :) the chapters are a bit longer than my previous markhyuk fic so that's fun :)


	2. A Memory

"Hey Innie~ how a-"

"Hyung I really need your help. Its Chan." Jeongin cut him off from the other side of the phone. He was trying to hold it together but Hyunjin could hear the worry in his voice. "He's gotten bad again."

Hyunjin's heart dropped. He didnt know what to do. He remembered he was supposed to give Minho a tour of campus. He could only do what he was able to at the moment. 

"Where are you now?" He tried to make sure his voice was stable. He didnt want Jeongin to worry anymore than necessary.

"A-at the dorm." 

"Okay I'm on my way" he said before hanging up the phone. 

He looked at his friend, how was he going to explain this. And he was still carrying his project. 

"Hyung I'm so sorry but I really have to go. Something important came up."he said apologetically, "Do you think you could put my project in the architect building" he pointed to the building in front of them.

He wanted to stay badly but he had to leave. He turned and started running towards the direction of the dorms. 

He felt like such a bad friend for leaving Minho like that, but Jeongin and Chan needed his help. He could have done more though, he could have brought him to the building himself. He shouldn't have left him like that. As all these thoughts started building up in his head he pushed himself to run faster. He couldn't let Jeongin handle Chan alone. 

He got to the dorm building and went inside the elevator. Ugh why are these things always so slow, he thought. Anything could be happening right now. Jeongin could be freaking out, Chan could be getting worse. All while he's stuck in an elevator not able to do anyth-

Ding!

Hes stepped out of the elevator and knocked quickly on his friends room number. 

Jeongin opened the door with a concerned look on his face. When he saw who it was he immediately let out a breathe he was holding in. Before he knew it the younger was wrapping his arms around him, hugging him tightly. His face buried in his chest.

"Thank you for coming hyung, I-I didnt know who to call" he said frantically. 

"Shh shh it's okay. I'm here now" Hyunjin said, gently running his hand through the strawberry blonde hair, in an effort to calm the younger down. 

He waited until Jeongin relaxed enough to let him go and he gently squeezed to other shoulder.

"Okay, where's Chan?" He said with a heavy breath. 

"His room" Jeongin said quietly, motioning towards it. 

Hyunjin stepped inside the bedroom and noticed how messy it was, clothes thrown everywhere, rubbish and wrappers on every surface. The rest of the space on his desk was taken up by empty instant noodle cups, who knows how old. Even the bed Chan was sitting on, half of it was covered with stuff. 

Chan had his head resting on his knees which were pulled up to his chest. His eyes were open but his gaze was unfocused, as if in his own world. Tear tracks were dry, marking his cheeks. 

"Jeongin I told you, I dont want to talk to anyone." He muttered, not looking up. 

"Well you dont really have a choice hyung."

Chan looked up at the unexpected voice. His eyes widened in surprise. There was a mix of so many emotions on his face. 

"Hyunjin, I didnt know... why are you here?" He said narrowing his eyes. 

Hyunjin looked around the room. Debating the best way to go about this. 

"Innie was worried." he said simply as he closed the door. He made his way over to the messy bed and sat were there was space, next to Chan. 

"I told him it was okay. He didn't need to make a big deal about it." He said with a sigh, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. 

"Hey. Dont try blame him for worrying about you." Hyunjin said sternly. 

"I wasnt-" Chan started to say, but he cut himself off when he realized he couldn't make an excuse. 

"I just... didnt want anyone to have to worry about me." He said quietly, not looking at anything in particular. 

Hyunjin pursed his lips slightly, looking at his hyung. He could see Chan start blinking fast, he knew he was gonna start crying, he also knew the blonde didn't like people seeing him cry. Hyunjin patted his lap and looked at Chan expectantly. The older didnt hesitate to lay his head on the others thighs. 

Hyunjin carded his finger through the others fried hair. He felt the blondes shoulders shake as he started crying silently. 

"Please let us... Let me worry about you hyung." Hyunjin said softly. "You deserve care, you know? We're here for you to lean on. You can't deal with everything yourself." 

Chan just sniffed and started fidgeting with the rips in Hyunjins jeans. Hyunjin wasn't expecting him to say anything so he continued. 

"So, can you try tell me what you need right now?" He offered. 

The blond didnt say anything for a few seconds, thinking. 

"Can you... stay here for a while?" He asked softly. 

Hyunjin thought about Minho. Maybe he could figure something out. 

"I will, on one condition. You take a shower. You stink" he said, his finger still gently running through the blond locks. 

Chan just snorted at that and pushed Hyunjins hand away. 

"Fine shut up." He said with a small smile. 

⚖

Minho had found the right classroom, in the right building this time. He had placed his friends project down gently on a desk. He let out a breath he had been unintentionally holding. He looked around the empty room and felt so lost. Here he was, in a new city, with almost no one he knew. He was trying to escape his old life but in some sick coincidence the biggest reminder of it managed to know his only friend here. 

The ring of his phone snapped him out of his thoughts. He saw it was Hyunjin calling and he answered it immediately.

"Hey hyung I'm so sorry I left. I had to take care of something" was the first thing Hyunjin had said. Minho could hear the tiredness of his voice, he was concerned as to what kind of situation his friend had found himself in. 

"Yeah dont worry I get it." He said flatly, fidgeting with loose wood chips around the desk. Pacing around the empty room simply because he had too much nervous energy to keep still.

"Listen do you want to join me and my friends for pizza? I can text you the directions." Hyunjin offered.

Minho stopped pacing. More people? Well I suppose it was time he made some new friends in this place. 

"Yeah sure." He said after a moment. 

"Okay cool!" He didnt need to see the smile on Hyunjins face, he heard it. "Oh wait!" Minho stopped on his way to walk out of the classroom. 

"Are you in the architect building?"

Minho narrowed his eyes, regardless of the fact that his friend could see him.

"Yeaaaah?" He said suspicious of Hyunjins plans.

"Can you ask Jisung if he wants to come? He's in the music building. It's right next to the architect building."

Minho swallowed. He really didnt want to have to talk with the orange-blonde boy more than necessary. But he felt it wasn't really a question. 

"Yeap, got it." He said dryly. 

"Cool thanks! Just tell him we're at Chan and Jeongins dorm." Hyunjin said oblivious to the discomfort written all over his friends face. 

Minho heard the beep signalling his friend had hung up on him. He put his phone in his pockets and pushed the door to leave the building. As he was walking to the other building he prepared what he would say. How could he phrase it where it's clear he's not interested in anything. Judging by the youngers lack of a reaction this morning he probably doesn't remember what had happened between them that summer night. 

That was a good thing. He hoped it would stay that way. 

Without realizing it he had stopped in front of the now closed door of the practice room. Minho wiped his palms on his jeans. Why was he nervous about this. He shouldn't be. He needs to put up a wall. 

He heard a faint voice behind the door. He knocked and it quieted down. He heard some shuffling before the door cracked open slowly. As Jisung realized who was interrupting his practice his eyes widen in panic. 

"Do you want to eat?" Minho said bluntly. Jisungs brows furrowed in confusion. Minho realized what he said and quickly cleared his throat and tried again.

"I mean- Hyunjin. He said to eat at Jeongin's and uh, he said to get you because you know where it is. I mean no- he also does want you there. He wants you there and for me to follow you there." Minho said, the words tumbling out of his mouth. Good job on playing it cool, he thought to himself. 

Jisung just looked at him for a second with the same confused expression before speaking.

"Okay, uh, sure." he said before opening the door fully and going back inside the room, starting to unplug his laptop. 

Minho finally got a chance to take in the room and he noticed a lot of wires everywhere, two empty cups of coffee, a bag which he assumed was Jisungs.

"Sorry one sec, I just need to tidy up first." Jisung said leaning over the desk to reach a plug. At that second Minho looked over at him. He saw the angle that Jisung was bent over the desk and immediately looked away, a slight pink tint creeping into his cheeks. 

He cleared his throat awkwardly. 

"Uh yeah no problem" he stated looking anywhere but the younger boy. 

A few minutes later Jisung finally tidied up the wires and they left the room. As they were walking down the hall, the orange-blond decided to start the conversation. 

"So where are you from?" Jisung asked. 

"Gimpo-si" Minho replied flatly. He wasn't one to make conversation with strangers. And as far as Jisung knew, they were still strangers. 

"Oh cool! My grandma is from there! I used to go there every summer." Jisung replied oblivious to Minhos jump in heart rate. They left the building and the cool air did little to calm Minhos nerves, but it helped nonetheless. 

"Oh, what a coincidence" he tried to say nonchalantly. 

"Jeongins isn't too far away." Jisung said motioning to the direction of a tall apartment complex. 

They didnt really say anything for a portion of the walk. Minho taking in the new surroundings, trying his best to distract himself from the fear that the more time he spent with Jisung, the more he would remember. 

Jisung however was wondering if he had said something wrong already? Minho seemed to be really cold towards him, he didnt know why though. Maybe that was just how he was. Maybe he was just a defensive person.

Jisung looked at the dark haired boy and again, he couldn't shake the feeling that he knew the familiar stranger. 

"Are you sure we havent met before?" Jisung asked as they reached the apartment building.

"Yeah, I dont think we have." Minho said looking straight in front of him, brushing it off, as they got into the elevator.

Jisung wasn't satisfied yet. There was something seriously familiar about this new person. It kept nagging him.

"Hmm, are you sure you're sure though? I mean I swear I've seen you somehwere" Jisung insisted. 

The questioning began to make Minho nervous, as much as he didnt want to admit. His palms started getting sweaty and his mouth was dry.

"Yes, I'm pretty sure." He said sternly.

They got out of the elevator and Jisung went to knock on his friends door

Jisung saw Minhos younger flick out to wet his lips and suddenly memories flashed behind his eyes.

-  
The golden rays of the sunset were casting a warm glow on the pair of lips in front of him. A tounge flicked out to wet those lips. All he could focus on where those lips. Everything else was a blur.

"Can I try something?"

He just nodded as a reply, ready to give anything to the man in front of him. Soft lips gently pressed against his own and his eyes slowly fluttered close. The owner of those lips tasted like mint and cider. Maybe that was him. He didnt know what was what anymore. Everything had melted together, all his senses one. 

His hands involuntarily wandered up his shoulders up to his neck. Holding on tight like he might slip away. In return two strong arms gripped his waist and pulled him closer. He could taste the desperation on his tounge. He never wanted to leave this moment. Everything felt right. 

And then, it crumbled. Suddenly the body in front of him stiffened and those warm lips left his own. He opened his eyes slowly, searching for the warmth again. The warmth in question was taking slow steps away from him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. He looked down at it as if I burned him. 

"I-I... I shouldn't- I'm sorry" is all that was said before he saw the dark haired boy turn and leave. 

He was left standing there. A bitter taste in his mouth, confused and cold.

The warmth had left. 

-

Jisung came back to the present and looked at the boy standing in front of him with newfound recognition. His hand moved towards his lips, as if the taste was still there.

"I remember" he whispered. 

Minhos breath hitched eyes flicking between the youngers gaze and lips. He opened his mouth to say something.

At that moment the door open in front of them.

"Hey guys! Glad you found you're way here" Hyunjin said, oblivious to the silent panic that had just taken a hold of both of his friends in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D hoped you liked this chapter :) sorry for the mini cliffhanger. Theres gonna be alot of those. I know I said I would upload every 4 days but I'm impatient so I'm changing it to every 2 days :) constructive criticism is always welcome!!!
> 
> Twt: @/mingucciboi


	3. A Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance

Things were a lot simpler when Minho was a year younger. 

He had friends, and though he couldn't tell them all of his thoughts he knew they would keep him company. That's all he needed from a person, company. He liked the distraction from his own thoughts. He never really liked being alone with his mind. It was too quiet there, too sinister, too many things he hadn't figured out. 

He also had partys, which were perfect opportunities to push down his problems and forget about them for a night. To feel the music around him, alcohol inside him and bodies against him. He didnt go to partys to flirt or hook up, hell he only kissed two people in his life, and he was already in his 2nd year of college. He just tried to push people away by being enough of a dick to not want to be with him, but not enough to actually hate him. It worked most of the time.

Then one day things weren't simple anymore.

He saw a boy. A pretty boy.

His heart started racing, his mind stopped working and his hands got sweaty. He had never felt like this about a girl before, let alone a guy. 

Then his world shifted. His head filled with the possibility that the reason he had never liked anyone, maybe it's because he was only looking at girls. The thought scared the shit out of him. No, no. He has to be normal right? 

The rest of the night was a blur mostly because of the fact that he wanted to drown out the thoughts of that pretty boy. Instead the alcohol drew him closer.

Soft lips, small waist, sad eyes. 

-

Jisungs mind was reeling. Did he really kiss this stranger in front of him. And then, said stranger left him. But he had no time to process that because Minho had already gone inside the apartment and Hyunjin was calling his name. He shook his head and prepared to act like he was okay, he could do that.

He walked into the apartment and got attacked by a hug that knocked the wind out of him and put him off balance. 

"Oh hey there Innie, I missed you too." He said, straining to breathe with the tightness of the hug. 

"Hyung I missed you" Jeongin said with big puppy dog eyes and a pout. From the sofa Jisung heard the familiar voice of Seungmin.

"I think he missed you." he said sarcastically. 

Jisung rolled his eyes at his comment and slid off his shoes while Jeongin finally let go of him. The youngest grabbed his hand and all but dragged him over to the couch. 

"Come sit, eat." He said. It wasn't a question. As Jisung fell back towards the softness of the sofa Jeongin gestured to the multiple pizza boxes in front of him. Jisung chuckled and put his hands up in a truce gesture. 

"Fine, fine." He picked up a piece of pepperoni and started eating.

"Jeez sometimes I swear youre the hyung Innie." Seungmin said before he started eating his own piece of pizza. He almost choked by an elbow sharply jabbing into his side.

"Dont forget who's older." Jisung said sternly, mouth half full. Seungmin just rolled his eyes as a response. Chan and a familiar pink haired boy walked into the room with multiple boxes of beer. 

"Hey! If it isn't the Australian bros!" Jisung exclaimed before getting up to wrap them both in a tight hug. 

"While I'm glad to see you too Sungie, can you let us put these down, they're heavy" Felix said straining against both the weight of the beer and the strength of the hug. 

Jisung let go and let them place the boxes down. He then hugged them individually. He smelled Felix's familiar coconut scented shampoo and ruffled his hair. He then turned to Chan and while the older open his arms for a hug he was surprised by two hands cupping his face. Jisung leaned in and kissed his friend on the forehead gently, standing on his tippy toes. 

"How are you doing hyung?" He asked concerned. They've all noticed the change in Chan these days.

"Hey I didnt get a kiss." Felix pouted. 

"Be glad you even got a hug." Seungmin said feigning bitterness.

Jisung turned around with narrowed eyes. "If you offered a hug in the first place you wouldnt be sulking." 

"I'm not sulking." Seungmin said quietly with a slight pout. 

Their conversation was interrupted though, when Hyunjin came into the room dragging Minho by the hand. The sight of their hands connected like that made Jisung uncomfortable, he didnt know why. He tried to ignore the feeling though, before it brought down his whole mood. 

"This is my friend Minho" Hyunjin said with a bright smile. "Some of you have already met him." He nodded to Jisung. 

The boy in question looked at the familiar stranger in front of him. Not knowing how to act right now. Minho didnt say anything either, didnt even react to the awkward eye contact between them. It felt like looking at a frozen lake. The ice, too cloudy to see what's underneath. All you see is a cold exterior, no clues to what's underneath.

"He recently moved here, and hes a dance major, just like you Felix" Hyunjin said enthusiastically. "I'd really like it if you made him feel welcome." He finished. 

Minho didnt know where to sit until someone spoke up. 

"Come sit here!" Jeongin said from the armrest of the sofa. He patted the empty space next to him, on sofa. Next to Jisung as well. 

Please dont accept it. Please dont accept it. Please dont-

"Sure thanks" Minho said with a soft smile. 

It was the first time Jisung had seen the man smile and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It was as if the sun was reflecting on the frozen lake, not necessarily melting it. But warming it. 

Jisungs train of thought immediately stopped working when he felt the couch dip beside him and warmth spread across his outer thigh as they connected with the black haired man. His brain stopped working, he suddenly felt too warm. Everyone was talking, all the sounds were melting into a buzz. 

He stood up quickly, his body reacting on instinct. All eyes turned to him, questioning. He felt a certain stare fall on him and he realized he had to offer an explanation for his sudden movement. 

"Wh-wheres Changbin?" he asked the group. 

"Um, he's at work, he said he'll join us later." Jeongin said in a confused tone.

"Heh, oh cool" Jisung said as his hand gripped the back of his neck, which was starting to heat up. "I'm uh, gonna get some of this pizza." He stated pointing to the pizza on the other side of the table. Away from the couch. 

Everybody slowly started getting back into their previous conversations, slowly forgetting the odd moment that had happened. All but one, Jising felt the familiar stare but decided to ignore it. 

He sat next to Hyunjin and Chan, who were laughing about something Jisung didnt need to know. They decide to open their beer then and as Jisung tasted the bitter drink he hoped it would affect him soon. He needed to take some edge off. 

Soon time passed without them realizing, one beer turned into 5. And soon it was hours later, Jisung felt the time, sleep deprivation and alcohol start to take affect. He felt his eyelids getting heavy. 

"Mm Jinnie I'm getting sleepy." He muttered to his friend who was listening intently to the story Seungmin was telling. Hyunjin didnt reply he just patted his legs. Jisung understood and layed his head down on his friends thighs. 

As Hyunjin ran his fingers through Jisungs orange-blonde hair he asked.

"Why are you so sleepy? It's only 3pm."

"Mm I told you, I didnt sleep well this morning. And this is my fifth can" Jisung mumbled as he weakly held up the almost empty can. 

"Tsk tsk tsk." Hyunjin took the can from him and continued patting his head gently.

"Have a nap then Sungie." He said gently.

Jisung felt content, his stomach was full, his mind was empty and he had his friends around him. Times like this he keep memories of, for when he gets worse. He thinks back on these moments and it grounds him to this reality. His mom always said he had trouble staying on the planet, head always in the clouds. 

An uncomfortable feeling settled over him, disrupting him in his pleasant thoughts. The feeling of being watched. He slowly cracked open his eyes to look directly across him to the pair of eyes attached to him. That was it, he came here to have a nice time with his friends. Why was this stranger messing up his time.

"What are you looking at" he said a bit too loudly, and too coldly than he meant it to come out. 

The conversation around them once again came to a stop around them. Once again, because of Jisung. He didnt care at this point. The hand in his hair stilled. 

"What do think I'm looking at." Minho replied, just as coldly.

"Listen if your gonna be a dick to me, be a dick. Just stop staring at me."

⚖

This was the worst situation Minho could be in right now, he was aware of that. But part of him either was too drunk to care, or simply just didnt. He did care about Jisungs choice of words. He didnt want people to think he... wasn't normal. 

"I'm not trying to be a dick." he said, judging it as the safest option.

Jisung sat up at that statement.

"Oh really? Because you've been an ass to me since you met me. Which was only this morning, if you forgot." Jisung spat, his heart rate definitely elevating. 

"Sungie, calm down." Hyunjin said with a forced smile, trying to settle the situation.

"No, I wont. You cant just treat me like shit because you're scared of your own problems." He said, regretting the words right after he said them. 

Minho stood up quickly at that, his stare deadly. His heart was in his throat. He had to go about this carefully. He couldn't risk Jisung spilling his secret. No one could know.

"Dont." He said in a low voice. 

Jisung narrowed his eyes at him before standing up as well. 

"Or what." He said boldly. 

The entire room was silent, slowly watching this drama fold out. The atmosphere was suffocating.

"Hey guys! Did you miss me!" Changbin said as he burst through the door. His cheerful smile immediately dropping as he saw the scene in front of him.

"Did I interrupt something?" He asked slowly.

Chan stood up at this, having had enough. 

"Jisung. Go to the other room. Now" he said sternly. 

Jisung opened his mouth to argue before deciding better. He shot one last dirty look at Minho before turning around and leaving to a different room. The tension settled a bit in the air. 

"Minho, are you okay?" Hyunjin asked gently. "I'm sorry about Jisung, I dont know what gotten into him. He's not usually like this."

Minho sat back down and cleared his throat. He should've handled that better. He shouldn't have been so defensive, what if they find out. He could lose the only new friends he have. 

"Yeah I'm okay, dont worry" he said calmly. 

"Did something happen between you guys? It seemed like he knew something." Jeongin asked bluntly. 

"Jeongin shut it." Seungmin hissed sharply.

"No, nothing happened." Minho replied too fast. "I think I'm gonna head. I still need to finish unpacking." He said standing up.

"Will I give you a lift?" Hyunjin offered. 

"I'm good, I'll walk." He stated. 

He slipped on his shoes and turned to his new friends again. 

"Thank you for having me, I'm sorry I had to cut it short. I hope we can hang out again." He said mustering the best smile he could. That seemed to satisfy them, as they all said goodbye cheerfully, neglecting the heavy mood in the room. 

He walked passed the newcomer Changbin.

"And uh, nice to meet you." he offered.

"Um yeah." Changbin replied awkwardly. 

Minho turned and left the apartment. He decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator, he couldn't stay still right now. His mind couldn't stop spinning. He felt sick. Jisung was right, he was treating him badly, and he was staring at him the whole time. Because he couldn't deal with his own feelings. At the moment he didnt even know what those feelings were. He never dealt with this type of stuff until that summer night, a year ago. He never had to, until Jisung. Images distorted together in his mind until there was a mix of sad eyes, muddy boots, his own reflection, a drop of blood in a sink, a broken mirror. Everything came together until it was just Jisung looking at him with a look of hate and anger. The same look he left back in that apartment. A look he deserved.

Before he knew it he was at his dorm. He slipped off his shoes quickly, shed his jacket and stumbled to the bathroom. He couldn't breathe, why was all of the happening. It shouldn't be happening. He should be happy here, leaving his old life behind. But instead it just kept following him. Through memories, through an orange-blond haired boy. 

He stared at himself in the mirror, he felt and saw tears threatening to spill over. Maybe it was time to face facts. He wasn't normal. He wasn't okay. He was going to break if he kept pushing it down. It was like a shard of glass in his heart, and everytime he denied it, it dug in and twisted deeper. 

He took a few deep breaths, eyes never leaving his reflection. As he leaned over the sink, he felt the words on the tip of his tounge. The first tear spilled over.

"I.. am... gay" 

The words did little to relieve him. His tear turned into tears. They wouldnt stop. A dry sob escaped his throat without meaning to. His lip trembled as he took another breath, opening his eyes to look at himself once again.

"I'm... gay" he said a bit louder but still shaky. 

He felt sick in his stomach but he knew this was something that he needed to do since a year ago.

The weight of it all was just too much for him and felt his legs weaken. His body gave out under him and he fell into his knees on the cold ceramic tiles of his empty bathroom. He curled in on himself on the floor, letting the tears roll from his eyes. His sobs echoing in the small room. His clutched onto himself tightly, as if he was really going to fall apart.

It hurt, it hurt alot. But it was necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheheheh plz dont kill me I'm sorryyyy


	4. A Crack in the Dam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhh I've had bad writing block but I have a few chapters written out for this so I have like, two weeks to over come it.

Jisung sat on the bed as he waited. He was fidgeting the bed sheets, his heart rate still elevated. How come Minho got to treat him like shit and his friends still took his side. Okay, maybe that was an overstatement. But he was still mean to him, for no reason. Well, Jisung suspected there was a reason, and judging Minhos reaction when he had said the wrong thing, it might be true. 

He heard the front door close and he perked his head up, did Minho leave? Does that mean he can go back to the sitting room? He got up and walked to the door of the Jeongins bedroom. Just as he reached for the handle he got cut off by the door itself opening. He got startled and jumped back a bit. 

"Oh no, you're not leaving that easily." Chan said walking into the room. 

Jisung pouted slightly, shoulders  
deflating. 

"Sit." Chan nodded to the bed. Jisung complied and sat with one leg off the bed, one pulled up to chest. 

"Jisung. What happened back there?" The blonde asked gently.

"I dont know, I just... got angry I guess." Jisung said quietly, slight muffled by his knee.

Chan just sighed and walked across the room. Jisung felt the bed dip as the other sat down near him. 

"Was there a reason for that anger? Because it seemed like it came out of nowhere."

"I guess I just had too much beer or something." He said with a heavy breath. He paused. "Also... I didnt sleep well last night."

Chans face fell into a slight frown. 

"Sungie are you having nightmares again?"

Jisung just turned his head slightly. Not answering.

"Jisung, you should have told us. We could have helped." Chan offered gently.

"You're one to talk." The orange-blonde said with a scoff.

The older furrowed his brows slightly.

"We've all noticed you havent been yourself hyung." 

"This conversation isn't about me." Chan said in a tone that signalled the end of the subject.

"Jisung. This poor man has just moved here, he doesn't know the area, no friends. You need to be a bit more considerate." 

Jisung pursed his lips. He wanted to say how badly he was being treated, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized Minho had good reason to act that way. So he stopped thinking about it. If he started feeling sorry for Minho he would feel sympathetic. And if he felt sympathetic, he would start feeling things for him. The only reason he wasnt pining over the dark haired boy right now is because he gave him a reason to dislike him.

"Yeah I know, I think I was just tired. I'm sorry hyung." He said, not bothering to argue anymore.

Chan rubbed the youngers back gently.

"Its okay. Do you wanna go back to the others?"

"Yeah, let's go. I want more pizza"

⚖

Minho hadn't left his bed for two days. He hadn't showered, barely ate. Hadn't looked at his phone. He just slept or drank until he passed out. That was the only way he could feel nothing. He had run out of tears halfway through the first day. If he was awake and sober he started to feel sick. Sick about himself. He felt disgusting. He felt like if he stepped out of the house people would look through him and immediately know. He couldn't let any of his new friends know. They would drop him. At least that's what he was used to. 

Knock knock. 

Minho wasn't expecting anyone, judging by the state of his apartment and the smell of him. He just tried to ignore it. It was probably just someone at the wrong apartment. He turned over in his bed and pulled the duvet over his head, hoping the person would just leave. 

Another knock.

"Minho? It's me, Hyunjin."

Minho opened his eyes at that. He sat up in his bed looking at the door.

"You havent been answering your phone. Are you okay?"

Minho fell back on the bed and screwed his eyes shut. He crossed his fingers hoping Hyunjin would just give up. 

"I'm not gonna give up just because your not answering. You have no classes today."

Minho internally groaned. Why did he have to be friends with the most persistent person ever. 

"I have food." 

Minho opened his eyes and debated in his head. He hadn't had a proper meal in days, and the sooner they eat the sooner Hyunjim can leave and he can go back to shutting the world out.

He opened the door gingerly.

"And he's alive." Hyunjin said with a smile. He walked in to the apartment and immediately his face changed into a look of shock. 

"Dude, did you drink a whole bar?" He said waving his hand in front of his nose. "And when was the last time you showered?" He asked with narrowed eyes. 

Minho just dragged his duvet over to the coffee table and wrapped it around his as he sat down. 

Hyunjin cautiously placed the takeaway boxes down on the table and sat across from his friend. As he unpacked the food he started. 

"So what happened hyung? You kind of just disappeared from the face of the planet after the, uh, incident with Ji-"

"I dont really want to talk about it Jin." Minho cut him off as he took a box of noodles and broke his chopsticks apart.

Hyunjin paused in his unloading of the food. He could see something was bothering his friend but he didnt want to push. 

"Hows your mom? Last time I saw was a few months ago." Hyunjin said trying to change the subject.

"Shes fine." 

"Oh, that's good." Hyunjin said with a small smile. 

Minho really didnt want to talk. He was scared if he said anything Hyunjin would figure it out. He was on edge constantly. 

"So uh, nothing new has been happening recently." Hyunjin said desperately trying to fill the silence. "Well, Jeongin and Seungmin had a small fight the other day but, that's normal. Couple things I guess."

Minho froze. His blood went cold. 

"What?" He asked quietly.

Hyunjin just looked confused.

"Uh, Jeongin and Seungmin had a fight, but it's nothing to worry about, just an argument?"

"Th-theyre a couple? Like, together? Like a gay couple?" Minho said, the words falling out awkwardly.

It was Hyunjin turn to freeze this time.

"Minho, dont tell me you're homophobic?" He said, slight disappointment in his voice.

Minho didnt know what to think. His new friends, some were like him? And they were okay with it? They weren't disgusted by it.

"No-no its not- I'm not-" he said stuttering, trying to make sense of his brain. 

"I..." he trailed off, his breathing starting to get quicker. What was he supposed to say, regardless of Hyunjins stance on it, it was his first reaction to panic about accidently telling someone. 

"Minho?" Hyunjin said gently as something clicked inside his mind.

"Are you... gay?" He asked, slowly. 

Minho didnt say anything, he want to run, but there was no where to run to. He couldn't escape this situation. How could he admit it to his friend, he barely admitted it to himself. He wasnt ready for this. His body and mind were so tired from their mistreatment. His wall crumbled. He could feel the tears building up behind his eyes. 

"I..." he tried to say something, but the words got caught in his throat. 

Hyunjin got up from his side of the table. He could see the fear in his friends eyes. He had to do something. He knelt down in front of his friend and gently picked up his hands.

"Hey it's okay, talk to me." He said, his voice soft. 

I'm here for you, he tried to say with his eyes. 

Minhos lip trembled, he never had this kindness at home. If any of his other friends knew they would just cut him off, or worse. 

Hyunjin immediately pulled the older into his chest and poured his love into a hug. Minho didnt respond for a few moments, tears falling silently, wetting his friends shirt. Slowly his arms reacted and reached to wrap around the other. He gripped his shirt tightly and a broken sob escaped his throat. Meanwhile Hyunjin just whispered words of encouragement while gently rubbing circles on his friends back. That was all he could do for the moment.

They stayed like that for a while, Minho quietly weeping into Hyunjins shirt, Hyunjin in turn comforting him. After a while Minho quieted down into a few sniffs. 

"How long have you known? Hyunjin asked gently.

Minho took a shaky breathe before answering.

"A year." He replied, barely a whisper.

Hyunjin pulled the black haired boy gently from his embrace. He cupped his face softly.

"You know it's okay right? To like boys? It's not weird." He said, wiping the tears from his face with his thumbs. 

Minho just looked down, eyes sad and heavy.

"Then why do I feel so... dirty. I feel like I need to have ten thousand showers just the be clean of the thought." He said, his voice broken. 

Hyunjin just sighed sadly. One of his hands went to the others and he held it gently. 

"Why... are you being so nice?" Minho asked, looking at Hyunjin now. The coffee haired boy just wore a confused expression. "Arent you scared I'll hit on you or something." 

Hyunjins laughed out loud at this, his head falling back. Minho just stared, now he was the one who was confused. 

"Oh hyung," Hyunjin said once the laughter had subsided. "I'm bi." He said with a simple smile. 

Minhos brains faltered. One of his closest friends, was like him, and he didnt even know? 

"W-why didnt you ever tell me?" He asked gingerly. 

"To be honest I never really thought it was important." Hyunjin shrugged.

Minho thought for a moment, still trying to process this new found information. 

"But you were there... when everyone would make those jokes about..." 

Hyunjin sighed at that. He fiddled with his hair at the back of his head. He looked away, going through his memories of when he would stay with Minho on summer days.

"Well, I didnt really want to cause a scene or anything. I was pretty comfortable with myself at that point. I never realized that they could have affected someone else." He said with a realization. He looked at Minho apologetically. "Oh my god, I should've stopped them or something. I'm so sorry-"

"Jinnie, it wasnt your fault. Plus how could you have known." Minho said with a heavy heart. 

Hyunjin just nodded. A silence settled over the room. He looked af his friend, and then the food. 

"You really should eat more you know? When was the last time you have a proper meal?" He said disaprovingly. Minho rolled his eyes while reaching for his chopsticks. 

"There you go sounding like my mother again."

"Hm, your mother's right then. And so am I. Eat, you cretin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the pacing of this wasnt that great, but nevertheless its here.


	5. A Vending Machine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be mindful of the tags!!
> 
> TW// homophobic language.

Jeongin was a good son. That's all he ever wanted to be. A good son, a good friend, a good boyfriend. He wanted people to be happy with him. He didn't want to be burdensome. 

Which is why he apologised first. 

"Seungmin, I'm really sorry." 

He was standing in the doorway of his boyfriend's apartment. Seungmin didn't say anything. He just looked at the younger, arms crossed, leaning against the door frame, with an unreadable expression.

"I know I shouldn't have said those things." He said, desperately trying to fix things. He just wanted everything to go back to normal.

"I-" his pleas were cut off by Seungmin holding up his hand. 

"I think," Seungmin said with tired eyes, "I just want to be alone for now. 

He immediately saw the hurt flash through his boyfriends eyes. Jeongin tried to put on a smile, if he needed space, he would give him space. No matter how much he wanted to fix it. 

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry hyung." He said, looking anywhere but his boyfriends gaze.

In any other case Seungmin would end the conversation there, but he always had a soft spot for the strawberry blonde boy. 

He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the others lips. We're gonna be okay, he was trying to say. 

"I'm sorry baby, I just need time." He said softly. 

Jeongin just nodded with a small smile that didnt meet his eyes. 

Seungmin softly closed the door. 

With the door closed, and nobody around, Jeongin let his smile fall. He didnt need space. He really needed someone right now, but who was he to demand that. He took a deep breathe and left the hallway.

⚖

Jisung was sitting at his kitchen, with his friends. Despite his previous plans of actually studying and working on his project, his friends had other plans. 

They were bored, he had food.

"So then you just closed the door on him?" Jisung was completely engrossed in the recent drama.

"Well, it wasnt like I slammed it in his face! I just needed space." Seungmin said, the tiniest hint of sulk in his voice.

"What was your fight even about?" Chan piped up from next the microwave, waiting for his food to heat up.

Seungmin fiddled with the bowl of peanuts in front if him before answering. 

"Well, basically. I wanted to get ice cream but he wanted ramen. And then he said that I always change my mind and then i got annoyed and it just escalated." 

"Are you fucking _serious_?" Changbin said from the kitchen stool. "You had a fight about ramen?"

"Language." Chan said flicking the black haired boy. Changbin flinched and gave the other an annoyed look.

"Well it wasnt just ramen 'Bin! He said some pretty hurtful stuff." Seungmin retorted, a sour look in his eyes. 

"Really? Our Innie?" Jisung said curiously. 

"Yeah, your Innie." Seungmin said in a mocking tone.

"He said I'm always so indecisive, and that when I make jokes I hurt people, but no one says anything because they're too nice." He said finally.

No one said anything. 

"Is that true guys?" 

Jisung suddenly became really interested in the peanuts in front of him, Changbin, with the fluff stuck to his jeans.

"Well..." Chan spoke up, "You can be a bit... harsh sometimes. But we will definitely speak up if that happens. We all know you wouldnt actually want to hurt us." He said, in a gentle tone. 

Seungmin just looked down at his hands, jaw clenched. 

"Maybe you guys could talk about it?"Jisung suggested. "You and Jeongin, you could set up boundarys and stuff."

"Yeah, you're right." Seungmin said heavily. 

"And hey, Minho seemed to like your jokes." Changbin said, trying to lighten the mood.

It was Jisungs turn to shut down, he bit his tounge to stop him from talking, he didnt want to mess with their perspective of their new friend. 

"Yeah I guess." Seungmin said with a slight chuckle. "What do you guys think of him anyway?"

"I literally only exchanged like, two words with him." Changbin stated. "But hey, I heard you guys had a fight or something?" Everyone looked towards Jisung.

Jisung kept his head slightly down, he lifted his gaze and opened his mouth to say something.

"It wasnt a fight." Chan cut in. Jisung shot him an appreciative glance. "Sungie was just drunk. Things got out of hand accidently." 

"Whatever you say man, but the vibe was so weird when I got there."

"Hey at least the pizza was good." Chan said trying to change the subject. 

As the conversation went on Jisung spaced out into his own little world. He still felt really guilty about what had happened with Minho. He tried to think how he could fix things but he just didnt know how. Maybe they could talk, about that night. He doubted Minho would want that. He seemed to think Jisung didnt remember, and it looked like he would have rathered it stayed that way. But now, Jisung knew. Jisung knew their secret. But would it stay that way.

A secret?

⚖

  
Minho never wanted the moment to end. Everything suddenly felt right. Maybe he had figured something out. He broke the kiss to look at the sweet boy in front of him, who's eyes were still closed. Instead he spotted someone in the corner of his eyes. His heart sank in panic. He looked back at the boy in front of him and realized what was going to happen. 

He took shaky steps back, wiping what was left of the precious moment from his lips onto his sleeve. As he looked down to it and felt like throwing up. He looked back up and saw the hurt in the sweet boys eyes. He needed to leave. Now. He turned and walked away from the moment that everything had fit, for once.

He couldn't breathe, what was going to happen now. He had seen, someone had seen, and it was _him_. He walked as fast as he could to go home, which wasnt far away from the wet field the party was in. He looked down at his muddy shoes, which were now ruined. Hes eyes unfocused, his thoughts taking up too much space. 

His breathing got heavier, whether that was from walking or panic he had no idea. He reached his driveway and looked up to his house. He paused, there was a person in front of his door blocking his way. 

"What the fuck was that?" His brother spat vemonously. 

Minho hesitated, his mouth went dry. 

"W-what are you taking about?" 

"What you were doing with that- that boy." His brother said disgusted. 

"I-"

"Are you fucking gay or something?" He said taking a step forward. Minho wanted to move but he was frozen, trying to concentrate on not hyperventilating. 

"Is that it? You're a fucking _queer_?" The boy in front of him said, grabbing the collar of his shirt roughly. 

"I-I'm sorry, I'm not-" 

He was cut off by a hand across his face. He first felt it go numb, and then warmth creeped up, and then pain. 

His brother pushed him roughly, and Minho, too in shock to support himself fell to the ground. 

"You better get your act together. I'm not having a faggot in my house." His brother said through his teeth, before walking back into the house.

Minho was left there, dirty rainwater seeping into his pants as he knelt on the driveway. His eyes blinking away tears as he shakily held his cheek, the cold doing little to sooth it. 

-

He woke with a start, sitting up, panting hard. His mind flashing with the memories of that night. 

A soft smile, sad eyes, muddy shoes, a drop of blood in a sink, a cracked mirror. 

He fell back in his bed, his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. He felt his pulse, trying to ground himself, to remind himself hes here, now, safe. He looked to the side and saw empty takeaway boxes, reminding him of the earlier conversation with his friend. His breathing steadying out. 

Maybe things could get better.

⚖

_**The squad**_ 😎

 _2:35am_  
 **Hyunjin** : hey guys! Birthday party at jaehyuns this saturday :)

 **Changbin** : sweet I needed to get drunk.

 **Chan** : smh ur gonna end up having a   
drinking problem binnie.

 **Changbin** : who says I dont already  
hyung :P

 **Felix** : hyung please be careful :(

 **Jisung:** I'll be there.

 **Hyunjin** : cool someone tell Jeongin and   
Seungmin they both left the gc   
after their fight. They'll probs  
just rejoin later. I already told   
Minho.

 **Changbin** : ooooooh Sungie watch out,   
you might get drunk and   
punch him >:3

 **Jisung** : seo changbin I might punch you  
instead.

Jisung put down his phone down as he layed in bed. He doubted he would get a good night's sleep tonight either. He wasnt looking forward to it so he decided to distract himself for tonight. He got up from his bed and put on his robe and his slippers, he grabbed some change from his wallet and left his apartment. He locked his door behind him and set off past the other room numbers. 

As he made his way he quietly hummed a verse from his latest song. As much as he hated his nightmares, he grew to love the night time. Something about it was so peaceful and comforting. When the Earth is quiet for once, people are sleeping, and he can finally do what he wants, with no pressure. Sure he did get lonely sometimes, wishing he had someone to text or hug while he waited out the tired race between his bodys needs and his minds willpower. His friends were online sometimes but never past 3. 

He turned the corner to the vending machine and saw someone standing in front of his destination. He stopped, no one was usually awake. He recognized the silhouette of a certain black haired boy.

His mind was telling him to turn around and walk away but for some reason his body froze. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Why was Minho even here? Was he stalking him? Oh no, what if Minho thought HE was stalking him. He focused his gaze at back at the back of the older boys hair. He crouched down to get whatever he was getting from the vending machine.

_Go! Turn around right now! Literally just leave!_

Minho turned around with his snacks and didnt notice the other boy at first because he took a few steps before lifting his gaze and making eye contact with the younger.

They just stood there for a few moments both in slight shock. It was 2:30am on a Monday in a private apartment complex

And they were here.

Together.

Alone.

"What... are you doing here?" Minho asked cautiously.

"I, uh, live here?" Jisung replied, equally as cautious. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I also... live here."

"Oh."

The atmosphere was suffocating. Jisung finally broke the eye contact as Minhos gaze turned cold. 

Minho just blinked slowly and continued walking away from the vending machine. Towards Jisung. 

_Why is he coming over here_ , Jisung started panicking, his heart rate picking up. 

Minho didnt show any signs of stopping. About a metre in front of him, he turned and set down the hallway Jisung originated from. Jisung caught a whiff of mint. It made him remember a summer night, which in turn reminded him of their mini fight.

"Wait." He blurted out without thinking. 

Minho, to his own surprise, stopped in his tracks. He waited for the orange-blond to continue.

Great thinking Jisung, what the fuck are you supposed to say now.

"Can we, uh, talk?" He said, more of a suggestion. 

Minho thought for a moment. He still felt a slight panic whenever it came to the younger boy, but now that he knew his friends wouldnt be disgusted by him being... not normal, maybe he could at least try be a bit more comfortable with him.

He turned to face Jisung. 

"Okay, let's talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could this be a turning point in Minho and Jisung relationship??? Sorry for the mini cliffhanger :/ also sorry I uploaded this a bit late i got distracted by bangbangcon, I'm so excited for day 2 it has like, all my favourite songs.


	6. A Conversation

Jisung didnt say anything for a second. He wasnt actually expecting Minho to stay. 

"U-uh I-"

"Wait."

Ah this is it, Jisung thought. Minho probably only agreed so he could insult him or something. 

"Can we walk while talking? I feel weird just saying everything in a random hallway." Minho asked, gesturing to the space around them. And Jisung would've slapped himself if he wasnt sure he wasnt dreaming because, did Minho just sound... shy? It was a tiny undertone, but it was there.

"Y-yeah. Sure" Jisung said trying to gather his thoughts up again. 

Minho turned and started walking, not checking to see if the other was following. Jisungs brain lagged and he only moved from his spot after a few moments. He half jogged to catch up to the black haired boy. 

"So um, what I was gonna say, is um, I'm sorry." Jisung said meekly from beside the older boy. 

Minho didnt say anything, he just opened his bag of crisps.

"And uh, I hope we can try to be friends?" He asked gingerly as they walked up the stairs. Minho tilted his head at this, contemplating. 

"I think I'd like that." He said quietly. 

They walked through the hallway and Jisung played with his sleeve absentmindedly, as he tried to calm his heart. Only friends Sung, he reminded himself. 

He almost walked into Minho as the older one stopped next to his own apartment. 

"How did you know this was my apartment?" Jisung asked with a confused frown. Was Minho really stalking him? 

"Uh, this is _my_ apartment?" Minho said, pointing to the one next to his. 

What kind of fucked up thing was the universe planning, Jisung thought. He could sense things getting awkward again and he decided to rectify the situation. 

He stuck out his hand.

"Hi, I'm your neighbor, Han Jisung." He said mustering up a smile.

Minho paused, he looked at the hand presented to him, and then back up to the boy in front of him. He saw a soft smile and a memory popped up in his mind again, but this time instead of everything, like earlier in the night, he only thought of the warm feeling that he had felt at that moment.

He smiled slightly as he accepted the hand and shook it gently. 

"Lee Minho. It's nice to meet you."

Jisungs panic calmed down as he realized that Minho accepted his proposition to start over. Yet his heart raced at the simple contact. His hands were so soft and delicate, a direct contrast to his usual demeanor. 

As they unconnected their hands Minho slightly turned to unlock his door, his small smile still lasting on his face. Jisung was about to turn to his own apartment when he got cut off by an unexpected question. 

"I have some leftover takeaway, if you want to eat something?" Minho asked sheepishly, not looking at Jisung.

Jisung looked at him with big eyes for a few moments. Minhos mind immediately went to the worst. You fucked up, you overstepped, he probably doesn't even want to be in the same room as you. His thoughts stalled as he saw a familiar soft smile spread across the other boys face. How was it that a simple smile could effect him this much.

"Yeah, I'd love to." Jisung said happily. 

Minho quickly went to open the door, thanking the universe that he had thought to shower and clean up his place after Hyunjin left. 

They stepped in and Jisung noticed how much the place contrasted what Minho chose to show to the world. It was cozy and welcoming, he could easily imagine the friend group hanging out here. It made him wonder just what kind of person Minho was hiding beneath that tough exterior of his. 

As Jisung slipped off his shoes and made his way over to the kitchen island, he spotted a furry mass sitting on the counter top.

"Cute cat." Jisung said sweetly.

"Thanks, I have two more bastards running around somewhere." Minho replied softly as he scratched the cats chin. 

Jisung just observed him. He never thought Minho would be so... _sweet_. It was cute.

The younger sat down on a stool as Minho started taking plastic tubs out of the fridge and putting them in the microwave.

"So why did you move?" Jisung asked, making conversation. 

Minho blanked, caught off guard. 

Jisungs eyes widened. "Oh no, I'm sorry is that too personal or something?" He blurted out, worried he made a mistake already.

"No, dont worry." Minho replied, his brain working again as he placed the takeaway in the microwave. "I dont know, I just got bored I guess. Nothing changed in that town."

"Yeah, I never really liked it there. I liked the sea though." Jisung agreed. 

"One thing I miss when I live in the city?" Minho said leaning on the counter facing Jisung. "The sea." 

Jisung nodded, remembering the smell of the sand and the salt. 

"Well hey at least theres boba tea here." 

Minho gave a small chuckle at that. To Jisung that laugh was like music to his ears. He felt the need to do anything, just to here him laugh again.

Ding! 

Minho took the food out of the microwave and placed the dishes between him and the younger boy. He placed chopsticks next to other and Jisung immediately started digging in. 

"So why are you awake this late?" Minho asked the other, who was now shoveling rice into his mouth.

"Uh, couldnt sleep I guess." Jisung said between a bite. Not a complete lie. 

"And you?"

Minho hesitated, remembering his dream. He pushed the memories aside, instead focusing the boy in front of him. 

"Has anyone ever told you, you look like a squirrel when you eat?" He stated. 

Jisung started giggling at that, slightly embarrassed. He jokingly punched the olders arm. 

"Hey, shut up." His cheeks still full. They both started laughing, if even slightly. 

The atmosphere felt more relaxed, it felt good. They were both slowly adapting to the other. Jisung felt like this was right. It wasnt perfect yet, he knew they both had a guard up still. But they were comfortable, that was enough for now. 

They talked until they finished the food, about nothing in particular. The sea, how different city life was, Jisung found about Minhos love for cats, Minho found out about Jisungs love for art. The conversation flowed naturally. 

Soon Jisung started yawning, surprising himself. He can usually stay awake for longer. He checked his phone

**4.24am**

He sighed, he didnt want to leave. Minho, yawned himself. 

"I'm getting pretty tired. Do you think we should call it a night?"

"Well I mean it's practically morning so yeah, probably." Jisung said getting up from the stool. 

"Oh shut up, dont remind me." Minho said with a slight smile as he walked to the door with him. Jisung liked his smile, it suited him. 

He walked over to his own door, a metre away and unlocked it. He opened it, but didnt step in yet. He turned to face his new friend who was leaning, back against his own door frame. 

"I had fun tonight, I'm glad we could fix things." Jisung said with a smile.

Minho smiled back. "Me too."

Jisung didnt want the night to end yet, but he had to be up for classes in the morning. He started to turn to go back into his apartment. 

"Wait," Minho blurted out. 

Jisung turned to him quizzically.

"Are you going to Jaehyuns party?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah." Jisung stated, wondering what this was about. 

"Oh, ok. Good."Minho said, giving Jisung a gentle smile before turning back into his apartment. "Goodnight Jisung." He said before closing the door.

Jisung just stood there, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

 _Good_.

Minho thought it was _good_ he was going to the party. He wanted him there.

"Goodnight." he quietly said. Still in his haze, he went back into his apartment. 

Minho stood against his closed door. He hadn't smiled that much since he moved here. Maybe it wasnt such a bad thing that this boy had followed him into his new life. 

⚖

"Hey put me down!" Jeongin said through his giggles. 

Seungmin just laughed more and continued running towards the sea, the younger in his arms. 

"Dont you dare!" 

Seungmin was knee deep when he threw Jeongin in to the water, still laughing. His eyes filling with tears at the point.

Jeonging surfaced from the water with a breath and rubbed his eyes. He looked at the older with an evil smile. 

"Kim Seungmin. You are officially dead." He said in a low voice. 

Seungmin looked at him, a smile still lingering on his face. They both stood still. 

Then he ran. Well he tried to, as best as he could knee deep in the ocean. Jeongin was faster though and he tackled the older boy, both falling into the water. 

Their heads surfaced from the water, both completely drenched. They were still laughing, absentmindly holding onto each other. As the laughter quieted down Jeongin took in the boy before him. He felt something close to love overwhelm his heart. He leaned in and quickly pecked the others lips gently. He hid half his face in the water, embarrassed. Seungmin just looked at the younger with a fond look. He ruffled the strawberry blonde hair in front of him. 

"You're such an idiot." He said softly.

Jeongin rose his head up partially from the water. 

"I'm _your_ idiot though." He replied, a blush on his cheeks.

"Yah! Lovebirds! The barbecues ready C'mon!" Changbin yelled from the beach.

-

Jeongin layed in his bed, the memory floating through his mind. It hurt, it hurt so much and he wished Seungmin was here to hold him right now. He just pulled the duvet over his head, blocking out the world. His phone buzzed next to his head, he ignored it. It buzzed again and he gave in and unlocked it, his eyes adjusting to the brightness.

**Minnie <3**   
9.15pm

_I'm outside._   
_Can we please talk._

Jeongin shot up, panic seeping in. This was it. Seungmin was going to break up with him. He messed up so badly. He got up and quickly made his way to the door. He hesitated for a second before opening the door. He steadied his breathing, he didnt want to show Seungmin he wasnt okay, that would just bother him. He opened the door.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw his boyfriend. Who had been looking at his shoes until the door opened, he was now looking at Jeongin. Who was looking back. They both had too much they wanted to say, but they didn't know how. 

"I-"

"You-"

They both waited for the other to continued.

"You can-"

"Sorry you-"

They stopped again, great start to the conversation.

"Please. Let me talk." Seungmin finally said, a pleading look on his face.

Jeongin bit the inside of his cheek, waiting for the brown haired boy to continue.

"I... am _so_ sorry baby." Seungmin said holding one of the other boys hands with his. 

"I know I shouldn't have gotten annoyed with you, I was just having a bad day. I didn't mean for it to go like this." 

"Its oka-"

"Wait, please, just let me finish." Seungmin said rubbing little circles on his boyfriends hand. 

"I-I really didnt mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry." He could feel tears beginning to pool in his eyes. "Please, just, please dont leave" 

He closed his eyes, waiting, as a tear rolled down his cheek.

He felt a soft palm on his cheek. He opened his eyes as his boyfriend wiped away his tear with his thumb. Jeongin looked at the older with a sad smile.

"Minnie I was never going to leave." 

Seungmin swallowed thickly and then pulled the other in for a tight hug. The younger just responded by rubbing his back softly. 

Jeongin knew things weren't back to normal fully. There were things that they hadn't talked about. But for now, he had his boyfriend back, and that was enough for him.

"Holy shit. Is this the day I finally see Kim Seungmin cry?"

Seungmins eyes fell on the person who just emerged from Chans room. 

"Changbin why are you always just... here." He said with narrowed eyes, still hugging his boyfriend tightly.

"Food, dude. Food"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to build on side character relationships while still keeping the main minsung storyline it's hard hhhh.


	7. A Ring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short but the next one will be longer I promise

Minho get your ass out of bed!" Hyunjin yelled as he burst through the door.

Minho opened his eyes slowly from under his cozy duvet in his cozy bed. He was unfortunately facing the taller boy who had just interrupted his sleep. He had never felt the urge to kill so early in the day.

"Hyuunnnggg~" Hyunjin whined, over doing the pout.

"How the hell did you get in my apartment Hyunjin." He said, his voice low and rough from sleep.

"I picked the lock." Hyunjin held his head high. "It's one of my special skills."

Minho just fixed the younger boy with a sleepy death stare. Still effective it seemed though.

"Ugh, fine I found spare key whatever." The brown haired boy sighed as he flopped onto the couch dramatically. "You ruined the magic. Happy?"

"You breaking into my apartment is not magic. It's bad luck."

"I didnt _break in_. You just have no common sense. You hid you spare key under the doormat? Really?"

Minho sat up in his bed and he could feel his bed hair sticking everywhere. 

"Why are you here 'Jin." He grumbled. 

"I'm here, because you need cute clothes for the party." Hyunjin said, swinging the key around his finger.

"Are you insinuating I dont have cute clothes?" Minho said between a yawn.

"To be fair you do have more fashion sense than most of my friends but still, it's good bonding time." 

Minho just rolled his eyes and layed back down trying to get back to his half asleep state. "Forget it 'Jin." He mumbled.

"Oh by the way I texted the group chat and the others will be here in fifteen minutes." Hyunjin stated nonchalantly. 

Minho stayed silent. Hyunjin didnt see any movement for about 3 seconds and then-

"Why the fuck didnt you tell me that earlier!" Minho yelled as he angrily tore the blanket from himself. 

He put on his slippers and went to the bathroom to sort out his hair and brush his teeth. All very angrily and stompy. 

_Cute_ , Hyunjin thought.

"I thought you weren't interested hyung?" Hyunjin said with sarcasm. 

"Shut it Hwang. Let me brush my teeth in peace or I swear to god I'll stab you with my toothbrush." 

Hyunjin put his hands up in a surrender. 

"Okay, I get it. You're not a morning person."

Knock knock.

"Hey I was told to come over?" A muffled voice was heard through the door.

"Ugh they're here early. I swear to god I will murder your friends." Minho muttered while he paced to the door with a look of utter annoyance on his face.

He threw open the door and the look was immediately replaced with confusion and then shock and and then a weird emotionally constipated look. All in the space of 1 second. 

⚖

  
Jisung smoothed his shirt down one more time before he cleared his voice. He was never usually this nervous but when it came to Minho... no, stop it Jisung, just friends. 

He knocked softly on the door. 

"Hey, I was told to come over." He hoped he could hear him through the door. 

Suddenly the door was violently thrown open. Minho was standing there ready to death glare whoever the unlucky bastard who knocked on his door at 9:30 in the morning was. In this case, Jisung. But that looked switched between a few emotions at once when he saw the younger boy standing in his doorway. 

Jisung didnt notice his expression however, because he was currently dying on the inside of how fucking _cute_ Minho looked with messy bed hair, pyjamas and a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. And was that... Minho was blushing slightly? Jisung struggled to keep his expression normal and not just _Aaaaaw!_ out loud.

"Oh" 

"Hi." Jisung stated with a nervous smile.

"Hi." the pink tint was starting to turn into a red.

"Um, can I come in?" Jisung motioned to the apartment.

Minho snapped out of whatever weird daze he was in. 

"Y-yeah sure. Sorry." He said before closing the door behind the younger. 

Jisung spotted a familiar face sitting on the couch and immediately ran over.

"Jinnie!" Jisung greeted the brown haired boy with a bear hug.

"Hey Jisung." Hyunjin said hugging him back, still confused with this whole interaction.

"I'm gonna, uh, yeah" Minho said awkwardly gesturing to his toothbrush and the bathroom. He grabbed some clothes quickly from his dresser and went to ready himself for the day.

As soon as he was out of earshot Hyunjin turned to the orange-blond. 

"Dude. What was that? Last time you both were in the same room you couldnt stand each other." 

"Oh." Jisung forgot about that. "Well it involves a very awkward encounter near a vending machine but, I guess when we found out we were neighbor's we decided it would be better to make up."

Hyunjin just blinked at him.

"Huh. That's weird." 

"Why is it weird." Jisung said with furrowed brows.

"If theres one thing I know about Minho, is that he holds grudges."

That was news to Jisung. He seemed to accept his apology right away. Maybe he was just in a good mood that day? Before he could answer-

"S'up losers." Changbin and Felix walked through the door casually. Changbins arm around Felix's waist.

"Lix! Binnie!" Jisung said as he attacked them both in a hug.

"Jisung you literally saw me yesterday." Changbin said bluntly. 

"Shh let him enjoy his hugs." Felix stated as he shot a disapproving look to the shorter boy beside him. 

"Okay, there is more people in here than when I left." Minho said coming out of the bathroom. 

Jisungs jaw would have dropped if he didnt have as much self control as he had. 

Minho looked, _so good._

How was a simple striped short sleeved shirt and black jeans looking so good on him? Maybe it was the two unbuttoned buttons. Maybe it was the way the skinny jeans hugged his thighs in just the right way. Maybe it was the extra chain necklaces around his neck. Whatever it was, Jisung was starstruck.

"That's what happens when you have friends." Changbin said jokingly. 

"Oi, respect your elders."

"My apologies." Changbin said sarcastically going into a deep bow.

"So are we ready to head off?" Minho said ignoring the younger boy. 

"Yeap, Chans uh, busy." Hyunjin spoke up from the couch. 

"And Jeongin and Seungmin?" Jisung asked as he made his way over to Changbin and Felix at the door

"Oh they just made up so they're spending some time together." Hyunjin replied as he joined them. 

"Okay let's skedaddle." Minho said as he opened the door for them and locked it behind them.

"You sound like such a grandpa." Changbin snorted.

"Like I said, respect your elders." 

⚖

Chan layed on his bed, scrolling through instagram. Which is what he had been doing for the past 3 hours. He saw that Hyunjin had updated his instagram story and he clicked on it. It was of the group and it seemed like they were on their way to the shopping centre. 

Even though Chan was invited and he himself turned it down, he still felt himself deflate seeing his friends hang out without him. He knew he had absolutely no energy to get out of his bed and shower, let alone go out with his friends, but he still wanted to be there in some way. He didnt understand his brain, it confused him. 

He put down his phone and let his eyes unfocus as music played from his phone.

He felt so tired. All the time. Physically. Emotionally. He just wanted it to go away. 

As he lay in his bed a memory floated up from some pit in the back of his brain. 

-

He woke up in his bed and felt content. He was happy, everything had turned out right. He expected to feel the warmth of his boyfriend next to him like usual, except, there wasn't. It was cold. 

He sat up, a bit confused but it's fine, he probably just went to the gym or something. 

He got out of bed and stretched. He thought about how good everything was right now. He also couldnt help the nervous thoughts as he saw a drawer. The drawer wasnt making him nervous but the contents, specifically a little box with a ring inside. He still hadn't figured out when he was going to ask. Lately there hadn't been a right time. But it would come eventually he reassured himself.

His eyes wandered to the content above the drawer, on the actual desk. He paused in his movements as he noticed a few things missing. He was confused for a minute until he looked over at his boyfriends side of the bed and realized the night stand next to it,

Completely bare. 

Panic and confusion flooded his bloodstream. He slowly walked over to the closet. Half the clothes were gone. His boyfriends clothes. 

_No. No. No. This cant be happening. Everything was good. Why was this happening_. 

He slowly stumbled into the main room. His brain barely catching up to his body. Everything was too much. His breath caught in his throat. 

All his boyfriends stuff had gone. All of it. 

As he felt his throat closing up he looked around desperately trying to take in his surroundings but everything was going fuzzy. He spotted a note on the table. He gingerly picked it up, afraid of what he would find, but he needed answers. 

' _I'm sorry but, I cant be here anymore. It's too much for me. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person._ '

He didnt even notice the tears until he saw them drop onto the paper before him. He felt his legs giving out and he fell to his knees.

Was that it? 3 years thrown away, and all he was left with was a note with three sentences.

And a ring. 

A ring he was about to give to the very person who had just shattered his heart into pieces. And just when he was getting better. 

He couldnt stop the tears from coming but he just sat there, no sound, no reaction. Just reading the note, over and over.

-

It's been 6 months since Hyunjin had found him on the floor crying his heart out on a Friday night. 

6 months, and he still blamed himself. 

'Its too much for me.' Is what the note said. 

'You're too much for me.' Is what it sounded like in his head. 

Why else would he leave? He was probably too overbearing. Too forward. He obviously didnt get any hints, he had a ring for God's sake. 

He looked at the drawer across his room. He hadn't opened it since that day. He had placed the note in that drawer and never opened it after that. He couldnt forget about it though. In moments like these, where he was reminded of the day he spiraled out of control again. 

He closed his eyes, focusing back on the music, trying his best to drift off to the place where he didnt have to think anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha ow.


	8. A moment

"Jisungggg~ come out." Felix said with a pout. 

"Stop whining Lix'. Give me like 5 seconds."

Changbin turned his head to Felix as he had his arm around his shoulders.

"Haha brat." He said jokingly. 

Felix just stuck out his tounge at that childishly. 

Jisung opened the curtain of the changing room and walked out dramatically posing and strutting. As he did a final turn he spoke.

"Thoughts?"

"Ooooh Sungie you're turning looks." Hyunjin said proudly. 

"Why thank you good sir." He said in a fake curtsey. 

"Minho how long does it take you to try on some skinny jeans?" Hyunjin asked looking at his watch. 

"Shut up Hwang, go get a fruit juice or something, you child." Minho retorted from inside the changing room. 

Hyunjin just rolled his eyes. 

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea actually." He said turning to the exit. "I'm gonna get a slushy. Meet me there when your done." 

Felix looked at Changbin. 

"Hyung I want one too." He said giving his best puppy eyes to the shorter. 

Changbin sighed heavily before giving in. 

"Fine let's go." He said before getting dragged by the hand as Felix smiled brightly. 

Jisung didnt say anything and just went back into his changing room to get back into his own clothes. 

⚖

Minho couldnt get this stupid jumper off him. He got halfway over his arms when it just got stuck. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Everyone had gone for slushies. He just kept struggling and started to feel a bit claustrophobic. He tried to calm himself down a bit.

"Ow fuck!" He exclaimed as his earring got caught on the stupid fucking jumper. Ugh could this get any worse?

"Are you okay?" A soft voice came from the changing room next to him. He recognized that voice anywhere. 

Jisung. 

Great. Maybe he could just pretend no one was here and he would go away. As the the thought crossed his mind he accidently pulled the earring again. He hissed through his teeth in pain. Everyone left, I guess I have no choice, he thought to himself.

"Um, I'm stuck." He responded meekly. 

He heard the curtain open in the changing room next to him. He heard the footsteps stop in front of his own. 

"Can I come in or are you..."

It took him a second but Minhos cheeks flushed when he realized what the other implied. 

"No! I mean yes! As in no I'm not naked and yes you can come in!" He said panicked. 

He heard the curtain open behind him. 

⚖

Jisung was not expecting this. I mean if he was he wouldnt have gasped out loud. 

There was Minho, shirtless, in front of him. 

Okay well not entirely shirtless. The jumper was stuck halfway over his arms and his head was angled on a weird way. Jisung immediately felt the blood rush to his cheeks as he tried his best not to openly stared at the older boys well defined abs. He failed miserably. 

"What? What's wrong?" Minho asked worridly at the gasp Jisung let out when he first walked in. 

Jisung snapped out of his daze, his cheeks still on fire.

"N-nothing, everything's good."Jisung said mustering up a smile. "Do you... need help?" He asked looking Minho in the eyes desperately trying to not look lower. 

"Yeah, please." Minho said with pleading eyes and a chuckle.

Jisung swallowed thickly and approached the older boy. Trying not to get too close. He grabbed onto the jumper and almost started to pull it off when-

"Wait wait!"

"What!" Jisung said jumping back panicking. 

"My earring's stuck be careful." 

Jisung heart calmed down a bit at that. 

"Oh, okay."

He once again approached the older boy. He had to stand close to him to see what he was doing. He reached his hand to the earring in question but on the way it gently brushed the cheek of the boy in front of him. He heard a small sharp intake of air from the other as that happened. He decided to ignore it. 

As he worked on untangling the earring he didnt realise how close he was getting until he felt the breathe of the boy in front of him ghost his cheek. He stopped in his movement for a second. His brain completely just, malfunctioning. It brought him back to the kiss that night. The kiss they still havent talked about. 

"Why did you stop?"

He got brought out of his thoughts by Minhos low quiet voice. Almost a whisper, except Jisung heard it perfectly, due to the fact that their faces were only a few inches apart. The younger boy couldn't help but look at him as they met eyes for a split second. A split second that felt like eternity. 

"Jisung?" 

He remembered that Minho was currently stuck in an uncomfortable position and he mentally cursed himself for not paying attention properly.

He didnt say anything to the question asked and just kept working at the earring. He finally got it unstuck and took a step backwards. The short distance between them helping to calm his heart a bit. 

He gripped the bottom of the jumper and Minho flinched slightly as his fingers grazed his bare torso. 

"You're hands are cold." He said with a little chuckle. 

Jisung just gave an embarrassed smile at that. 

"Okay I'm gonna count to three and then pull it over, m'k?"

"Yeap."

"1...2...3"

He pulled it over but it got a bit stuck again at the shoulders. He pulled it a bit more and stepped forward to balance better. As the jumper finally went over Minhos head Jisung gave a big smile. 

He then looked back to Minhos face. They were standing way too close. Minhos happy smile at finally getting the jumper off was fading into a smaller softer barely there smile as they both looked each other in the eyes. 

The moment seemed to last forever, it reminded Jisung of the night last summer. It was the same. Both nervous. Both unsure how this was going to go. 

Jisung saw Minho look down at his lips and then slowly start leaning in. His eyes fluttered shut as he anticipated the contact. 

"Oh my god can you hurry up alread-"

The curtain was aggressively torn open by Hyunjin as Jisung and Minho immediately jumped to opposite ends of the tiny changing room. Hyunjin just looked at the scene in front of him with wide eyes. Minhos hands immediately went to cover his bare chest as Jisung rushed past Hyunjin to get his stuff from the other stall. 

"I'm gonna go find Changbin and Felix." He said hurriedly as he quickly gathered his stuff and left out the door. 

Hyunjin and Minho just stayed still.

⚖

A million thoughts raced through Minhos head at the moment he processed that someone had caught them again. His body immediately went into panic mode as he took steps away from Hyunjin, backing himself into the corner. This was just like last time. How could he have let this happen again he thought as it started getting harder for him to breath. 

"Minho w-"

"I-I'm sorry. Please we- It wasnt what it looks like." He said with wide eyes. Trying to shrink away. 

Hyunjins face turned from a look of shock to concern. 

"Hey hey hey, why are you sorry what-" he said taking slow steps towards his friend. 

"Please I-I'm sorry" Minho frantically said deflating into his corner. 

Hyunjin reached out to comfort him and Minho visibly flinched, his hands going to protect his head instinctively.

Hyunjin stopped and took a few steps back to the opposite side of the stall, giving him as much space as he could. As he went to kneel on the floor, going down to his friends level. 

"Hey look I wont touch you okay?" He said gently lifting his hands in a peaceful gesture. "You're safe Minho, no ones going to hurt you."

Minho just looked at him fear reflecting in his eyes as he tried desperately to level his breathing. He put his hand on his heart, feeling his pulse as he tried to ground himself. He shut his eyes tight trying to calm himself down. He tried to think about where he was. He was in a changing room, with his friends, he was okay. He was safe, like Hyunjin had said. 

He opened his eyes taking in his surroundings again. His eyes falling on his friend on the other side of the room, waiting patiently as he watched with concerned eyes. 

"I-I'm... sorry" Minho said quietly, his breathing mostly back to normal now. He didnt take his hand off his heart as he sat, his back against the wall. 

"Hey, dont be sorry Minho." Hyunjin said sternly. "Please, don't be sorry." He repeated again, a bit more gently this time.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Minho collecting his thoughts. Hyunjin trying to figure out what to say. 

"Do you want to talk about... what happened?" He finally offered. 

Minho paused before answering. He really shouldn't keep these things to himself, or one day hes going to break. And if telling Hyunjin about his other... problem helped, maybe telling him about this would help as well. 

"Last year." He stated calmly. "When I was uh, figuring things out. I was at a party. Basically," he sighed, "my brother caught me kissing... a boy. And um."

He hesitated.

"He... didnt react to it that well." 

Hyunjins concerned expression had a hint of anger mixed in now. 

"That's when it started, but it didnt end there. After that he found any excuse to..."

He cleared his throat nervously. 

"That's the reason I moved. Well, part of it." He finished. 

There was a silence. 

Hyunjin got up a walked over to a spot a bit in front of Minho. He didnt hug him, which Minho was thankful for, he didnt he wanted any contact with anyone for a little while. 

"Minho." With that the black haired boy looked up at Hyunjin, who was looking him directly in the eye. 

"What happened to you... was horrible. And I promise you if I ever see your brother I will personally punch him in the throat." 

Minho chuckled dryly at that. 

"I just want you to know, nothing like that will ever happen to you again. Not if I'm in your life. Not when you have all of us. I promise, you're safe with us." 

Minho just smiled weakly at the younger. 

"Thanks Jinnie." He said quietly. 

"Now, do you wanna join the rest for slushies?" 

"Yeah but we better get proper food as well, I'm fucking starving." 

"Okay but as much as I like abs put your shirt on first."

⚖

Jisung ran to Changbin and Felix and dropped his bags in front of them. 

After Hyunjin had walked in he grabbed his shit and booked it. He went to the cash register and luckily there wasnt a line. He hurriedly payed for his clothes and left the store to find his friends. 

"What the fuck, did you run a marathon or something?" Changbin said as Jising leaned forward hands resting on his knees trying to catch his breathe. 

"Nope. Just... excited... for... slushies." He panted out. 

Changbing narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

"Tch, whatever." 

Jisung straightened up and went up to the cashier asking for a slushy. 

"What do you think that was about?" Felix asked Changbin.

"Hmmm I dont know. But him and Minho have been weird. First they fight, and then they're all buddy-buddy." The shorter replied. 

"Whatever it is, it's none of our business." 

"Yeah you're right."

There was a beat of silence as they observed to orange-blonde in front of them.

"I still want to know though."

"Oh definitely." Felix agreed.

Jisung walked back over to them, slushie in hand. 

"So what have you been up to?" Jisung asked before taking a few sips of the red and blue drink in his hands.

"Just wondering where all the sexual tension between you and Minho is going to go."

Jisung immediately choked on his slushy, eyes bulging at Changbins statement. 

"Seo Changbin what the fuck?!" Jisung coughed out when he finally got enough oxygen. 

"Well, I mean, it has been a bit weird..."

Jisung looked at Felix in confusion as the youngest finally spoke up. 

"Like, first you guys were going to rip your heads off and then the next time we see you, you're all friendly. All be it awkward, but friends all the same."

"Not to mention you practically had an orgasm when you saw him in those jeans." Changbin added helpfully. 

"Oh my god what the fuck?! I-I didnt have an- Its not like that!" Jisung stammered out defensively. 

Felix just pointedly sipped his slushy and Changbin raised his eyebrow at the orange-blonde. 

"Okay fine." Jisung caved. "So what if I have a tiny crush on him. Can you blame me?"

"Nope. The thighs on that man." Felicmx agreed with a nod.

"Hey." Changbin pouted slightly.

"Dont worry babe you have nice thighs too." Felix offered with a smile. 

"Look, please dont mention this to anyone. I dont even know if he's interested." Jisung said, still blushing. 

"You have my word." Felix said sweetly.

"You have to pay for my food today." Changbin said bluntly. 

Jisung was about to argue when he got cut off by the sight of Hyunjin and a more relaxed Minho than the one he left, coming out of the store they had been in. 

Changbin and Felix both noticed his stare and they turned to look. Changbin immediately sporting an evil grin. 

"Not a word or no free food." Jisung half whispered sternly to the boy in question as the two others joined them. 

"Okay, I'm fucking starving. Let's get food." Hyunjin said with a smile. 

As the others agreed, Jisung was slightly staring at the man he almost kissed again. The man in question looked back. Once. Before promptly avoiding his gaze the rest of the walk to the food place. 

⚖

They managed to locate a cheap enough fast food place (rhymes with mcsmonalds) and sat themselves at a big enough booth. 

"Jisungs buying today!" Changbin said brightly.

Jisung in return shot him his best death glare. 

"Oh really? Why?" Hyunjin asked inquisitively. 

"Oh um, just thought I'd be nice today." Jisung bullshitted. 

Changbin then proceeded to order an ungodly amount of food. If he was gonna get something out of this he was gonna use it fully. It didnt help that he hadn't eaten today. Again.

His funds were low, and he had rent to pay. What was he supposed to do? Of course he didnt want to tell his friends. It was embarrassing enough to have to work three jobs. He didnt want anymore pity than necessary from his friends. 

When the food arrived he started wolfing it down like there was no tomorrow. Man, he really liked McBurgers. As he ate he could practically see the tension between Hyunjin, Minho and Jisung. The latter two having not spared a glance to each other let alone a word since whatever happened in the changing room, happened. 

He really couldnt stand seeing his friends fight. He didnt want something to happen to the group so he decided to fill the awkward tension.

"So are you guys excited about the party?"

Jisungs head shot up at this. 

"Oh yeah! Oh man I havent been to a party in ages." He said, stars practically in his eyes. 

"How did we even get invited to Jaehyuns party?"

"My friend Jeno's gonna be there." Hyunjin replied. 

"What's everyone gonna wear?"

"Hhmmm I'm thinking a simple outfit this time. I dont know if I can pull off something too extra, you know?" Felix offered up. 

"Whatever you wear you're gonna look cute." Changbin said to the younger beside him. Felix just smiled, embarrassed, and a faint pink tint started on his ears.

"Really? Right in front of my salad?" Jising said from across him. 

"You're eating an extra cheese double McWhopper Jisung. I'd hardly call that a salad." Changbin replied. "Besides, aren't you all for romance. I recall you talking to me about a certain person who makes your heart flutter" He said with an over sweet tone, batting his eyelashes.

Jisung shot him a warning glance, as Hyunjin looked on curiously. Minho seeming slightly too uninterested to actually be uninterested. 

"Changbin."

"What?"

"I'm paying for your food."

"Right." 

Changbin didnt say anything about it after that, as the conversation moved on to other things. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont really like how this chapter ended but I didnt have time to rewrite it :( 
> 
> I have so many ideas on certain scenes I want to add into this story but in order to get there I need to have sort of filler I guess. Idk. And I'm trying my best to have a perspective of each member but aaaaah I'm not good at that sorrrryyyyyy.


	9. A Song

Jisung stood in front of the mirror, holding up two shirts, switching between the two indecisively. 

"Sung you've been at that for the past 10 minutes, just pick the white one." Chan said from his place on the youngers bed. 

The orange blonde boy was currently fretting over whether he should go with a more classy look, or his fail safe eboy aesthetic. 

"Hey, you cant say shit. You've worn that shirt for the last three times we've gone out." Jisung said in reference to the simple outfit of a black shirt and black jeans that was currently on the older boy. 

"Some of us actually have to try."

Chan just rolled his eyes. 

"What are you trying to impress someone Sungie?" He said teasingly poking the others side.

"Hey cut it out!" Jisung said defensively, his cheeks turning warm. 

Chans joking smile turned to a shocked expression.

"Wait what? You actually like someone?" He said sitting up properly as Jisung just went into his closet to find a pair of jeans to go with the simple white t shirt he picked. 

"I... its whatever." He said dismissively.

"Han Jisung!" Chan said a smile spreading across his face as he threw a pillow at the younger.

"Who is it?"

"Psh as if I'm gonna tell you." Jisungs cheeks were really starting to blush now. Screw his bodies reactions.

"Is it someone I know?" Chan asked inquisitively.

Jisung hesitated slightly in his movements.

"Oh my god it is!" Chan gasped dramatically. 

"Ugh fine yes, it is." Jisung turned around, abandoning his efforts of finding a good outfit. 

He picked up the thrown pillow and sat on the bed in front of his friend. Chan just bit his tounge, waiting patiently. 

"Its... Minho." Jisung said quietly as he fiddled with the pillow in his lap. 

Chans jaw physically dropped as he processed the information. 

"You're kidding right?"

Jisung just shook his head slightly.

"I thought you guys hated each other?" Chan said blunty. "Although sexual tension can always lead somewhere."

It was Jisungs turn to throw a pillow at Chan. 

"Oh my god, why does everyone say that?!" Jisung said emphasising the last three words with a hit of the soft pillow. 

"Well I'm not gonna lie to you, everyone could see it." Chan said through his laugh as Jisung continued his assault with the pillow. 

"Shut up!" The younger said as he gave in and started laughing as well. 

His hits softened and eventually they both ended up lying next each other as their laughter faded. 

"We made up, after the fight." Jsiung finally said. "We found out we were next door neighbor's and I guess we decided to just, start over. I dont even know if he's actually interested."

"Hmm, well, do you really like him?"

"Well, I dont even know if it's a proper crush, or if hes just a good kisser."

"Hold up hold up hold up. You guys kissed?" Chan said sitting up turning to face Jisung, who just continued to stare straight up at the ceiling. 

"Well, it was like, a year ago, and we haven't even talked about it."

"Wait what? You guys already knew each other?" Chan asked now extremely confused. 

"Okay let me just, explain everything. From the start." Jisung said as he sat up. 

He then proceed to go on a long rant about the whole situation they were in. The kiss last summer, how Minho was acting towards him and how they made up. He gestured wildly while explaining everything dramatically.

Chan just nodded along.

"Anyway like two days ago we're all at the shopping centre and everyone went to go get slushies while me and him are left in the changing room." The younger boy continued. 

"Basically he gets stuck in a jumper and I helped him. And then there was this really intense moment where he was like, about to kiss me. But Hyunjin just HAD to walk in at that time. And we havent spoken since then." Jisung finally finished as he flopped back on the bed and took a deep breath.

Chan just stayed where he was, trying to process all this information. 

"And... you think... hes uninterested?"

Jisung nodded.

"Sung' he literally tried to kiss you."

Jisung pursed his lips.

"But what if- what if he just felt like he had to in that situation. He hasn't even tried to talk to me since." He said, hands messing with a corner of the pillow.

"Listen. I dont know much about Minho but he seems to be the type of person where if he didnt want to do something, he wouldnt."

The younger boy didnt answer, instead he sighed and got off the bed, returning to his messy closet to pick up where he left off. 

"Okay you know what?" 

"What." Jisung said quietly.

"Just for today, for this party. Try and forget about him. Go makeout with whoever you want, just have fun." Chan said in his best attempt to cheer up his friend. 

Jisung thought about it, and then shook himself free of his heavy thoughts. He turned to his friend with a smile on his face.

"You're right. Tonight, is all about me."

"Well, that's not what I-"

"Just roll with it Chan. Just roll with it."

⚖

Minho skipped a song in his playlist for the 7th time.

"Oh my god hyung, just pick a song." Hyunjin said from the drivers seat.

"We need to have the right vibe though." Minho said as he skipped 2 more songs.

"I agree, the music is very crucial for the vibe of the night." Jeongin spoke up from the backseat, squished between Seungmin and Felix.

"Ugh whatever." Hyunjin said, rolling his eyes.

Minho finally stopped skipping and decided on a song. 

"How are Jisung, Chan, and Changbin getting there?" Seungmin asked as UN Village by Baekhyun played from the car radio.

"Chan and Jisung are getting a taxi and Changbin cant make it, hes working." Felix said, a slight sad tone to his voice creeping in towards the end of his sentence. 

"Aw Lix' dont be down, you can still have fun on your own. Just be careful not to accidently kiss someone behind your boyfriends back." Seungmin said playfully teasing. 

"Hey, number one, hes not my boyfriend. Number two, that only happened once, and we weren't even going out." Felix replied defensively.

"Seungmin stop being a bully." Hyunjin said sternly before putting his eyes back on the road in front of him.

"Well, if he's not your boyfriend what are you guys?" Jeongin asked.

Felix hesitated there.

"I don't know, were just... a thing, I guess."

"Huh, are you guys exclusive?"

"Hmmm, I dont know. We havent really talked about anything yet." Felix said turning his gaze out the window.

"That's not healthy~" Seungmin said sing-songy.

"Hey look who's talk-" Felix started,

"Can we please not fight today?" Jeongin cut in with a quiet voice. 

The two older boys immediately stopped in their arguement. No matter how many times they wouldn't get along they both shared a mutual love for the youngest. 

As a tense silence settled over the car, Jeongin leaned into his boyfriend and had a quiet conversation through whispers as the song played out concealing it from the others. 

"Minho." Hyunjin said cutting through th awkwardness."Why didn't you go with Jisung? You guys live next to each other right?" 

Minho just looked a bit dazed, trying his best to collect himself. His mind already reeling from hearing his friends talk so openly about boyfriends and not boyfriends. It was a bit of culture shock compared to his friend group. 

He processed Hyunjins question but still hesitated. The memory of Jisung's face an inch front of him, his eyes fluttering close, flashing in his mind. Then the awkward stares afterwards. He remembered the hurt, confused expression the younger boy wore after the group had rejoined. It was a reflection of the one he wore that summer night a year ago.

"Minho?"

He was brought out of his memories by Hyunjins voice and the feeling of four curious pairs of eyes on him.

"Oh, um." He clears his throat nervously. "We havent really talked lately, I guess." Not a complete lie.

"Hm." Hyunjin replied, looking sideways at his friend. 

After a while the conversation seemed to come back between Hyunjin and Jeongin. Minho just let it fade to background noise. A more comfortable mood returned to the car as they neared their destination.

"Okay we're here." Hyunjin said, parking the car.

With the radio turned off Minho could hear the loud pop music coming from the large house in front of them. He could see the colourful lights through the windows turning the lawn into a kaleidoscope. He saw people outside, either chatting, smoking, or making out. He missed the party atmosphere, it was comforting to him, it's what he needed right now. 

Minho was unbuckling his seatbelt when Hyunjin spoke up once again.

"Right, before we start the night, here's some rules."

"And here comes Mom mode." Seungmin said under his breath.

"First of all, buddy systems in place. Stick together, and if you decide to go off with a stranger, please tell someone who it is and where you're going." Hyunjin said with a stern voice.

"Yeah yeah whatever." Seungmin replied as everyone start exiting the car. Hyunjin continued.

"And second of all, watch your drinks, keep an eye on your friends and if you feel like passing out tell someone." He finished.

Seungmin just rolled his eyes as he and Jeongin started walking up the driveway hand in hand, Felix following a bit behind, still sulking. 

"Oh wait! One more thing!" Hyunjin yelled after them. 

They stopped and begrudgingly turned around to listen.

"Have fun." Hyunjin said with a grin. 

There was a collective groan as they turned back around. 

"That was so cheesy hyung." Seungmin said teasingly, a small smile spreading on Felix's face.

As they all entered the house Hyunjin locked the car and then skipped up to where Minho was waiting for him. 

"Are you nervous?" Hyunjin asked as he linked his arms with the older.

"Nah, not nervous, more excited." He replied as they started walking into to the house, passing many couples and groups of stoners. 

They passed a room that seemed to have the most concentration of people. The speakers seemed to be playing some sort of EDM house music, the majority of the people in there were dancing to the music. You could hardly see the middle of the room because of how tightly everyone was packed together.

They made their way into what seemed to be a living room, it also seemed to be the main source of alcohol. They nearest neared the table covered in drinks and Minho saw some familiar faces. 

"Hey guys! Glad you could make it!" Hyunjin half yelled as they approached Chan and Jisung. 

Minho was expecting Jisung to have the same questioning expression as when they last saw each other but instead, to his surprise, the younger boy just gave him a bright smile. A small, hesitant smile crept onto Minhos face in return. 

Jisung greeted Hyunjin with a trademark hug and as Hyunjin turned to talk to Chan, that's when Jisung turned to Minho and also gave him a hug. 

Minho was complety caught off guard and just stood motionless for a few moments as Jisung squeezed him tight. He caught the smell of alcohol and strawberries, though he assumed the latter was a shampoo or something. 

As Jisung let him go he spoke up.

"Hey! I'm glad you came!" There was still a giant smile on his face.

"Oh, yeah. Me too." Minho answered awkwardly.

He still didnt know how to talk to the younger after their changing room incident. But seeing as the boy was a bit drunk and obviously didnt think it was a big deal, he decided to try and let loose a bit.

He reached over to the various bottles of booze and started pouring a mix into his cup as the music blared. As he was finishing making his drink Jisung spoke up again.

"So how are you?" He asked gingerly.

"Good I suppose." Minho replied, still incredibly awkward. Why was Jisung acting as if nothing happened? Did anything actually happen between them in the first place?

"Hm, that's good." Jisung said to no one in particular, looking out to the room. 

People seemed to be dancing here as well. Not as much as the other room but there was still enough to melt into the crowd.

Minho turned to the same direction, drink in hand. He looked at the younger who was observing the crowd in front of them. He couldnt help himself from staring at his cute cheeks, and his cute blush, and his cute hair. Everything about him was just so, well, cute. 

"...this song!" Is what he managed to catch from Jisungs sentence as the younger turned to him. 

"Huh?" Minho replied as he was brought put of his stare. 

"I said do you want to dance, I love this song!" The other practically yelled.

Everything in Minhos body was telling him to decline. That was possibly the worst thing he could do with a drunk Jisung. It couldnt end well at all.

"Yeah sure." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasnt beta read cuz I didnt have time so sorry if the pacing off :(((


	10. A Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I posted this late I got distracted by chans room :)
> 
> I listened to to the neighborhood a lot writing this chapter idk if that helps the mood :)

Jisung reached out and took Minhos hand gently, leading him to the makeshift dance floor. A little part of his brain was telling him not to do this but it was drowned out by the shots him and Chan had taken earlier. 

As the music blared they found themselves in the middle of the crowd, hidden by bodies and neon lights, Jisung looked at Minhos face. He noticed how his eyes were darting around and how his hands were hovering awkwardly.

"What's wrong? I thought you were a dancer?" He asked curiously, as his body started swaying to the music. 

"I am, I just- I'm not to dancing with someone else." Jisung barely heard him say over the music. 

"Well let's start slow then." He stated as he reached for the olders hands once again. "First put your hands here."

He placed the others hands gently on his waist. He looked back up to his face to make sure this was okay. Minhos face was unreadable for now, but not uncomfortable. 

He placed his own hands on the broad shoulders in front of him. They started moving to the music together, gradually becoming in tune with each other. 

Minhos face seemed to relax as the song played on. Jisung noticed a change in how the older seemed to flow with the music, movements more fluid. Minhos eyes closed as the alcohol hit his system and the melody hit his eardrums. He felt himself gain more confidence minute by minute. 

Jisung just watched on as the other seemed to be in his element. Minho looked beautiful with the neon lights reflecting off the thin layer of sweat caused by the humidity of everyone in the room. He watched the way with each movement, he seemed to channel the music though his body. It was mesmerising. 

He closed his eyes as well, the weight of Minhos now more assured grip on his waist grounding him. He felt bliss, maybe in part because of the alcohol but either way, a good feeling. He felt a shadow fall on his face and warmth reflect on his skin. He opened his eyes to see Minhos face inches away from him.

They both continued to sway to the music as they observed each other. Minho didnt look anywhere but the youngers eyes. As their gaze locked Jisung saw there was no look of lust in his eyes. It was more, fascination. Observement. He felt, for the first time in a long time, that someone was really seeing him. 

"Is this okay?" 

He felt Minhos breathe ghost across his face as he heard the genuine tone of the question. 

Jisung looked at the older boy, inches away from him. He had never felt such a connection with anyone like this before. The only way to describe it was, right. This felt right. 

He nodded slightly, closing his eyes again as he leaned his head on the olders shoulder, their bodys getting closer.

Minho, in turn, wrapped his arms loosely around the other. He took a deep breath, catching a whiff of the familiar strawberry shampoo. He felt comfortable, for the first time in a while. He felt relaxed. 

Both of their states of bliss lessened slightly as the music around them quietened down. 

"Guys! Let's play truth or dare!" Somebody shouted from the room. 

⚖

As people started to swarm around the centre of the room Minho felt the weight of Jisung on his shoulder lessen. The younger looked up at him, the music was faint but still there, their bodies still close. The was a glint of something wild in the others eyes. Something exciting. 

"I dont feel like playing truth or dare. Do you wanna go somewhere more quieter?"

Minho was still a bit dazed from the alcohol and the close proximity. Maybe it was also in part to how relaxed the younger made him, maybe not. He nodded his head lazily at the question.

A heart shaped smile and the pull on his hand was what he got in return as Jisung led him out of the room. He passed Hyunjin and Chan who were sitting on on the couch waiting for the game to start. As he was dragged past them Hyunjin spotted them. He smiled at Minho and then noticed the hands linked to him. His smile faltered for a second before returning his gaze to the circle of people in front of him. 

_What was that?_ Minho thought for a second before his thought got cut off once again by the voice of Han Jisung.

"Minho c'mon hurry up." He said through giggles as he turned back to tug his hand, walking backwards for a few steps. 

Whatever he was worried about before he didnt know because that smile immediately wiped his brain clean. He sped up keeping up with the excited younger boy. 

They passed the packed living room again, Minho not talking any notice, too focused on the mop of orange-blonde in front of him. They reached the front door but instead of going through, they turned to the staircase and ventured up the grand stairs, somehow still packed with people chatting and drinking. 

Even squeezing between the sweaty bodies, not once did their hands let go. Jisung always held on tight, Minho always followed. 

They got up to the first floor which was decidedly less crowded, only about a dozen people up here, most looking for a bathroom. But instead of stopping there they continued up a second staircase.

The second floor was completely empty and the music was muffled, just a memory from the sweaty crowd below them.

"I've been to almost all of Jaehyuns parties." Jisung said leading them down a hallway, ignoring all the rooms on their sides. He chuckled. "I know this house better than I know my own."

They stopped in front of a small door, about 3/4 the height of Minho. Jisung let go of Minhos hand to unlatch the handle and Minho immediately felt an absence of warmth, despite not even realizing they were still touching. 

"Actually," he stated as he wiggled the rusty hook out of the latch, "Hyunjin found this place first. And then everyone in the group eventually found out about it."

With a click the door swung open and Minho felt the cool air coming from it. Jisung easily fit through by just crouching slightly.

Minho hesitated, judging the best way to go about this. 

He settled for wiggling through crouched as best as he could. 

As he exited onto the roof area he realized why only a few people knew about this. 

The space was hardly 2.5 metres by 3 metres but there was a stack of pillows and blankets on the side under a small canopy. There were fairy lights across the two parts of the roof, casting the space in a soft pink glow. It looked like a scene out of a teen coming of age movie. 

But the area wasnt the most beautiful thing here, the view. 

The view.

You could see above the trees that surrounded Jaehyuns estate. You could see the blinking city lights in the distance, which seemed a world away from here. The night sky seemed endless, and for once since he moved to this busy city, Minho could see the stars. 

As he took all this in he heard a small giggle and a voice that brought him back to reality.

"Yeah it has that effect on people."

"Its beautiful." Minho said half whispered as he felt the cool air drying the sweat on his skin left behind from the dancefloor which seemed a lifetime ago. 

He shivered slightly, just in his plain white t shirt, sleeves rolled up. He got hit in the face with a soft fluffy mass which he soon realized was a blanket. He pulled it off his head and looked at Jisung who already had his own wrapped around his shoulders. 

"It gets pretty cold up here."

Minho pulled his own blanket around his shoulders as he watched the younger fish something out of his pocket. He glimpsed a metal box.

"Have you ever smoked?" Jisung asked, opening the box and taking a pinch of something green between his fingers. 

Minho nodded.

Jisung easily started rolling a joint as if he had done this several times, which he probably has. 

As he finished they both scooted closer to each other to share it. 

They turned, bodies facing each other as Jisung took out a lighter. He leaned closer and put the joint slowly between Minhos lips. The older let him, as Jisung light the lighter up against the joint. Minho sucked as it lit up, feeling the smoke infiltrate his lungs. He didnt take a deep breathe yet, he wanted to take it slow. 

He noticed Jisungs large eyes, looking on with want. Whether the puppy eyes were intentional or not, he gave in. He picked up the joint between two fingers and moved it towards the younger boy, placing it in between the others lips, a mirror of the previous action.

Minho, however, didn't let go of the joint as the other sucked a breath full of it. Only when Jisung let out a slow puff of smoke did he take it back. He didnt take a hit again yet, just let it sit between his fingers by his side.

They could faintly hear the music blaring from whatever expensive speakers Jaehyun had installed downstairs. This felt like a different world. The effects of the joint starting to kick in a bit, Minho openly stared at the boy in front of him, who was now looking to the side, to the view of the city.

Jisung turned his head back to him and he didnt even try to pretend like he wasnt staring. The younger had a contemplative look in his eyes before he decided to move slightly closer to Minho. His legs crossed in between Minhos opened legs, knees touching. 

A voice in Minhos head told him this was dangerous, but he didnt want to listen to it just yet, he was too relaxed at this moment. Although it seemed Jisung was far more relaxed, his eyes had this half lidded gaze and he was staring distantly at a freckle on Minhos nose.

"Did you know you have a freckle on your nose." He practically whispered.

"Mhm."

"Its cute."

"Thank you."

Minho brought the joint to his lips again, this time taking a deeper breath, letting it hit every crevice in his lungs. He let out a breath and Jisung inhaled some of smoke that had been around him. 

Minho placed the joint in the youngers mouth again, repeating their previous routine. Jisung took a hit and let it sit for a while. 

"If you told me a week ago," he said as he breathed smoke out, "that I would be getting high with you on a rooftop at a party, I would have laughed at you." 

"You already laugh at me." Minho said with a playful smile.

"Hey, I'm not mean." Jisung said through a lazy giggle as he lightly pushed the olders arm. 

"You just hit me." Minho softly chuckled. 

"Sorry." The younger said with a small smile. 

Minhos smile faded a bit at that.

"You know, I never apologized." 

Jisung just cocked his head curiously, his hands unintentionally playing with the rips in thighs of the others jeans.

"I wasnt that nice to you when we first met again." Mingo stated as he focused on the collar of the youngers shirt.

"I guess I was just scared. You were the only one who knew... my secret." The end of his sentence fading into a whisper.

He looked back up at the younger, who's eyes were slightly reddened. Jisung paused for a moment, still fiddling with the others jeans. 

"Its okay hyung. I get it." He said softly, eyes genuine. 

"So we're okay?" Minho asked quietly.

"We're okay." Jisung replied with a soft smile. 

Minho saw his gaze flit to his own lips and then back up to his eyes. He saw his eyes flutter shut as he slowly leaned in.

⚖

Jisung had never been so sure of anything than this moment. It was just, right. He closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss the older boy in front of him. What he wasnt expecting, was feel a finger against his lips.

He opened his eyes, inches away from Minho, who's expression was unreadable. His finger was gently pressed against his own lips, preventing him from what he wanted. He was practically on the other boys lap now. 

Both frozen in this strange position, Minho spoke up first.

"Jisung," he said taking his finger away from the others lips, who still stayed in his position, mere centimetres away from his face, "I'm not ready." 

Jisung blinked. 

"What?" He said in a small voice. "B-but I thought we were good?" 

"We are... but i still have stuff to figure out."

Only now did jisung start to move from his spot. He slowly leaned away from the older scooting back from him. 

"I only accepted the fact I was gay, this week." Minho stated with a heavy breath.

Jisung just looked at him, hurt flashing behind his eyes for a split second.

"I'm sorry, I just cant right now." Minho said apologetically.

"I-its okay, I get it." Jisung said avoiding the others gaze, standing up.

He shed his blanket and moved to the small door. 

"Jisung." 

"No it's okay, honestly." The younger said with a smile, as he crouched through the door. Minho knew it was a fake smile, he saw through him.

Jisung stopped on the other side fo the door. 

"I'm uh, gonna get a drink."

Minho just nodded slightly, signalling he heard. 

This time it was Minhos turn to watch Jisung walk away. He felt his heart break at the hurt look in the others eyes. How come these situations always ended in them getting hurt and someone walking away. 

He layed back in the small area of roof, looking up to the stars, the muffled music filtering through the floors. The feeling bliss seemingly washed away in less than 30 seconds. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope u guys liked it! And as usual sorry for the cliffhanger.


	11. A Drink (or two)

Jisung walked down the empty hallway to the stairs and Minhos words were repeating in his head. How could he have been so dumb, obviously Minho wasnt ready, what if he was putting pressure on him, the last thing he wanted was to make Minho uncomfortable. He felt like such a shit person right now. His breathing started speeding up and he felt the tell tales signs of a panic attack coming on, it didnt help there was too many people around him as he made his way down to the ground floor.

He pushed past people, he just needed to get outside, once he was outside, away from everybody he would be okay, right?

"Jisung are-" he heard Hyunjins voice as he passed him but he honestly didnt want to talk to anyone right now, especially Hyunjin. He loved him, but he just wasnt what he needed right now. 

He pushed past the older ones grip and squeezed his way outside. He didnt stop there, he kept walking into the woods that surrounded Jaehyuns house. As his walking sped up, almost to a run, his breath became raggedy and he could feel the tears welling up behind his eyes. 

He finally stopped his fast pace as he got to a barren rock, his lungs felt like they were on fire. His legs gave out and he sat on the rock, trying the catch his breath, but the more he tried to breathe the harder it got. He clutched his shirt tightly as if that would unconstrict his throat. A few sobs broke through as the weight of this past week fell down on him. 

He felt so lost, so worthless. He knew he was getting more out of touch with his friends and he could tell they kept walking on egg shells around him since his drunk outburst at Minho. It made him feel helpless, like he was an outcast. 

He lowered his head into his hands, letting the tears fall freely, his breath shaky. 

"Jisung are you okay?" 

At the sound of a voice his head whipped up and around, he spotted Hyunjin walking towards him, twigs cracking under his feet.

He turned his head away from him and quickly wiped the tears off of his face as if that would fool the older.

"Y-yeah I'm fine." He said willing his voice not to crack.

"What happened?" Hyunjin said gently as he reached his friend and crouched to his level. 

"Nothing, its fine." 

Hyunjin put his hand on the others shoulder.

"Jisung-" 

"I said I'm fine." Jisung cut in, pushing the hand away. He could feel the annoyance bubbling under his skin. He knew his friend was just trying to help, but he really just wanted to be alone right now.

"Hey, just talk to me." Hyunjin said.

Jisung stood up now. "Listen, I dont need you to _fix_ everything for me!" he said, voice raising.

"I'm just trying to help." Hyunjin said defensively, also standing up at this point.

"Well, I dont need your help!" Jisung yelled. "I'm not a child!"

"I never said you were! What's your problem?"

" _My problem?!_ " Jisung said before taking a deep breathe. "My _problem_ , is that I need to be alone right now, and I cant do that if you're coddling me every five seconds!"

"Jisung I think you should calm down-"

"I DONT NEED TO FUCKING CALM DOWN!" Jisung yelled as all the anger and pent up hurt flowed over. He spun to the tree beside him and swung his fist as hard as he could at it. There was a loud crunch as the dead bark split where his fist conncected with it.

That was going to hurt tomorrow.

He panted as he felt the blood flow to his damaged knuckles. With every breath they slowed down. He leaned his forehead against the tree, next to the indent he had made. He just wanted this night to be over. 

There was a surprisingly calm silence that settled over them as Hyunjin stood unmoving, his face blank, as if he expected this. There were no birds chirping, no stream flowing, no fairytale shit in these woods, just two friends and an innocent tree.

"Jisu-"

Hyunjin tried to say but he got cut off by his phone ringing. He sighed and checked who it was.

Jisung pushed himself off the tree and shook his fist, as if that would help. He turned and looked at his friend with tired eyes, left over anger still simmering behind them. 

The anger faded slightly when he saw Hyunjins panicked expression as the older listened to whoever was on the phone with him. Jisung didnt tune into whatever they were saying, his brain too fried from alcohol, drugs, and arguments. 

As Hyunjin hung up the phone Jisung noticed his stony expression. There was the mask Jisung was so familiar with.

"I need to go now." He stated icily. "Felix is in trouble. You can come with me and help him, or you can continue your temper tantrum, your choice." 

Jisung was caught off guard by the tone of voice, Hyunjin had never been this cold to him before. At least it wasnt fake or pretending anymore, that was an improvement.

Hyunjin walked past him, blank expression, and continued the direction of the house.

Jisung watched him go for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and following. 

⚖

Felix walked into the house a bit behind Seungmin and Jeongin, still sulking, the earlier conversation in the car left him in a sour mood. 

Of course they wouldnt understand him, he thought as he eyed their linked hands. They always had each other, they were always sure of each other. Him and Changbin werent even serious. A small part of him wanted to be, wanted to be committed to each other, to be able to trust each other completely. But another part of him panicked at just the thought of it. He pushed both of those feelings down as he walked into the living room, where it seemed most of the party was happening.

He looked around and sighed as he thought about his much more fun this would be with Changbin. 

"What's got a pretty face like yours looking so sad?" A voice said from behind him. 

He turned and there was a tall man next to him. He was used to men and women flirting with him at every party and most of the time he enjoye it, it was fun. Sure he got a few creeps but he usually got Seungmin to tell them to fuck off.

Oh. 

Seungmin. 

For a moment he forgot their fight.

"And there you go again with the frown again." The man said, pulling him out of his thoughts.

Felix just looked at him and weighed his options.

"I'm Jaehyun." The man said offering his hand to shake. He stopped leaning against the wall and stood straight, practically towering over Felix with his full height.

The man, Jaehyun, flashed him a smile waiting for him to respond.

Felix paused, a little starstruck over the mans good looks. 

"F-Felix." He managed to spill out as he gingerly shook Jaehyuns hand.

"You look like you need a drink Felix. Do you want mine?" He offered kindly.

"Oh um- yeah, thank you." 

Jaehyun laughed at that, a deep hearty laugh. 

"No need to be so polite, it may be my party but I promise you I'm chill." He said, smile never wavering.

"Oh sorry." Felix chuckled out before taking a swig of the drink. 

It burned his throat slightly but he didnt mind, he chugged it like water.

"Whoa whoa slow down." Jaehyun said lowering the cup from the youngers mouth.

"Who are you trying to forget? Is your boyfriend a dick or something?"

Changbin went through Felix's mind for a split second, seungmins comments as well.

He decided tonight, he was going to enjoy himself.

Fuck Changbin, fuck Seungmin, fuck jeongins perfect relationship. 

"I actually dont have a boyfriend." He said in a sweet voice, plastering on an innocent smile.

"Oh really? How is someone like you single?" Jaehyun asked with a smirk.

"Someone like me?" Felix said in a coy tone. "Are you calling me ugly?"

Jaehyun laughed at that again. 

"No not ugly, the opposite. You're probably the prettiest person here."

"That's so cheesy." Felix snorted before talking another sip of the vodka in his cup.

As their conversation continued Jaehyun made him laugh, telling him stories of previous parties, how he wasnt even going to have this one, his friend convinced him. Their conversation flowed naturally, both over the top flirting, yet not actually making any moves. 

Eventually they both decided to go to the kitchen, Jaehyun said he knew where the good liquor was. Felix jumped up to sit on a counter as Jaehyun searched a high cupboard. When he returned he poured some of the seemingly expensive whiskey in their cups. 

"Are you sure we can drink this?" Felix giggled. "It seems expensive." He dragged out that last word. The previous cup of vodka starting to hit him.

"Ah dont worry about it, it's my parents." Jaehyun replied non chalantly and he took a sip.

Felix looked at him with curious eyes as he sipped his own.

"What is it?" Jaehyun asked.

"What is what." Felix asked innocently.

"You look you have a question."

At that Felix put down his cup and reached over to Jaehyuns. He grabbed the cup and slowly put on the table, all while keeping eye contact with the man. Even though he was sitting on the counter the other boy was still a good two inches taller than him.

As they music played on he placed his hand, gently cupping the olders face. Jaehyun just smiled slightly, amused by his actions. Felix moved his face closer so they were only centimetres apart. He slowly closed the gap as his eyes shut and their lips met.

It was a soft kiss, a question. It ended just as quickly as it started. 

He pulled away from Jaehyun slowly, eyes still closed. As he felt the others breath he opened his eyes to find the other staring with his eyes hooded and his signature smirk, although a bit softer.

"Do you want to dance?" Jaehyun whispered.

"Yeah." Felix said with a small smile and blush spreading across his cheeks. 

He hopped off the counter and Jaehyun led him by the hand to the living room. 

As the music played around them Jaehyun twirled the younger once before holding his waist flush against him. Felix just giggled and put his arms around the others neck. Jaehyun leaned down to kiss him again and this time it was a bit more needy. He could taste the whiskey but he didnt know if that was his tounge or Jaehyuns.

They broke the kiss again, both smiling. Felix felt unnerved for a second, the feeling of someone watching him. He looked past Jaehyun who was now gently kissing his neck. His smile faded as he saw Seungmin and Jeongins disappointed expressions from across the room. 

His heart sank as he realized what he was doing. Jaehyun noticed his change in body language and straightened up to look at him. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, concern lining his voice.

"Y-yeah, I just need to sit down for a bit." He said, slightly slurred. 

It wasnt a complete lie, the earlier two cups of vodka had definitly caught up now. With the buzz faded he just felt the drunkenness now.

"Okay, here, we'll go to the other room, its quieter." Jaehyun offered.

"Thanks." Felix said quietly as his limbs started to feel disconnected. Everything seemed to be outside of himself. He didnt process him and Jaehyun even making it to the hallway before he started stumbling over himself.

"Whoa, you really drank a lot. C'mon only little bit more."

"M' fine." Felix mumbled.

He barely registered being in a different room until he felt a bit lighter and realized he was being lowered to a couch.

"Did you come with any friends?" Jaehyun asked as he removed Felix's arm from around his shoulder from when he supported the younger boy in moving.

Felix didn't answer, he just blinked slowly, his eyes barely opening.

"Hey stay with me here. Who did you come here with?" He vaguely heard Jaehyun say.

"Seungmin." He mumbled out quietly.

"Okay, now you you need to stay awake huh?" Jaehyun said, his hand cupping Felix's face.

Felix looked at his arm and then up to his face slowly.

"Alright?" Jaehyun repeated quietly.

Felix registered that he was waiting for an answer and he tried his best to nod.

"Okay good."

He saw Jaehyun motion to his friend to come over. 

"...get Seungmin..." is all he heard.

He watched the friend leave and go to the direction of the living room. He remembered seeing Seungmins face and all he felt was hurt, and disappointment in himself. Without realizing tears had started flowing.

"Hey why are you crying huh?" Jaehyun said kindly as he wiped the tears of the youngers face.

"I-I messed up." Felix slurred.

"Its okay, dont worry." Jaehyun offered with a smile.

"M' sorry Changbin." 

Jaehyuns smile faltered there but it returned just as fast.

"Its alright." He said softly.

Felix's eyes felt so heavy, he saw a blurry figure that looked like Seungmin run up to him and he saw his mouth moving with words that he couldnt hear as everything faded to black.

⚖

Hyunjin walked past Jisung calmly, but on the inside he was anything but. Memories flashing behind his eyelids anytime they closed, taunting him.

-

_Hyunjin held Minho tight as he cried into his shirt. He knew what he was going through. It took him a while to accept his sexuality as well. He never figured his friend to be gay. It gave him a spark of hope that someday, something could come of this._

_He mentally scolded himself for thinking about stuff like that when his friend was vulnerable with him. He went back to stroking his hair and whispered words of comfort._

_-_

_Hyunjin grabbed Minho by the hand and led him to the main room where the rest of his friends were. The small act of skinship lit up his heart more than he would like to admit. He introduced the boy to his friend group and prayed they got along, this might be important in the future. He noticed the tight grip and gave his friend a reassuring smile. In return he got a shy smile back._

_God how he would give anything to keep him smiling._

_-_

_He watched as Minho and Jisung exchanged greetings in the form of blushes and smiles. Something in his head turned sour, silently wishing this wasn't the start of a new friendship. He shook those thoughts away as he realized what he had been thinking. Minho was allowed to have friends, of course, he had introduced him to group after all._

_But something about the way they looked at each made Hyunjins heart drop a little._

_But it was okay._

_They were just friends right?_

_-_

_Hyunjin waited with Felix and Changbin at the slushy stand. Those two had been in the changing rooms for a while. It didnt take that long to try on jeans right?_

_He decided to go in to check because he needed to make sure nothing bad had happened. That was the only reason._

_As he pulled open the curtain his world stopped for a second._

_There they were, inches apart, eyes half closed, Minho shirtless for gods sake. His blood froze and he could feel something break in his heart._

_But he didnt have time to dwell on it because Jisung immediately fled away from the scene of the crime, and Minho was currently on the verge of a panic attack. Above all he needed his friend to be okay._

_He could cry into his pillow later._

_-_

_Hyunjin sat next to Chan on the sofa and sipped his drink. As somebody called for a game of truth or dare a small bit of him hoped it might lead somewhere with a certain dark haired boy._

_He searched the room with his eyes and found him walking in the direction of the door. God, he looked so good tonight, Hyunjin couldnt help but drink the sight in._

_He saw the boy look his way and upon seeing his face he gave him a bright smile, about to ask if he would join the game. That's when his gaze wandered to his hand, his hand that was currently intertwined with a certain orange-blond boy._

_Hyunjins smile dropped slightly. This is really not what he needed tonight. He turned back to the circle that had started forming for the game and tuned out whatever Chan was rambling on about. His mind filling with possibilities after seeing a tipsy Minho walk off hand in hand with a drunk Jisung at a party._

-

And here he was now, having to put up with a pissy Jisung as his night just got worse.

Sure he may have had a few salty feelings about Jisung after everything that happened with Minho, but it wasnt enough to affect their friendship. After all Jisung didnt know Hyunjin had feelings for Minho, nobody did.

But his little outburst just gave Hyunjin an excuse to actually let out his frustration for being second choice. He knew he was gonna regret it in the morning but right now he was too stressed to care.

He loved his friends, so much, too much. But sometimes it was overbearing having to take care of everyone all the time. 

He just wanted someone to take care of him for once.

His eyes filled with tears as this weighed down on him, but he quickly wiped them, hoping Jisung, who was mopily trailing behind him, wouldnt notice.

At this point they were close enough to see the lights and to hear the music blasting from the house. They walked between a few more trees before eventually making it to the front lawn.

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks a clenched his jaw.

"I'm going to deal with Felix. You get Minho, we're probably going to leave soon." He said calmly. Too calmly.

He saw Jisung pause out of the corner of his eyes.

"I actually dont think that would be a good idea, Minho doesnt want to talk to me right now." 

Maybe it was because he had something to drink or maybe it was because he was angry or maybe it was both, but something in Hyunjin reveled in the fact that Jisung and Minho were back on rocky terms. A little voice in his head told him that he was a shit friend for thinking that but he didnt care right now.

A smirk spread across his face as he fully turned to Jisung. 

"What a shame. Guess I'll get him." 

He glimpsed Jisungs hurt expression before turning to walk into the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the pacing for this chapter ended all over the place. 
> 
> What were thoughts about Hyunjin liking Minho, did u see it coming?
> 
> Ur comments rly motivate me so thank to the lovely people who have commented so far :) <3


	12. A Bench

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of the chapter might be a bit confusing if you havent read my other fic Manic. It wont affect the plot if you dont read it but this chapter would just make a bit more sense if u already read it.
> 
> Also THIS WAS NOT BETAED IM SORRY IF THERES MISTAKES ;-;

Minho looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, his hand shakily felt the bruise forming under his eye and across his nose. He hissed in pain as the contact fired the pain up again. Even wincing hurt. 

He looked at his dry, cracked lips. He resented those lips. Everytime he looked at them the memory of a boy flashed behind his eyes. That boy blinded him, he was too bright. The warmth of him had mutated into a burning heat, one that burnt his tounge and invaded his lungs. He wasnt meant for that light. He was used to the dark, the comforting silence when theres no body to disturb his thoughts. 

He looked at his tired, swollen eyes and despised them. They had somehow seen the boy through the light, and they saw him as beautiful. Every curve of his lips and slope of his face had just fit him. They had seen the look in his round eyes, the look of want, the look of curiosity. And his mind had reflected that want and curiosity.

He looked at himself as a whole. He didnt look strange. He didnt look different. He didnt look as if he had a horrible secret. 

But he did, and his brother had no problem reminding him of it.

He had come home from hanging with friends, smiling, happy for a fleeting moment, before it was ripped from him by his brother finding any excuse to remind him of a part of him that already made him feel sick. 

This time the excuse was:

_What are you smiling for? Did you go make out with your fag boyfriend or something?_

And Minho just took it, he didnt fight back at this point. He took the insults and the yelling, he took the punches and the shoves. He took it until they stopped and his brother got bored.

That's when he dragged himself to the bathroom and locked the door.

Why couldnt he just be normal? Why did he have to be like this. Things would be so much more simpler if he could just be like everybody else. Anger was building up in his veins and tears building up in his eyes, not spilling over yet. Anger at himself for being this way, anger at his brother for not letting him enjoy anything any more, anger at his family for not doing anything and just watching it play out, anger at the soft boy who made him like this.

His anger for himself outweighed everything as he stared into the mirror. He let out a yell at all of these thoughts and cracks webbed the mirror as he swung his fist into it. 

He looked into it and just felt worse. He saw the distorted image of himself, reflecting his true emotions. He knew this is what he looked like, the broken pieces of a boy just trying to put himself back together.

He couldnt stand looking at it anymore so he leaned over the sink as his tears spilled over and ran down his face. He saw them drip into the sink, mixing with the blood currently coming from his knuckles. He looked at the shards of glass in his hand and the pain came in waves. He gritted his teeth and bared it as a sob ripped out of his throat.

He deserved the pain.

He could stand it.

⚖

Minho layed down on the roof, staring at the sky above him. His fingers absent mindedly running over the scars on his right knuckles as he remembered that moment.

He had felt so lost and wrong at that point in time. He almost felt the need to laugh at how far away he is from that version of him. Sure, things aren't perfect now, far from it, but he was starting to accept this side of him more.

And the soft boy. He could see him now. The blinding light turning into a comforting glow, warming his body that had been shunned to the shadows for so long.

He was pulled put of his thoughts as he heard the door opening. He looked over and sat up at the sight of a familiar tall figure.

"Thought I'd find you here." Hyunjin said with a small smile, although something in his voice sounded different, more tired.

He walked over to Minho and sat close next to him, thighs touching. Minho welcomed the contact and leaned his head on the others shoulder.

"You okay? Jisung said you guys fought or something." He heard Hyunjin ask quietly over the muffled music still coming from downstairs.

Minho slightly frowned at that. Jisung thought that was a fight? He didnt mean for it to come off that way. He felt bad over the fact that he didnt stop himself from getting closer to the younger when he knew nothing would come of it. Although now, with the absence of Jisung he felt uncomfortable, the need for his comforting presence weighing on him in this strange place.

"We didn't fight, I dont think so anyway." 

Hyunjin hummed as a response to that. 

"What about you? Why did you come up here?" 

Hyunjin didnt respond at first, just sighing heavily.

"I needed a small break from everyone."

There was a small silence before it was broken once more by Hyunjin.

"We're leaving soon. Felix had too much to drink." 

Minho noticed the lack of the usual empathy with the taller boy, instead being replaced with weariness. He sat up straight from his previous position of leaning against his friend.

"We should probably go to him then." Minho said while standing up and stretching. 

He noticed his friend hadn't moved from his position of looking out to the lawn which was decorated with faded neon lights and the smell of cigarettes. 

"Hyunjin?"

That brought the younger out of his slight trance as he made to get up.

"Right yeah sorry."

He stopped in front of the older boy. He looked into his eyes, searching for something. It looked like he was about to say something but apparently he decided against it as he walked past Minho through the door and down the hallway. The older watched his back with concern before following him.

They made their way down the flights of stairs silently. Hyunjin obviously too caught up in his own thoughts. As they neared the living room he noticed the other hold his head a bit higher, shoulders less slumped. He looked like the same Hyunjin, but Minho suspected his friend had something hidden underneath. 

Now was not the time to think about that though, as he saw a barely conscious Felix laying on the couch. Chan and someone Minho didnt recognise helped him to stand up. Seungmin was occupied by comforting a crying Jeongin, and Jisung was standing by to make sure no one fell.

As they entered the room Jisung looked up instinctively. They met eyes before Jisung looked over at Hyunjin and then back at Minho for a split second, his gaze then returned to the task in front of him as he asked somebody to move out of the way for Felix to stumble through.

"Excuse me? Can you move?"he repeated. 

It was only when Minho felt eyes on him did he realize he was talking to him as he stood in the doorway. He stepped to side as a blush crept on his cheeks.

He watched everybody working in harmony to the front door. Hyunjin immediately taking over for Seungmin as the latter went to help Chan and mystery man.

Minho watched his friends and suddenly felt out of place. He was still new to this friend group and he didnt know them as well as he wanted to. It felt like he was watching them through a window. Like all his friends were playing tag in the playground and he was locked inside the classroom.

He decided his pity party wouldnt help the situation in the slightest so when everyone was busy helping Felix into Hyunjins car he slipped away quietly. Not like anyone would notice anyway.

As he walked away from the house he sent Hyunjin a quick text saying that he went home because he was tired. He knew with everything going on he would only see it in an hour or two. He preferred that for now. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts and the cool night. 

Sometimes you just just dont get what you want.

It was only after walking for about 10 minutes before he got interrupted. 

He heard glass shattering ahead of him and looked up. There was a person currently swearing and holding his arm about 4 metres in front of him. The person turned in his direction slightly and he caught his face under the street lamp. It looked to be someone he briefly saw at the party.

Minho stood there, hands in his pockets, the cool breeze brushing over his bare arms. The stranger noticed him at this point, still clutching his arm tightly he called out.

"What are you looking at?" The person said through his teeth, though Minho assumed that was because of the blood trickling it's way down his arm.

"Do you need some help?"

Surprisingly the man didnt send him away, he just breathed heavily, brows furrowed in confusion before ignoring the question and sitting down on the bench between them. He leaned his head on the back of the bench, clenched his eyes and let out a groan as his arm continued bleeding.

Minho took this as an acceptance of his help so he sat down on the bench next to him, though not encroaching in his personal space. He took off his shirt wrapped around his waist and held in his hand as an offer to the bleeding man next to him. 

The man still didnt say anything, he just side eyed him before grabbing it out of his hand.

"I saw you at the party, what's your name?" Minho asked while the man wrapped the shirt around his arm tightly.

The man hesitated before answering, probably considering whether to indulge Minho in a conversation.

"Mark." He said as he tightened the shirt one last time.

Minho didnt really have anything to say, he didnt know why he started the conversation in the first place, maybe he just needed someone, anyone, to fill the gap Jisungs absence left.

"Are you gonna te me your name or am I not supposed to know?" Mark asked after a bit of silence, his voice a bit softer now.

"Its a secret." Minho said, his mind still a but fuzzy from the alcohol and the drugs. He didnt really feel like saying his name right now. He didnt want to be Minho right now.

Mark nodded slightly, a bit more relaxed now.

"What happened to your arm?" Minho asked.

Mark looked at his arm, as if wondering that himself.

"I was angry and threw a bottle at a wall 'cuz I'm dumb."

"Oh."

There was a beat of silence.

"Can I ask your advice on something Mark?" Minho asked.

"Shoot."

"Okay well, I have this friend... and he likes this guy. He really likes him, and hes never felt like this with anyone else." Minho said, starting to ramble. "The guy makes him feel so safe, and like someone could love him."

"So what's the problem?"

"He doesnt know if hes ready. And the guy he likes confessed to him, but he turned him down because he was scared... What should I do?" Minho finished quietly.

"You mean what should your friend do?"

"What should my friend do." Minho corrected himself quickly.

Mark thought for a moment, his face slowly turned more sad.

"Based on personal experience, your friend should go for it. He should be honest, tell the person how they feel now... or else he might a mistake, and things could go to complete shit. You could ruin a 2 year on and off relationship because you were too scared to tell your feelings to someone who was _obviously_ in love with you." Mark said bitterly.

"Dude... you good?" Minho asked.

"Nope." Mark said after a deep breathe. "Anyway, tell your friend to go for it. You only live once right?"

"Hm, I guess your right."

Minho sat on the bench, next to this stranger, the cool air laying its light hands on him. He knew that he should open himself up and be vulnerable, and he knew Jisung would be okay with that. 

But it was so much easier to run.

To run and never look back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason this chapter went up a lil late cuz I originally wrote a different chapter for chapter 12 but then I decided the timeline would be way too confusing so I switched the order. The next chapter will be more fluffy i promise.
> 
> Also a big thank you to fairyjeonginnie for leaving all of those sweet comments it really made my day :')


	13. An Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, me writing fluff???!?!? Incredible.

Changbin started running as soon as he had hung up the phone. He went to his boss and told him some bullshit excuse about a family emergency. Before the store manager could complain about having to find someone to cover for him or the like, Changbin was out the door. 

Running.

His head going through the possibility of every bad thing that could think of. Since Jeongin had called him in tears, barely coherent, his body had gone into panic mode. And now here he was, almost at the building, legs burning, lungs screaming, but panic slightly lessened with the thought that he was closer.

Surprisingly he hadn't cried yet. Well, he wasnt a big crier in the first place but he thought something would have happened given that its Felix. 

He didnt even bother knocking on the door, instead just barging into the apartment. He heard voices and saw almost everybody sitting on the sofa. 

Almost.

"Where is he?!" He panted out, more aggressive than he intended.

Jisung pointed to Jeongins room as the group watched Changbin immediately set off for the bedroom. 

He burst through the door to Chan gently rubbing the back of a certain pink haired boy who was currently on the bed, heaving up alcohol into a bucket.

Changbin didnt say anything, relief flooding his system that he was here, he was safe.

Chan looked up at the sudden interruption with wide eyes but relaxed when he saw Changbin in the doorway. 

As Felix stopped emptying his stomach he raised his head, taking deep breaths. He grabbed the towel next to the bed and wiped his mouth.

"I'm gonna go into the other room." Chan said quietly, getting up from his seat.

Changbin stepped forward slowly, as it set in what had happened. 

He dragged his feet to the chair previously warmed by Chan. 

Felix leaned back into the corner of the wall, head tilted up, eyes closed. The older could see how much his body was drained, his eyes were tired and his skin pale.

Changbin didnt say anything, he wasnt sure if he wanted to.

The younger glanced over to him, eyes still a bit unfocused.

"What happened?" Changbin whispered as he gently grabbed hold of Felix's hand.

Felix didnt say anything for a second, it seemed he still had a lot of alcohol in his system. 

"I..."

Changbin waited patiently. A million words seemed to burn on the tip of the youngers tounge.

"I'm sorry..." Felix barely whispered.

The atmosphere in the room was heavy. A million things unspoken. Changbin was afraid if he spoke louder the glass would break and everything would come crashing down in painful shards.

"I was angry... I thought it would distract me... and he..." Felix trailed off, voice weak from the bile.

Changbin noticed a faint red mark on the others neck and his heart sank. Yeah they weren't officially exclusive but, he thought, maybe...

"Why were you angry?" Changbin asked softly before the tears hit. He rubbed small circles on the youngers hand.

Felix's took a deep shaky breath. It seemed he had been crying as well.

"Seungmin and I had a little arguement."

Changbin hummed in acknowledgement. He still felt uncomfortable speaking at a normal volume. It was the same feeling you would get in a library, or a church. 

"Felix."

The younger one tilted his head towards him at that.

"Did you... I mean- are we..." he trailed off. He couldnt find the words to ask this question. He wasnt even sure if he was ready.

He looked at the younger boy. His hair was matted with sweat, eyes tired and tinted red. The expression he wore wasnt confusion, or curiosity at the half question, but rather indifference. As if he hadn't even processed that Changbin had said anything. 

"Nevermind." Changbing offered a small smile. This could wait until tomorrow, Felix was obviously not in any state to sort out their relationship status. 

A light knock came from the door and Changbin looked up as it opened slightly.

Seungmins face peeked through shyly.

"Sorry am I interrupting?" 

"No dont worry, I'm gonna be staying here so I can talk to him later." Changbin said standing up.

He hesitated in letting go of the pink haired boys hand. Once he did, his hand felt empty, uncomfortable, unnatural without Felix to hold it. 

  
⚖

Seungmin watched Changbin leave and then looked over to his friend. His friend who he had hurt. He couldnt help but blame himself for this. 

Jeongin had told him when they got into the party that he shouldn't have brought up a sensitive topic with Felix. He hadn't known it was serious until Felix started sulking in the car, at the start he genuinely thought it was just playful banter.

That always happened with him. Since he was little he would speak his mind honestly. He had no filter when it came to these kinds of things. He never wanted to be the cause of his friends pain, the thought of that hurt him more than they could imagine. He had cried on Jeongins shoulder too many times over his guilt. 

But he tried his best to change.

He really tried.

Instead of sitting in the chair he opted for a space of the bed that wasnt occupied by the drunk boy in front of him.

He honestly didnt know where to start. He opened his mouth but hesitated when he saw the hurt expression on his friends face. He couldnt help but be reminded he was the cause of that.

"Hyung im-" he stopped as he felt his voice waiver, the only dam keeping his emotions in check.

"I'm really, really sorry." Seungmin looked up at the younger. They made eye contact and he felt his dam crumble, dissolve, as he felt the tears behind his eyes threatening to escape. He sniffed and looked away, hoping the younger was too drunk to remember this.

"I didnt mean to hurt you. But that doesnt change anything. I know I take things too far sometimes, and I'm really sorry. I'm trying, I'm really trying." His voice broke a bit on the last word.

"I cant even come up with a valid excuse honestly." He chuckled slightly, a cynical smile spreading on his face. "If you hate me I get it... I probably hate me more."

"I just want you to know I..." he hesitated, the words burning on his tounge. He struggled to get them out as if they were physically blocking his throat.

"I love you and... I'm sorry." 

Seungmin was looking at his hands, each second of silence ticking into his brain. It hit him how long it's been since he heard the others voice, technically it was only a few hours ago in the car but it felt like years. Just as the silence was getting suffocating him he heard a sniffle come from his left. 

He looked up to see a teary eyed Felix staring at him with a quivering lip.

"D-dont cry." Seungmin said gingerly. 

Fuck, he didn't know how to deal with people crying. Give him a book to analyse, hes got it. Give him an essay about an author, done in an hour. But comforting someone? He had no idea how to start. What would Jeongin do? First you hug them right?

Seungmin wrapped his arms gently around the other in a hug as he was now full on ugly crying.

"S-seungmin." Felix said in between sniffs. "I l-love you too."

He thought back to his friends. Hyunjin would probably stroke his hair right? Seungmin awkwardly patted the pink hair under his chin.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Felix asked now less tears running down his face but still shaky.

"Ummmm... comforting you?" Seungmin said more of a question to himself, what WAS he doing?

Felix laughed at this, Seungmin felt the vibrations through his chest as the younger buried his head into his shirt.

"You dont have to be Hyunjin, or anyone else." Felix said quietly after a small sniffle, Seungmin could feel his smile.

"I know you struggle with these things. But it's okay, just be you. Please." He slightly slurred.

"You're the one who passed out and is still drunk yet how come you're the one comforting me." Seungmin chuckled out.

"Because you're... you're inconfitent." Felix's drunk brain said switching to English.

"You mean incompetent?"

"That's the one." 

They broke the awkward hug and leaned back into their respective spaces.

"Min I really dont hate you, you know that right?"

Seungmin hesitated for a moment.

"Thanks hyung." 

He wanted to believe that, so badly. But drilled into his head was the fact his friends probably did hate him. Okay maybe hate is a strong word. Dislike him. His friends disliked him, tolerated him, were too nice to send him away. So he just tagged along like a stray puppy that got too attached.

That's what his head told him.

⚖

Felix woke up from a dreamless sleep with what he was convinced was the worlds worst headache. He tried to shut it out, keep his eyes closed and drift back into the peaceful world of nothing but the dull ache behind his eyes told him otherwise. He realized it would be impossible to go back to sleep at this point so he begrudgingly started becoming aware of his surroundings.

He opened his eyes slowly and at first didnt know what he was looking at, it was only when it moved slightly, and held him tighter was when he realized what it was.

Or who it was.

Although he should have been surprised, he just nuzzled his head into his chest more and breathed in Changbins comforting smell. His headache was still there but lessened a bit with the smell of the olders familiar cologne.

He knew this feeling wouldnt last, he would wake up, one of them would leave, and then they would ignore whatever happened and pretend they were just close friends.

While Felix was thinking how he would get back to his apartment, he realized this wasnt Changbins apartment. He looked around the room, as much as could crane his neck without disturbing the older. This was... Chans room? Why was he in-

Oh.

The memories of last night, or what was was left of them, flashed behind his eyes. He remembered up to starting a conversation with a boy... Jaehyun was it? And then blank, and then Seungmin apologising. 

It unnerved him how there was a whole portion of his night he couldnt remember, what did he do in that time? He could have done something incredibly embarrassing that ruined his reputation and even his relationships with his friends, and he could have no idea.

He was pulled out of the beginning of an existential crisis by Changbin clearing his throat slightly, and shifting a small bit under him.

With the positions they were in, Felix laying on his chest, legs tangled together, he could feel the breathing of the older return to a conscious state. Less heavier than when he was sleeping.

"You awake?" Felix croaked out, his voice rough from sleep.

Changbin hummed in acknowledgement.

Felix didnt say anything for a little while, just staring at the opposite end of the room, his head still on the others chest, listening to his slow heartbeat. A lot of things were running around his mind.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked quietly.

"No." Changbin said without missing a beat.

Both of their voices soft and quiet, seeing as their was no one else to hear them in this room. They were loud enough for each other.

"Actually, if it's okay with you, can we talk?" Changbin asked hesitantly. 

They were both knew they were in dangerous territory, and they were hesitant in everything to avoid the mines.

Felix gave a small nod at that.

"What do you remember from last night?"

That was not what Felix was expecting.

"Uh, me and Seungmin fought, and there was a guy..." he trailed of at the end, the words spilling out before he realized.

He felt Changbin slightly tense at that, but otherwise the older had no reaction.

"And then I was here, and Seungmin apologised." He finished.

He felt Changbin hesitate for a moment.

"Do you... remember our talk?"

Felix felt Changbins heart beating a bit faster and heavier, his heart mimicked it in turn.

"No, what did we talk about?"

"Actually nothing." Changbin said before sighing. "But, I wanted to talk to you about something. I figured I'd wait 'till you were sober."

He absent mindedly started playing with the younger boys hair gently. It relaxed Felix's nerves a bit, the moving contact taking a bit of the worry out his system.

"What... are we?" Changbin said plainly.

Felix knew he should be panicking right now. He should be running away, he should be pushing Changbin away and walking out the door before things escalate. But for some reason he wasnt. He was staying here, and he felt okay about it. Here in Changbins arms, hearing Changbins pulse, Changbins fingers in his hair. 

He felt okay.

"What do you want us to be?" 

He felt the olders fingers freeze.

"I... like you."

Felix waited for the 'but'.

And he waited.

"But?" He asked.

"No buts. I like you Felix. I want to be with you, like a relationship."

Felix felt emotions in his chest he didnt know he could feel. He was never sure about things in his life, and Changbins sturdiness was a far cry from his turbulent mind. 

"Oh."

"Oh?"

Felix opened his mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. Too many things were happening in a split second. He couldnt find any words to explain how he felt right now. 

Changbin sighed, and then gently pulled the younger off and sat up. He put his feet on the ground and from where Felix was, leaning on his elbow half sitting up, he could see the others face, but he guessed it wasn't good.

"Its okay that you dont feel the same way, dont worry." The older said, but he couldnt keep the slight sad tone out of his voice.

"Changbin-"

"No its okay, honestly." 

Changbin went to get up, heading towards the door, but got pulled back down the bed by a hand on his jumper.

Felix wasnt able to express his emotions in words so he settled for crashing his lips against the others instead. 

Changbin was caught off guard but quickly recovered and settled in the bed properly, his hands landing in the others waist gently.

As their lips met Felix tried pouring all the unspoken words into this kiss.

A kiss was quite tame for them, but this was different. This time, they were both unafraid to get too close. They were bearing there raw emotions to each other for the first time.

Felix gently cupped the others face and pulled their lips apart. He kept his eyes closed, wanting to savour the moment for a second longer. Their foreheads leaned against each other and he felt the olders breathe ghost his lips. He opened his eyes and stared into the warm pools in front of him, reflecting all the words he hadn't said.

"I-" he took a deep breathe. "I... like you too."

A soft smile formed on Changbins face.

"And if-if you wanted to, do you think you could be my boyfriend? Ugh that sounds so childish." Felix looked away from the olders stare, blush forming under his freckles.

He looked back when he felt a gentle hand stroke his cheek. The look on Changbins face was nothing other then pure admiration.

"Lix' it's perfect." He chuckled out.

"So is that..."

"Its a yes." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think!!!!!!!!!!


	14. A Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooohhhhhhhhhhhhh 👀👀👀👀

Hyunjin sat on the kitchen stool, his body sore and stiff. He had stayed at Chan and Jeongins apartment last night, along with Seungmin, Felix and Changbin. He vaguely remembered Jisung leaving pretty quickly after making sure Felix was okay. 

Ah, Jisung.

He still felt incredibly guilty about what had happened. He had acted so irrational, and he had enjoyed it at the time. He never got to get angry at anyone, he always had to see the other persons side above his. Last night he had reveled in his little petty outburst, finally being able to be angry, and upset, and hurt. But now, in this calm kitchen as Seungmin and Jeongin sat on the couch watching something on whoever's phone and Chan finished up the scrambled eggs, he felt just incredibly guilty.

The memories of their fight flooded back to him and Hyunjin let out a groan as he lowered his head. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and looked up without moving. 

Chan was standing there with a sympathetic smile and plate of food. Hyunjin thanked him and placed the plate in front of him. He really wasn't hungry, he could never eat with a hangover. He picked at his food a bit before sighing.

"What? Is my food really that bad?" Chan said with a chuckle. 

"No, I'm just not usually hungry with a hangover." Hyunjin stated with a slight pout. 

"Hmm," Chan looked at him with narrowed eyes, taking a bite out of his toast. "You sure it isnt anything more? You've been kinda down since last night."

Hyunjin hesitated, still staring at his food. This was his chance, he could just spill everything, his feelings towards Minho, his guilt at himself, how hes been breaking at the seams for weeks yet no one seems to notice. 

But at that moment they heard something as Changbin left Chans room, hair messy and hickeys covering what you could see of his neck beneath his t shirt. He rubbed the back of his neck tiredly, sighing contently. He slowly looked up at the room and froze as soon as he saw the four pairs of eyes turn towards him.

Felix left the bedroom after him, clad in an over sized hoodie that enveloped his hands, matching love bites on his neck as well. He also stopped all movements as he took in the sight in front of him. 

There was a silence that enveloped the room as every individual took in what they were seeing. It was extremely obvious to the outsiders what went on in that room.

"Really? In my bed?" Chan said dissapointedly. 

"Sorry hyung." Felix said in a small voice practically hiding behind Changbin.

"Is there anything... you want to tell us?" Hyunjin cocked an eyebrow. 

The two culprits shared a look and silently decided something, then looking back at the group, they intertwined their hands. Changbin swallowed thickly before starting.

"So um, me and Felix we uh, we're kind of... dating?" Changbin managed to get out.

"We're prepared to answer any questions." Felix offered shyly, a flush appearing on his ears and cheeks.

⚖

Although he was incredibly curious Chan decided it was best if everyone got situated at the couch before delving into the details of the apparent Changlix relationship.

They asked the basic questions, 'how long?', 'who made the first move', that kind of stuff. After everyone had recovered from the initial shock things went mostly back to normal. That was the good thing about their friend group, they were all so close that almost nothing could shake them. Seungmin and Jeongin went back to their Netlix and Hyunjin and Chan went to the kitchen to clean up. The only difference was the new couples extreme PDA.

"What are your thoughts?" Chan asked, looking over at Changbin and Felix, the latter currently being smothered with kisses as he sat across the olders lap.

"Well, it was expected. Those two have been weird friends with benefits for ages now." Hyunjin replied, not looking up from the dishes he was washing. 

Chan didn't respond, he just watched the younger from his spot leaning against the counter, arms crossed. 

He knew something was up, but Hyunjin just wouldnt tell him. He felt helpless in this situation, he just wanted to care for the him, but the younger wouldnt accept his hand. 

"Do I have something on my face?" Hyunjin asked with a smirk.

Chan snapped out of his stare and looked at the others hands instead.

"Jin' when are you going to talk to me?" He asked quietly, so the others couldnt hear them.

Hyunjins smirk fell into a small smile that might as well have been see through to Chan.

"What do you mean? I'm talking to you right now." 

Chan could tell the other knew what he meant, he was just trying to avoid the question.

"Hyunjin." Chan said, his voice a little lower, tone more serious. He placed his hand gently on the youngers shoulder, who in turn halted his movements. "You know you can tell me anything."

Hyunjin blinked slowly, before looking up at the older, making eye contact. He put on a soft smile. 

"I know hyung. Dont worry." He said smoothly. Chan could hear the lie in his voice.

⚖

Jisung was lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He was struggling to stay awake. His eyelids felt like lead but he refused to sleep. 

Since he had helped everybody get Felix into the apartment his mind had been swirling with the events of the night. 

He had made it to his apartment, thankfully, without running into Minho. When he was approaching their hallway he prayed the other wouldnt be going home at the same time.

He had wondered where he left to when everybody was helping Felix, or more importantly why he left. 

He had slipped off his shoes in the doorway and decided he really couldn't deal with a nightmare with everything going on, so instead he settled into a familiar routine of brewing coffee and attempting to work on tracks. 

That's where he was now, 1:30am, over 24 hours with no sleep. Everything in his body screamed at him to just give in and go the fuck to sleep. But he refused. 

He almost did at around 3pm but he quickly caught himself from slipping and brewed another cup of coffee.

He stared at his ceiling, his thoughts now calmed down as it seemed he didnt have the energy to think. His body seemed to let him think about the events of last night one at a time, instead of all at once like usual. 

It started off with the fight between him and Hyunjin. Okay he gets it, he was being a prick, but it was really out of character for Hyunjin to get that angry. The most he had seen from his friend was him getting frustrated at a new choreography or something. And the look he gave him when Jisung had mentioned the fight between him and Minho. He remembered looking into his eyes and shivers going down his spine.

He shook his head, he really didnt want to think about that right now. His brain decided this memory was better.

The image of Minho looking at him with what he saw as pity. He had never felt more embarrassed and shameful than that moment. Being turned down by him hurt. A lot. 

He groaned and dragged his hands down his face. He didnt want to think about that either. 

With that his brain brought him to his final memory, at the start of this night, the catalyst.

The image of Minho inches away from him, neon lights dancing on his skin as they both swayed to the beat. He could still feel his hands on his waist, pulling him closer. He wondered how those hand would feel running through his hair, or on his bare skin. Would they leave a trace of fire under his skin, or would they make him melt into his touch? He remembered his lips being wet by his tounge as the music played on. Those lips. Those damned lips. They were so enticing to him. He couldnt help but be drawn in by everything about the older boy. He wanted to know his every secret. He wanted to know how he felt in the dark. He wanted to know how he tasted without alcohol. 

It was these thoughts that eventually lulled Jisung into a slumber. He didnt even register his eyes closing.

-

_He opened his eyes to the familiar blue room. He tried to move out of habit. His blood freezing when his arm reached up unexpectedly._

_This had never happened before. Ever. For as long as he could remember these nightmares had been exactly the same every time._

_But now, now something was different._

_He gingerly moved his limbs in turn, checking that everything was working. When he was satisfied he could function, he slowly got up from the chair._

_He looked around the room, walking up to a wall. He hesitantly brushed his finger against it, feeling the smooth concrete under it. The room was completely silent, if he was correct the noise should be starting, but there was nothing._

_Not a sound._

_His eyes trailed over the room before coming to a stop at the door. He felt something stir in him. The desire to know. He swallowed thickly and took slow step towards it, and then stopped about half a metre in front of it. He felt a bead of sweat trail down his forehead as his heart screamed at him not to open it._

_He reached his hand out shakily to the door knob but before he could even touch it, it slowly turned and he heard the soft click singaling it had been unlocked._

_His breath halted as it creaked open outwards agonisingly slow. There was nothing black space behind it. He blinked rapidly to try and adjust his eyes to the darkness but he stopped when he spotted movement._

_He watched as sickly pale fingers curled around the frame of the door, dirt and soil under the short fingernails._

_A sick feeling sprouted in his chest as he saw the rest of the body stumbled into his field of vision._

_The rest of it matched the almost translucent paleness of the hand. Clothes tattered and ripped. There was dried blood caking it in patches, he didnt know it was coming from it or something else. He heard the thing wheeze a rattled breath as it raised its head._

_His breath hitched as his eyes scanned its face._

_"Jisung..." the thing croaked from Minhos mouth._

_It sounded like him, only something was very, very wrong. It sounded broken, like every word was shoving daggers into its voice box._

_Jisungs body slowly started reacting again, and he took a shaky step backwards. His breath came out shallow and strained as he looked with wide eyes at the creature that was not Minho._

_The creature took a step forward in return, only to stumble and fall in front of his feet._

_"Ji-" but it got cut off by a wet cough, blood coming out of its mouth. It grabbed on to Jisungs pant leg weakly with bloody hand._

_Jisung barely registered tears falling down his cheeks as he took slow steps back, effectively ridding his pants of the ghostly hand. His breathing was starting to pick up the pace as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing._

_The thing tried it's best to crawl towards him with its arms, while wheezing out strained breaths._

_"Jisung... help me... please" it said quietly._

_Jisungs heard almost shattered. It sounded so pained, and so human. It almost sounded like Minho for a second. He blinked rapidly as tears kept falling down his face. His back hitting the wall of the blue room as the thing kept crawling towards him slowly._

_"Why are you just standing there?" The things face contorting into a hurt pleading looking, tears starting to fall from it's own face, marking tracks through the blood and grime._

_"Help me... I need you to help me.."_

_Jisungs was hyperventilating at this point. His legs gave out and he slid down the wall behind him. Dry sobs ripped out of his throat in intervals._

_The thing had been getting weaker and weaker, eventually coming to a stop, hand a few inches away from Jisungs own shaky legs._

_It looked at him, through glassy eyes._

_"Why didnt you help me... you could have saved me." It whispered out before its eyes fluttered close._

-

Jisung woke up with a start, sitting up from his bed. 

His eyes darted frantically around his room as he panted heavily. His body was sticky with cold sweat and he tasted salty tears on his lips. The images from his dream flashed through his mind and he couldnt get them to stop. The tears kept coming as he remembered the pained expression of the thing that looked like Minho. He remembered all the blood and the pleas and he quickly covered his mouth as a sob racked through his body.

He couldnt think at all right now so he just followed what his body told him to do. He got up on shaky legs, tears not ceasing their decent from his eyes, and he opened his door. 

He crossed the hallway and started pounding on the door in front of him repeatedly. He didn't care what the neighbor's would think, he didnt care about anything right now, he couldnt care. He couldnt think.

Another sob left his mouth as he could barely see through the tears. Finally after he heard some shuffling around a very confused and annoyed Minho opened the door.

"What the-"

He got cut off by Jisung practically throwing himself into his arms.

The older froze, as Jisung sobbed hard, clutching his shirt which was now wet in patches with tears.

"J-Jisung what-" The real Minho asked in disbelief, completely caught off guard. 

"I'm s-sorry, I c-couldnt save y-you." Jsiung said between sobs as he buried his face into Minhos chest, hands clutching desperately at the back of his shirt.

Minho looked down at the boy with a worried look. He finally wrapped his arms gently around the other, rubbing up and down his back in an attempt to comfort him. He softly pressed his lips to the crown of messy hair in front of him all the while Jisung kept letting out shaky sobs.

Minho realized they were still standing in the doorway, conversation audible to the unsuspecting neighbors.

"Let's get you inside huh?" He said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger!!!! But the next few chapters are going to be mostly centred around minsung. 
> 
> The Changlix mini arc is kind of settled now, opinions?


	15. A Bath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: fluff ahead uwu

Dance had always comforted Minho. It was something he could lean on when everything had failed him. It was there for him through all of his hardships. No matter what happened he could always turn on a song and his thoughts melted away, if only for a few minutes. Something about being able to execute the moves and have them all come together at the end soothed him. His mind was occupied while he analysed a dance and replicated it.

This is what he was doing, practicing a new choreo for a competition he had coming up, when frantic pounding on his door had dragged him out of his state of calm. He narrowed his eyes at the door and wiped sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. He cautiously approached it as it rattled from the aggressive knocking.

He opened it and he didnt know what he was expecting, but it wasn't this. Before he could register anything a sobbing Jisung flung himself into his arms. 

And now he was was on his bed, gently rubbing the others back next to him as he continued crying. He had calmed down a bit, no longer sobbing, but still shaky.

"M' sorry I couldnt s-save you." He mumbled out through hiccups. 

It was no different to what he had been saying since Minho had opened the door. He kept going on about saving him. Minho didnt know what to think of that, but he could decipher it later, for now he was just worried about the crying boy in his arms.

"Jisung?" He asked gently.

The younger didnt answer, he just continued letting his salty tears stain Minhos shirt.

"Jisung can you listen to me?" Minho asked his voice still gentle but it had more of a serious tone. 

Jisung paused in his ramblings and still buried in Minhos chest, he gave a small nod.

"I think you need to have a nice warm bath and then we can talk properly. I'll leave clean clothes for you okay?" Minho said quietly.

Jisung nodded once again before Minho gently helped him stand and brought him to the bathroom. He sat Jisung down on the edge of the tub and turned on the water. He let it run while he went back to his room and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a jumper.

When he returned Jisung had calmed down a lot, he had stopped crying, now only sniffling, but his gaze was distant as he stared at the bathroom tiles. 

Minho placed the folded clothes next to sink and then checked the temperature of the water, satisfied that it wouldnt burn Jisung he switched off the tap. 

"Jisung I'm going to leave you to get comfy, will you be okay on your own?" He asked, crouching down to look the other in the eyes.

Jisung slowly turned his stare to Minho, when he looked at the older his eyes were glassy and he looked like he was going to start crying again. Instead he just gave a small nod.

"Okay good. I'll be just outside in the kitchen. If you need anything you just shout." Minho said before gently pressing his lips to the others forehead. He gave him a small concerned smile and made to leave the room.

Before he could step out the door he was stopped by a hand grabbing his shirt tightly. 

He turned back to see Jisung looking up at him with big eyes. Minho saw a flash of fear in those before he spoke up. 

"Stay. Please." Jisungs voice came out quiet and broken.

Minho felt something in his heart break at this. He placed his hand on the youngers own hand which was clinging onto his shirt and gently pried the fingers off, without letting go of his hand. 

"Okay," Minho said quietly, "I'll stay."

As they both looked at each other in this small bathroom Minho thought up a plan for him to stay while both keeping their dignity. He crouched in front of the younger once again, not breaking eye contact.

"I need to get something, I'll be right back. Dont worry, I'm not leaving."

Jisung nodded at that, and this time he didnt stop the older boy as he left the room. 

Minho went into his room and searched through a drawer, once he got what he needed he returned to the bathroom. Jisung hadn't moved from his spot and looked at the object in Minhos hand curiously.

"You put these on, I'll turn around." Minho said with more confidence than he actually had. 

Jisung took the swimming shorts from Minhos hand and the older was slightly shocked with Jisungs complete willingness but immediately turned around once he saw the other reaching to take off his shirt.

He faced the wall and felt his ears go red but tried his best to push those thoughts away. First and foremost he wanted to make sure Jisung was okay.

He heard some shuffling around behind him, footsteps, and then a hand gently grabbing hold of his arm. He hesitantly turned around, relaxing when he saw the other was decent. 

He gently led the younger to the tub and helped him inside the warm water. 

Jisungs eyes were still red and his cheeks tear stained, but he seemed to relax a bit more in the water. He hugged his legs to his chest and rested his head on his knees. 

Minho kneeled next to the tub and soaked a washcloth in the warm water. He gently rubbed it over the others shoulders, the drops dancing down his back.

Minho took this time to really admire the younger boy. He watched his eyelids slowly close and heard a small content sigh leave his lips. His tan skin seemed to glow in the poorly lit bathroom. Even in his distressed state he seemed to spread a warmth everywhere. The light worked it's way into the cracks of Minhos soul, his soul that had been shattered and put back together time and time again. He never thought he could feel this warmth, he thought he would be banished to the dark forever. But no, this boy had come into his life and changed that. Now he had some warmth.

He could survive.

Minho noticed Jisung get a bit too relaxed, his figure starting to slump.

"Hey, dont fall asleep now huh?" He said with a quiet chuckle as he ran the cloth on his neck and collarbones.

Jisung raised his head slightly at that, his eyes opening slowly.

"Sorry." He said in a small voice.

"Dont apologise." Minho replied softly.

There was a pause when Jisung didnt respond, instead Minho felt the youngers eyes searching his face.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Minho offered, looking back at the boy in the water.

Jisung looked away, down at his hands in the water, as if they would tell him what happened.

"I had a nightmare." He said simply.

Minho hummed at that, waiting patiently for him to continue. Jisung could take all the time in the world, there was no pressure.

"You were in it."

Minho had guessed as much but it still made his brain stutter a bit, he didnt falter in running the cloth behind the others ears and jaw gently though.

"You were... I dont know... I think you were dead." Jisung said, his voice small.

"It was like, it looked like you, but it wasnt. Something was different. I dont know what but I just knew... it wasnt you."

Minho soaked the cloth again and ran it through his hair, the warm water cascading down his neck, calming the other down a bit.

"You were covered in dirt and- and blood..." Jisung trailed off.

"You were asking me to save you but I... I didnt. I couldnt move." Minho saw him blinking quickly and saw a tear fall down, joining the warm water below 

"I'm- I'm sorry. You sounded so real and I just... didnt do anything." Jisungs voice betrayed him and his lip quivered 

Minho let go of the cloth in the water and wrapped his arms around the boy. He didnt care he would get soaked, in fact he didnt really notice the water. He just let the other cry, it was much more calm this time around. No sobs, just tears and sniffs. He felt the others hands clutch his t shirt.

Minho pushed him away just enough to be able to look in his eyes. He cupped his face and pushed his tears away gently with his thumbs.

"Its okay, it was just a dream Sung. You're okay, and I'm okay." He said looking the other in the eyes. "I'm here, in front of you and I'm not going anywhere okay?"

Jisung nodded at that as his lip trembled. 

"Do you wanna get dry and we can have some hot chocolate or tea or whatever you want?"

Again he didnt say anything he just nodded. 

⚖

Jisung watched the older boy reach for him to help him out of the tub. His brain was all fuzzy from the lack of sleep and the stress he had gone through. He had never had a nightmare that vivid before, it had truly shaken him. 

As he shakily climbed out of the tub Minho reached for a towel and the clothes next to the sink. He handed them both to him and spoke.

"You get changed, I'll get this ready in the kitchen. Remember I'm right outside okay?"

Jisung gave a nod in response. He was too out of it to speak. He just wanted to go to sleep but even the thought of trying had him nervous. Every minute he would remember an image of his dream and it made him feel sick. 

He ruffled his hair with the fluffy towel in attempt to dry his hair. He slipped off the swimming shorts and almost laughed about this whole situation. As he put on the clothes Minho had gave him he noticed how it smelled like the older, a hint of mint mixed in with clean cotton. He tried to focus on that instead of the nightmare and left the bathroom without looking at himself in the mirror. He didnt want to see his reflection right now, he already knew he looked like a mess.

He entered the kitchen and found the older stirring a cup of hot chocolate. Jisung didnt know how he knew it was his favourite.

As Minho noticed the movement he looked up and his movements stalled, the spoon freezing in the cup.

Jisung saw him look him up and down and suddenly he felt extremely nervous, on top of his previous heightened anxiety because of the nightmare. He became of aware how he must look, his hair damp and messy, the clothes didnt really fit him as he was smaller than Minho.

"W-what is it? Do I look that bad?" Jisung asked in a shy voice as he fiddled with the over sized sleeves of the sweatshirt.

"You look so... _cute_." Minho said still in his daze.

"Oh." Jisung said, a small smile creeping on his face as a pink tint appeared on his cheeks.

Minho snapped out of his trance and quickly looked away, continuing to stir the hot chocolate, his ears becoming red. He cleared his throat before speaking. 

"H-have a seat, your drink is ready."

Jisung complied and went to sit on the still across the older. Minho placed a cup in front of him and he could smell the sweet chocolate scent. It reminded him of when his mom would make it for him for movie nights. 

He picked up the mug and gingerly pressed it to his lip, scared of the temperature. When he tasted it he looked at Minho with wide eyes.

"This is the best hot chocolate I've ever had." He whispered incredulously.

Minho chuckled at that and just sipped his own in response.

"Seriously what the fuck, it tastes like heaven." Jisung said before gulping down the rest. 

When he finished he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked up at Minho. It was Minhos turn to look with wide eyes.

"More importantly how the fuck did you chug that entire mug in less than 5 seconds."

Jisung giggled at that, slightly embarrassed.

"I dont know, special skill I guess." 

Minho gave a fond smile in return. 

Jisung fiddled with the handle of the now empty mug before speaking up again.

"Hyung?"

Minho cocked his head curiously at the term, it was the first time Jisung had referred to him as that.

"What is it?"

Jisung hesitated, building up the courage. 

"Do you think..." he started, not looking in the olders direction, "I could sleep here tonight? I just, dont want to be alone right now." 

There was no answer from Minho for a moment and Jisung worried for a split second that he had crossed a line.

"Yeah of course. Dont worry." He finally said with a kind voice.

"Thanks." Jisung said as his cheeks turned pink once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a hot minute since we've had only minsung povs so here u go.


	16. A Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the spiciest piece I've ever written which really isnt saying much.

Minho set up the sofa with a spare blanket and pillows while Jisung sat at counter eating some chocolate that Minho forgot he had. 

"Hows Felix?" Minho asked.

"Oh yeah hes good, I think something happened between him and Changbin though. I dont know, I didnt check the message properly." Jisung said before letting out a yawn. 

"Ew I just saw half eaten chocolate." 

"Well you didnt have to look!" Jisung said with a defensive tone, he couldnt help the embarrassed smile that spread across his face.

"Okay I'm done here." Minho said turning to face him. "M' gonna wash up." He said stretching his arms over his head.

He didnt spot Jisung staring at the sliver of skin the poked through when his shirt rode up.

"Mhm." Was all the younger responded with while he looked away, a flush on his cheeks.

Minho went to the bathroom and while he was brushing his teeth he studied his reflection. He noted the dark circles under his eyes. This competition had him practicing every hour of his spare time. He was usually at the dance studio until he was kicked out by the night janitor, and then he practiced some more in his room before he would collapse on his bed, and then repeat it again the next day. 

Despite all this he noticed he looked a bit more happier, a slight glow around him. He could take a guess on why. The memory of him gently kissing a certain boys forehead flashed through his mind. Along with the feeling of his waist between his hands, and his head on his shoulder while a song played on and the scent of strawberries and alcohol wafted through his senses. 

Before he realized he let out a small giggle at that. He immediately clapped a hand over his mouth.

"No." He said pointing aggressively to himself in the mirror. "Just friends Min. Friends."

The words of the stranger, Mark, swam through his mind.

 _Y_ ou _have to go for it, before you regret it._

That didnt really make things easier for Minho as he now had two conflicting course of actions battling in his head. He took a deep breath and finished up brushing his teeth before taking one last look at himself in the mirror and leaving the safeness of the bathroom to the dark main room. 

Although his eyes needed to adjust to the darkness a bit he saw the figure of a snuggled up Jisung on the couch. He couldnt help but let a soft smile cross his face. 

He walked over to his bed and layed under the covers. He looked at the back of the couch and thought about the safe boy behind it as he closed his eyes.

"Night 'Sung" he whispered.

-

It was maybe and hour later and Minho was almost about to fall asleep. He was in the weird half asleep place where he was still conscious but wasnt aware of anything. He suddenly felt the bed sink a bit next to him. He heard some shuffling as the person next to him got comfortable under the sheets. 

He cracked open his eyes slowly and was greeted by the streetlights from his window reflecting on the face of an orange blonde boy.

Minho didnt say anything, neither did Jisung. He saw Jisung hesitate a bit before he slowly inched closer and tucked his head between the crook of the olders shoulder and neck. Minho in return rested his arm on the others waist. Both reacting as if this was natural.

Minho breathed in the scent of the younger boy, the strawberry still somehow lasting after the bath. He felt the others hands grip his t shirt a bit as he built up the courage to ask something.

"Hyung?" Jisung whispered, his breath tickling Minhos neck.

"Mhm." The older replied.

There was a pause.

"Can I try something?" 

Half of Minhos brain told him to say no and just go to sleep, the other half echoed Mark's words.

"Yeah sure." He replied softly.

Jisung moved a bit at that. Detaching himself from the older before sitting up slightly. Minho sat up as well, looking at Jisung expectantly, back resting against the head board.

Jisung sat looking at the sheets with a distant gaze, fidgeting with his sleeves, contemplating. He had this look, brows slightly furrowed, like he was arguing with himself.

"Jisung?" Minho spoke up, bringing Jisung out of his thoughts.

The younger looked at him for a moment before scooting closer. Minho saw him clench his jaw.

He hesitantly swung his leg over Minhos lap and rested his hands on the others chest gingerly, his legs folded on either side of the olders thighs.

"Y-You'll tell me if you want me to stop right?" He asked quietly. Even in the dim light Minho could see the red tint to his cheeks, and the younger wouldn't meet his eyes.

Alarm bells went off in Minhos head, he knew what Jisung was going to do but he pushed the warning signs away. He just wanted to enjoy this while he could. He could be scared tomorrow. 

"Mhm." He hummed with a small smile as he rested his hands on the others thighs, the sweatpants material soft under his fingers. 

Jisung took in a breathe before finally looking at Minho, his blush growing darker. He trailed his hands up to the olders shoulders and met his gaze, he leaned forward slightly, his breath ghosting his face. Inside Minhos mind was melting but outside he was still calm and composed. You would think he was completely unaffected if not for the pink tint to his ears and cheeks and his slight amused smile. 

"Why aren't you telling me to stop?" Jsiung asked breathlessly as the gap between their faces slowly grew smaller. 

"Maybe I dont want you to." Minho said in a low voice, glancing at the youngers lips.

Jisung sucked in a small breath at this and Minho used that moment to fully close the gap between their lips.

⚖

Jisung was so incredibly nervous when he spoke up. But that nervousness immediately got wiped clean when he felt Minhos lips press against his. At first it was a soft, gentle kiss between both of them, testing the waters. When they both fully reciprocated Minho broke it for a second before coming back slightly harder, with more want.

Everytime the older broke it for a split second Jisung would slightly chase his lips. He tangled his hands in the dark brown locks and felt Minho grip his thighs a bit tighter. 

He let out a soft gasp at that and Minho used this opportunity to slide his tounge against the others, Jisungs sighs got swallowed up by the olders mouth. Every single nerve in his body lighting up wherever Minhos fingers trailed.

Minhos warm hand slid under his sweatshirt and layed flat on his lower back, pulling him closer. Minho broke away from the kiss once again, this time kissing down his jaw. Jisungs breath got heavier as he could feel every single touch Minho gave him.

He gripped the others hair slightly harder out of instinct as Minho left kisses from his jaw down his neck. When he got to the crook of his collarbone Jisungs breath hitched. Minho noticed that and sucked slightly around that area. 

Jisung let out a small whine when Minho left a mark and he felt the older lips turn into a smirk at that. 

"Your so pretty for me." Minho mumbled against his neck before returning to blooming red marks on his skin.

Jisung let out another breathless moan at the praise.

"So, so pretty."

They were both too caught up in the heat and passion to hear the gentle click of the door opening.

⚖

Hyunjin stumbled up the stairs of the apartment complex with a fuzzy mind. He had drunk a few too many beers and for some reason decided it was a good idea to go to Minhos apartment at 3am. This was it. 

This was the night he was going to confess. 

He silently hoped that Minho was just scared and that once he told him his feelings the older would reciprocate them.

He dragged his feet into the hallways and hiccuped slightly. His eyes instinctively darted to Jisungs door and he paused for a moment.

"Han Jisung, I'm not letting you win this easily." He stumbled over his words.

A small nagging feeling of guilt that he thought he had drowned out with alcohol, bloomed in his chest. He shook it off and turned to Minhos door.

He was about to open it when he remembered it was probably locked. He crouched down, lifted the carpet and spotted the shiny item he was looking for.

"Aha, gotcha." He slurred as he held up the spare key. 

He narrowed his eyes and stared at the lock before slowly inserting the key.

"Boom. First try." He quietly said to himself as he turned it. 

Hyunjins hand froze at the handle when he heard something. 

Was that... a moan? 

His blood froze. No, no, no, it was just the wind or something. It was his ears tricking him right.

Despite his brain telling him not to, he shakily turned the handle and pushed the door quietly. He cracked it open and the sight he was greeted with made his stomach drop.

He saw a mass of two figures. He recognised one of them to be Minho but he couldnt place the other until he heard another small whine. 

Jisung... 

_What the fuck._

_What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck._

Hyunjin took shaky steps backwards as his eyes went wide. His breathing started to get faster. His drunk mind was getting even more fuzzy. He remembered to blink when he hit the wall behind him and he felt the tears build up behind his eyes. 

It was then when his instincts kicked in and he set off running, well as best as he could run with 5 bottles of beer in his system. 

As he ran his mind was racing. How could he have been so stupid. Of course Minho and Jisung would end up together. Of course Minho would choose the happy, cute boy over him. He was just the supporting role to their love story. He was just the friend everyone could lean on, but what happens when the weight became too much.

What happens when he crumbled. 

He couldnt think properly as he left the building towards his own. The anxiety and alcohol seemed to erase his mind for a few minutes as when he came out of his thoughts, without realizing it he had ended up in his apartment already. He heaved in breaths as he unlocked his door with shaky hands. When he finally heard the telltale click he burst in and shut it behind him. 

As he felt the tears fall so did he, his back slid against the door and he ended up on the floor. It was times like these he despised his empty apartment. He needed a presence with him, he needed someone to just be there. But he had no one.

Just then his mind provided him with a memory. He picked up his phone and even though he could barely see through the tears he managed to dial a number.

"Hey c-could you come over please?"he asked through hiccuping breaths. 

"I need you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped u liked that! Who do you think Hyunjin called 👀👀👀


	17. A Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is literally all over the place I'm so sorry.

Chan was outside Hyunjins apartment, standing by the door, his hand hesitating to knock. He had been brought here by a distressed Hyunjin calling him at 3am. He didnt even have time to change from his sweatpants or attempt to tame his hair.

He didnt know why he was hesitating. He didnt know why his heart was hammering in his ears. He didnt know why mouth was getting dry. 

He just knew Hyunjin was hurting and he had to help.

He pushed back his unreasonable nerves and knocked on the door and waited.

And waited.

There was no sound coming from the other side. No shuffling of feet, no 'Two seconds!', no crying like the phone call. Nothing.

Immediately Chans brain went to the worse scenario so instead of knocking again he tried the handle. Surprisingly it was unlocked and he pushed the door open, peeking in. His eyes scanned the room and he quickly found his target. Hyunjin was sitting on the sofa, unopened bottles of beer sitting in front of him. It didnt seem like he was crying anymore.

"Hey, you okay?" He said softly as he let himself in and slipped off his shoes.

Hyunjin lifted his head at that and looked at Chan with a blank stare and red tinted eyes.

"I fucked up Chan." He stated simply.

Chan faltered for a second, unsure how to respond. 

"Oh." He said walking to the couch. "What happened?"

He sat next to Hyunjin before the other spoke up again.

"I think Jisung hates me now." Hyunjin said, slightly pouting.

"Hmm. Why do you think that?" Chan asked in a gentle tone.

"Because," Hyunjin sighed out before leaning back against the couch, eyes to the ceiling. "I like Minho. And I got angry at him because of that, but he doesnt know that." 

Chan blinked slowly, trying to process the information that the younger had just mumbled out.

"You... like... Minho?" 

"Yeah. I know, it's stupid." 

"Its not stupid Jin." 

Hyunjin didnt say anything at that. After a few beats of silence he let out a groan.

"I dont even know why I called you. This is stupid. I should have just kept this to myself like everything else." He trailed off on the last sentence, Chan barely catching it.

He got up from the couch and started walking toward the kitchen. Chan got up too but didnt move.

"Hyunjin." 

Hyunjin paused at that.

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's okay. You can talk to me." 

"Ugh, Chan it's honestly fine. I dont want to unload all my problems on you."

"You're not. I'm literally offering to help you." Chans tone was more annoyed than he meant. 

"Fine. You want to help?" Hyunjin said turning around to face him. "Let me just tell you dump all my shit on you, like that will solve anything."

"Hyunjin I'm asking you- I'm _telling_ you to do that." Chan pleaded.

"Fine!" Hyunjin said taking a step towards him.

"I have been in love with one of my closest friends for two years. Two fucking years!" 

He took another step towards him.

"And now, he's off making out with my other best friend and I'm supposed to act like I'm fine, and my heart _isnt_ breaking in two!"

He felt the sting of tears behind his eyes.

"And I dont even have any time to process this because I have to clean up after all of my friends like I'm their fucking mother!"

Another step.

"Everyone always unloads their shit on me and then I have to pick up all the pieces! No one ever fucking let's me breathe! I cant get a fucking break!"

His breathing was getting heavier.

"I'm so fucking tired all the time but I dont have anytime to rest because I have two majors that my shitty parents forced me into! I dont even like fucking architecture!"

Chan hadn't moved, just letting him rant. They were now less than a foot apart.

"And it's not fucking _fair_!"

The tears were now falling and Hyunjin shoved Chan, who still didnt move from his spot.

"Its not fucking fair that I have to deal with all this shit! It's not fair that everyone's leaving me behind..." He said between breaths.

"I didnt ask for any of this." He sobbed out, every syllable punctuated with weak fists hitting chans chest.

⚖

"Hyunjin."

Chan grabbed his wrists, stopping his attempts to release his anger. Hyunjin took quick shaky breathes. It felt like his head was going to explode, everything was too much. He had never said half of those out loud.

"Breathe."

He looked into Chans eyes, his gaze was steady and calm, compared to the youngers frantic heart beat. He tried his best to listen, and used the olders grip on his wrists between them to ground him. He closed his eyes and started to try level his breathing, only now realizing how close they were to each other. Chan had this warmth radiating off him, Hyunjin could feel it from where his was.

"Hyunjin."

He opened his eyes and looked up at the steady voice.

Chan let go of his wrists and lifted a hand to cup his cheek and gently wipe a tear away.

"Please." The older whispered.

"Let me take care of you."

Hyunjins breathe caught in his throat for a moment. Suddenly his emotions over flowed even more, he wasnt even aware that was possible. He felt his lip tremble at the gentleness. As once again tears fell, this time, out of relief and tiredness. He nodded, face still cupped in a gentle hand.

He didnt know what overcame him but in that moment, with Chans warm presence, gentle hand, and offer of safeness, he felt something in his heart stir.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against the others. His eyes closed and his brain already fuzzy, it took him a few moments to process the older wasnt kissing him back.

He broke kiss and slowly looked back to the gaze of the older. He definitely had a pink tint to his cheeks but he had an unreadable expression

A tense silence settled over them before Chan spoke up softly.

"Let's get you to bed. You need to sleep." He said with a sad smile before grabbing hold of his hand and leading him towards the bedroom.

Hyunjin felt his heart sink slightly at the lack of acknowledgement, but he was slightly relieved he wasnt outright rejected. He followed the other to the bedroom and stood by the bed, looking down at his feet.

Chan pulled back the duvet and to Hyunjins surprise he got under the covers himself. When he spotted the younger just kind of standing there he spoke up. 

"Come on, you need to sleep."

Hyunjin awkwardly got into the bed, his heart pounding against his ribcage.

When he got into the covers he looked at Chan with a strange expression.

"What? I said I would take care of you." The older said before putting an arm around him.

Hyunjin smiled slightly, his embarrassment fading a little bit as he hugged Chan back and closed his eyes.

He would like to say he slept fine after that but in reality his mind was racing with the events of the night and what it all meant. 

He remembered Minho and Jisung and what he had seen. He wasnt sure how he was going to apologise and if he was even able to keep that a secret. 

He thought about the boy next to him and about their strange relationship to one another, how they both understood each other, maybe too much. All these unspoken things between them just stagnating in the air. 

Eventually, he decided that hungover Hyunjin could deal with that, and he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

⚖

Chan listened to the quiet breaths coming from the sleeping boy who was now snuggling into his chest. His thoughts were swirling with what had happened tonight.

Hyunjin had kissed him. He had never thought of the younger boy like that before, but to be honest after that kiss something had clicked inside him. Maybe all of these strange emotions towards the younger boy he'd always experience were because... he liked him? 

He was so confused but one thing was for sure. He wanted to kiss him properly. He hadn't reacted to the incident earlier because he felt like he would be taking advantage of a drunk, emotionally distressed Hyunjin, but that didnt change the fact he really wanted to kiss him again, for real this time.

Also all this stuff about Hyunjin liking Minho? That caught him off guard, then again, it made sense. And Jisung and Minho? He silently congratulated Jisung but also his heart hurt a bit for the sleeping boy next to him. 

He knew how it felt to be left behind.

He remembered bits of his previous relationship and they still stung, but they hurt a little bit less now. Regardless of what happened between him and Hyunjin, he was glad he had the potential to move on. He wasnt stuck in a loop while everybody continued on around him, he was pulled out of that by his friends and by Hyunjin.

That kiss had opened so many doors in his mind, doors he thought had been boarded up and nailed shut. But Hyunjin came in with a sledgehammer and broke them down. He wasnt sure what was going to happen with them. But right now he couldnt concentrate on that. The time was starting to catch up with him and he guessed it was around 4:30 when he finally closed his eyes for the last time that night.

⚖

For the first few moments when Jisung woke up, he didnt know where he was. He cracked open his eyes and took in the room around him. With every breath the scent of mint and fresh laundry invade his senses. He felt the heartbeat under his ear and relaxed slightly.

Something felt different and he couldnt place it until he realised he had a dreamless sleep last night. 

For the first time in years, he didnt wake up shivering and hyperventilating.

He hadn't had a nightmare.

He became aware of the body under him and he looked up as best as he could, trying to see Minhos peaceful sleeping face. He could only see his neck from where he was laying his head on his chest. He spotted a purple mark peeking out from under the olders tshirt and the events of last night flashed behind his eyes.

The memories made him let out a giggle like he was a high school girl who just kissed her crush, well then again he did kiss his crush, and more.

"What're you laughing at?"

He immediately stopped when he heard the sleep rough voice of the person hugging him. He felt his cheeks flush already.

"Uh, nothing." He said, unable to stop the laugh that came out at the end of the sentence.

"Do you want me to _give_ you something to laugh about?"

Jisung was confused for a moment but he didnt have time to figure out what Minho meant because the older had flipped them over in an instant. 

Jisung looked up at Minho with surprised eyes for a second before and evil grain broke out on the olders face and suddenly Jisung felt fingers tickling his side.

"S-stop!" He said as best as he could between his laughs. 

He tried to defend himself from the relentless tickle attack but it was no use. 

"Minho!" I cant- I cant breathe." He wheezed out as his cheeks had begun hurting from his massive grin. 

"Fine, fine." Minho said as he stopped and straightened his back up, his legs folded on either side of Jisungs hips, a swapped reflection of their positions the previous night. "Only because I want you alive."

Jisung rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah sure." He snorted out.

Minho just looked down at him with what Jisung could only describe as pure happiness in a smile. Then without warning he saw something change in Minhos eyes and for some reason the smile was fading. Minho cleared his throat as he got off Jisung and stood on the floor, making to go to the kitchen. 

"Minho what-" Jisung called out. "What's wrong?"

Surprisingly the older actually stopped and turned to face back to him. His gaze was on the ground but he slowly lifted it to meet Jisungs eyes. His stare was steady, and his posture was sure, but Jisung could tell he was nervous, about what? He didnt know.

"If I tell you... you're probably going to leave." 

Jisungs heart sunk with the tone of voice. He could see the fear of being vulnerable reflecting off the older. He didnt want this chance to go to waste and he didnt want Minho to feel awkward so he patted the space on the bed next to him and looked at Minho expectantly.

The older hesitated at first, unsure of what Jisung was asking him but he ended up sitting on the soft mattress, crossing his legs.

Jisung layed his head down on his thighs and looked up at him.

"Talk to me. What happened." 

Minho took a deep breath before looking up to the room. 

"Jisung this... us... it scares me. A lot."

His hands found their way to the youngers hair.

"I havent really had any good memories associated with uh, liking boys."

He swallowed thickly.

"But I really like you. And if you want, I want to try this, us. But it wont be easy for you, or for me. We wont be able to tell our friends for a while, I'm not ready for that."

Jisung observed the way he chewed the inside of his cheeks when he was nervous. Cute.

"And there might be times where I just dont talk to anyone for days. Times like that you would need to reach out to me and drag me out. And I just, cant ask that of you, it would be too much." He said with a tired tone lacing his voice.

"So what?" Jisung stated.

Minhos eyebrows raised at that and he looked down at the younger boy.

"So what if it's hard. That's what relationships are. They're hard, they hurt, they take some work. But it's worth it."

He took Minhos hand from his hair and intertwined it in his own.

"I like you Minho, I really like you. And I want to be with you. Like, a lot."

A sad smile crossed Minhos face as he looked down at the boy in his lap.

"I like you too, a lot." He replied quietly.

"And I'm prepared to help you in any way. I know you would do the same for me." 

He brought Minhos knuckles up to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on them.

"So is that it. Are we like, together now." Jisung said as a bright smile broke out on his face. 

Minho let out a chuckle and nodded his head, looking around the room.

"I guess so."

There was a pleasant silence for a few moments as they both let all the emotions settle.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your thighs."

Minho snorted at that and shoved the younger off his lap as they both broke out into laughter.

"That's awfully forward of you." Minhos tone dripping with sarcasm. 

Jisung got up, leaned forward and stopped just short of the olders lips. 

"Well you gotta deal with it now, cuz I'm your boyfriend." He said before pressing a quick kiss onto the soft lips in front of him.

He promptly hopped off the bed and walked towards the kitchen, leaving Minho to shoot a glare at the back of his head.

"Now make me breakfast, you beautiful man." He called without looking back.

Minho watched him go for a moment, his heart filling with warmth. There was this feeling of safeness that was always floating around whenever he was with the younger. However it was clouding his brain at this moment. He couldnt think of anything except how calm he felt right now. 

He wanted it to last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did u expect Chan and Hyunjin?? Their relationship is gonna be weird for a while. Sorry.
> 
> Also minsung finally got together!!!! Yay!! Minsung couple. Also Minho was positively shitting himself when he was tell Jisung that, hes just really good at playing it cool.


	18. A Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapters a bit short. I had the minsung scene from the previous chapter in this one at the start but I decided to change it idk why.
> 
> Also I've decided to change the update time to every 4 days bcuz I have other projects I have going on rn sorry :(
> 
> Have fun reading :>

Hyunjin woke up to an empty bed. He wasnt that surprised, until his hungover brain remembered what happened last night.

He had called Chan sobbing, and then had a mental breakdown in front of him and then...

He _kissed_ him.

And Chan didnt kiss him back.

He shot up with wide eyes before cringing at the fast movement and the light.

"Oh you're awake." 

He saw Chan standing in the doorway of his bedroom, he had a mug in his hand and a small smile on his face.

"I know you dont like food when your hungover so I uh, I made you coffee." He said raising the mug.

"Oh... thanks." Hyunjin said with a sheepish smile as Chan walked over and handed him the cup.

There was a heavy awkward silence as he sipped the warm, bitter drink. They both just kind of sat there, thinking. Hyunjin had a million things he wanted to say but he just couldnt find the right words.

He saw Chan open his mouth to speak when there was a sudden knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" Hyunjin said a bit too loud. 

He hoped it wasnt too obvious with the way he practically ran to the door.

He opened the door quickly, thankful for whoever this saviour was, until he saw the mysterious person.

The smile he wore froze but his eyes widened slightly.

"Oh. Jisung." 

The younger avoided his gaze slightly, fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweat shirt.

He looked up but before the younger could say anything Jisung looked behind him and his expression turned into a confused one. Hyunjin glanced back and remembered Chan. He saw the way Chans hair was messy from sleep, the fact that he was in shorts you couldnt see from under his oversized t shirt, and the fact he was a little bit out of breathe from running to the door.

"Am I... interrupting something?" Jisung asked with an awkward smile, looking between the two.

"N-no! This is not- we're not- no." Hyunjin stuttered out.

"I was just leaving anyway." Chan said with a warm smile, as if there wasn't any tension between the three of them. 

He walked past the two younger boys in the doorway and hesitated slightly.

"Uh Hyunjin, we uh-" he cleared his throat. "We can talk later." 

Hyunjin tried his best to form his mouth into a smile.

"Yeap." He let out an awkward laugh.

Chan pursed his lips slightly and turned down the hallway. 

Hyunjin let out a breath and somehow relief and nervousness washed over him at the same time. His thoughts swam with so many possibilities. Did he fuck up his friendship with Chan? Did he make the older uncomfortable? How were they going to talk about this?

"What the fuck was that about." Jisung stated flatly.

Hyunjin jumped slightly, he had totally forgot about the younger.

"Nothing. Literally nothing. It's _so_ not important." He said slightly exasperated. 

"Okayyyyy." Jisung looked at him curiously before shaking his head slightly.

"Listen I came here because i wanted to talk about what happened the other night." Jisung said avoiding his gaze once again.

An image of a flushed Jisung on Minhos lap illuminated by streetlights flashed through Hyunjins mind.

"Wh-what? I... what?" Hyunjin said, his heartbeat picking up.

"I'm taking about the fight we had, at the party?" Jisung said looking at Hyunjin with a concerned expression. "Are you okay hyung? You look a bit pale."

Hyunjin let out a forced high pitch laugh at that. 

"What are you talking about? I'm fine." He said before turning and walking back into his living room leaving the door open as an invitation for Jisung to come in. While his back was turned walking over to the couch he took a deep breath and wiped his sweaty hands on his shirt.

"So the fight. Yeah, that. Let's talk about that." He said a bit too enthusiastically.

Jisung furrowed his eyebrows slightly and sat down across from him. Hyunjin saw him mess with the sleeves of his sweat shirt again. Now that he thought about it, he had never seen Jisung wear that hoodie. As a realization dawned on him his heart sunk and he felt an urge to spill everything wash over him. He was never good at lying.

"It was because of Minho." He blurted out before Jisung had the chance to ask.

"I got mad because, I liked Minho." He said more slowly this time, locking his eyes with Jisungs.

⚖

"You _what?_ "

Jisung couldnt really think straight right now. He was caught off guard completely. Out of everything he thought would happen this morning, Hyunjin confessing a crush on his boyfriend was not one of them.

"I have a crush on Minho." Hyunjin sighed out, almost as if he was disappointed in himself for that. "Or well, I did, I think. I dont know, I'm so confused Sung."

He lowered his head into his hands and started rubbing his temples with his eyes closed.

"To be honest my emotions and feelings are everywhere right now."

Despite everything Jisung felt a pang of empathy for his friend.

"I'm really sorry you know." Hyunjin mumbled out. "I didnt mean to snap at you that day, it's just, everything was going wrong and I was drunk and I took that out on you."

He looked up and met Jisungs stare.

"And I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry."

"U-um. Its okay. I get it." Jisung said in a small voice, his brain still lagging from the information that Hyunjin liked Minho. "But um, Hyunjin I need to tell you someth-"

"I know, you and Minho are together now, or at least a thing." Hyunjin said in a defeated tone.

Jisung said there with his mouth in a small o shape, shocked at how Hyunjin knew. Minho specifically said not to tell their friends. He could feel the panic bubbling.

"I gave him that sweatshirt for Christmas 2 years ago." Hyunjin gestured to the jumper Jisung was snuggled in.

Jisung blinked.

"Oh."

Hyunjin looked at him with an unreadable expression for a second before he gave a sad smile.

"Its okay Sung. I wont try anything stupid. I'll deal with it myself."

Jisung pursed his lips and his heart felt like breaking. He hated seeing his friend like this. He had been upset about the fight in general and the fact he hadn't spoken to one of his closest friends in days, adding on the hurt he heard in Hyunjins voice, he just couldnt take it. 

He got up quickly and crossed the coffee table to Hyunjins side. Before the older could ask what was happening Jisung was wrapping him in a tight hug. He felt Hyunjin freeze for a moment before reciprocating the hug and hugging him just as tight. 

They stayed like that for a few second before Jisung burst out laughing against Hyunjins chest.

"Doesn't this remind you of when we would fight in high school?" He asked.

"Oh my god yeah." Hyunjin chuckled out.

"I think I almost punched you a good few times." 

"Yeah I remember Chan had to hold you back." Hyunjin said with a nostalgic smile.

Jisung broke the hug at that and looked at the older with a serious expression.

"Oh yeah what the _fuck_ is up with that?" He asked.

Hyunjins eyes widened a fraction and his mouth parted slightly.

"Oh... my... god..." he whispered out. "I totally forgot about that!"

Jisung laughed again at that.

"Seriously dude what's the deal there. Are you guys fucking or something?"

Hyunjin let out a choked cough at that.

" _Whatthefucknowerejustfriendswhywouldyousaythatwhatthefuckjisung??!?_ " He sputtered out as he grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it at the youngers face.

Jisung just let it happen and then preceded to laugh about how red Hyunjin was turning.

"Okay fine! We kissed last night. Or well, I kissed him, and he didnt respond and then put me to bed." 

Jisungs expression had changed in a split second to one of utter confusion.

"He put you to bed???"

Hyunjin let out a dramatic sigh.

"I was really drunk and I had just seen... something that wasnt pleasant." he didnt think this was an appropriate time to mention to his friend he had accidently saw him making out with his boyfriend.

"And I was crying and shit, and I remembered he said I could always talk to him, so I called him over. Anyway I basically ended up having a complete meltdown in front of him and he- he was being so, gentle." 

Jisung watched him make all these wild gestures, completely enthralled in this story.

"And I dont know I got confused and kissed him. It wasnt like an intense makeout session or anything, it was just a quick kiss. Anyway he didnt really kiss me back he just, stood there."

Jisung cocked his head curiously.

"Then he said I needed to sleep and then we cuddled and when I woke up he made me coffee and it was so fucking _awkward_ Jisung." Hyunjin finished.

Jisung processed this for a moment before speaking.

"And have you talked about any of this with him?"

Hyunjin suddenly looked anywhere but Jisung and cleared his throat.

"Not exactly..."

"Hyunjin. You're so dumb." Jisung deadpanned.

Hyunjin threw his head back and flopped back against the back of the couch.

"I know! But like! What would we even talk about!? I dont even know if I _like_ him. It might have just been the fact i was drunk and lonely and he was the first person to actually take care of me."

Jisung pouted slightly as he thought hard.

"Hmm. I still think you should talk."

"Yeah, yeah I know. We'll talk." Hyunjin said waving the notion away with his hand

Jisung rolled his eyes and flopped back as well, resting his head on the olders shoulders.

"I really missed you loser."

Hyunjin smiled softly at that.

"I missed you too, loser."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love a good hyunsung rivalry but that's being saved for another fic. Rn we just have a small fight and then they make up. 
> 
> Also it is now e x t r e m e l y awkward between Chan and Hyunjin...


	19. A Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I know I said 4 days but a lot of personal stuff happened and I needed a small break. I dont think theres going to be a proper posting schedule right now but the waits in between shouldn't be too long. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter contains a lil bit of ~spice~ so theres that. 
> 
> Okay. I love u all, have fun <\

Jisung walked next to Minho in the cool air, resisting the urge to reach for his hand. It had been about a week since they had started dating. Jisung was over at the olders apartment any chance he got and they were somewhere between the awkward phase and the honeymoon phase. Even though it was only a few days he had spent all his free time practically glued to Minho. What can he say? Hes a sucker for physical affection.

And now he was in a predicament. They were on their way to a restaurant to eat out with their friends for once, but because there was chance they could run into one of them on the way they decided not to act like anything more than friends. As Minho was going on about an exciting competition Jisung couldnt help but be distracted by staring at the concealed hand of his boyfriend stuffed into his pocket. 

Minho, as it turns out, was quite the talker when given a chance and he didnt notice Jisungs unusual absence of energy until a few minutes in.

"What's wrong baby? You're being really quiet."

Jisung pulled his stare away from his boyfriends hands and onto the sidewalk in front of them, illuminated by the many streetlights and neon shop signs. He let out a small huff before answering.

"I wanna hold your hand." He muttered from behind his scarf, his breath meeting the cold air in foggy clouds. 

"Is that it? I thought it was something serious." The older boy chuckled out as they continued walking.

Jisung just pouted and looked down at his feet meeting the pavement. Minhos eyes crinkled as a fond smile spread across his face. 

He stopped walking abruptly, shortly followed by Jisung in confusion. The dark haired boy quickly scanned their surroundings before grabbing the younger boys wrist and pulling him into a dark alleyway, hidden beside a Chinese takeaway. 

Jisung looked up at Minho with wide eyes as the other leaned his arm against the wall near the youngers head before placing a quick kiss on his lips. Minho pulled his other hand from his pocket to hold Jisungs hand gently, the olders noticeably warmer.

"Now we can hold hands." He said quietly with a cute smile.

Jisungs confused expression morphed into first a fond smile, and then a wide grin before eventually erupting into laughter. 

"Oh my god Min, that's so corny." He said when he regained his composure. "I thought you were gonna pin me against a wall or something."

"Do you want me to do that?" Minho asked with a sarcastic tone, though there was a slight dark tint to his eyes that suggest he wssnt completely joking.

Jisungs residual laughter stopped as his cheeks immediately flushed pink and the tips of his ears turned red. 

He pushed Minho away and left the alleyway, sputtering out excuses on how "they were gonna be late" and "their friends were probably waiting for them". Minho just took a few strides to catch up, a satisfied grin on his face. 

⚖

Hyunjin stood outside the restaurant, the air nipping at the exposed skin on his face, he knew his nose was definetly red and his cheeks were probably blotchy. 

He hated the cold.

He rubbed his hands together and blew on them a bit to hopefully make them less numb. Just as he was starting to resent Jeongin and Seungmin for inviting him to this thing, he spotted a familiar figure approaching, somehow still looking attractive in this biting cold and the unflattering streetlights.

"Hey." Chan said awkwardly shooting a nod to Hyunjin once he was in earshot. 

"Hi." Hyunjin muttered out before turning his attention back to his freezing hands.

It had been 6 days since he had kissed Chan. 

6 days since he said they would talk.

6 days since they hadn't.

As Hyunjin swayed slightly on the heels of his shoes he glanced up at the older, who was staring straight ahead at the opposite sidewalk. The silence that was once welcomed quickly became suffocating. Hyunjin internally decided that he had to say something before he burst. It seemed Chan had the same idea.

"So-"

"Listen-"

They both stopped their sentences when they heard the other. 

"You-"

"I-"

Again, waiting for the other.

"You go first." Chan blurted out.

"No sorry I interrupted you first." Hyunjin replied.

"Hyunjin," Chan said, his tone more firm. "Just say what you want to say." 

Hyunjin swallowed thickly before complying sheepishly.

"Fine, okay."

He cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to get the right words.

"What happened the other night when we-... when I kissed you." He avoided Chans gaze, opting to look anywhere but the olders face, his shoes, a puddle, a streetlight, anywhere. "I-I was drunk and uh, I didnt mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I guess I was just confused, I had just found out stuff that I _really_ didnt want to know."

His voice had become slightly more confident as he rambled on.

"And frankly I'm really confused on my feelings right now, with like, everything. I mean yeah I think you're attractive, who doesnt? But like, I don't know if I want anything right now. I'm just really confused. And again, I didnt mean to make you uncomfortable... I'm sorry."

He finally met Chans eyes on the last word. His heart was beating against his ribs and his palms were too sweaty for this cold night air.

"Hyunjin, I wasnt uncomfortable." Chan said plainly, a slight pink dusting on his cheeks despite his sure stare. 

"B-but you didnt respond when I uh, did it?" The youngers asked, confusion flooding his brain.

Chan glanced away for a second before answering, his cheeks definitely rosy under the yellow light of the lamppost. 

"Like you said, you were drunk. I didn't want to take advantage of you or anything." 

Hyunjin lips parted in realization.

"Oh." He said quietly as the guilt in his veins lessening.

"In fact," Chan said taking a step closer to the younger boy, "I think I'd like to do it again, this time sober." 

Time seemed to slow down around the younger boy for a moment as he took this information in. He didn't know exactly how he felt or what type of relationship he wanted with the other, but he knew he wanted to feel those lips on his again. He wanted to taste them without the bitterness of alcohol and the saltiness of tears.

As his thoughts stuttered and he struggled to string words together in a reply, they heard a distant voice. 

"Yo dudes!" Changbin shouted from down the street walking hand in hand with Felix who had an embarrassed but accepting smile on his face as passersby looked at the loud boy in disdain. 

Hyunjin toom a step back from Chan and slipped into his usual collected persona. Underneath his mind was reeling from the quick conversation, but outwardly, he looked the same as ever.

Chan hadn't moved from his position, still staring at Hyunjin with an unreadable expression. It was only when Hyunjin shot him a small glance did he seem to snap out of it and turn to their approaching friends with as best of a smile he could muster.

⚖

Minho and Jisung entered the restaurant and quickly scanned the room for the table of their friends. Minho spotted them and Jisung followed his direction while looking around the big room. It was fancy.

Like, _really_ fancy.

Whatever Jeongin and Seungmin had invited them out for better be good because this place looked pretty expensive. Suddenly, Jisung felt self conscious and had to resist the urge to cling to Minho in this strange environment. Instead he kept his cool and made his way over to the table.

"Hey guys!" Jeongin said brightly from beside Seungmin.

The table was circular, but enough to fit the eight people. There were two empty seats between Hyunjin and Chan. As the two newcomers took their place Jisung noticed the new couple of Changlix had lessened on the PDA, though still very affectionate with Felix resting his head on Changbins shoulder from the other side of Seungmin. 

"Hey, what took you guys so long?" Hyunjin asked from beside Jeongin while Jisung and Minho were shedding their coats and scarves. 

"We got lost along the way." Minho said without skipping a beat.

Jisung was both in awe and a little terrified of Minhos ability to come up with a lie easily. His willed his cheeks not to heat up at the remembrance of Minhos mouth on his in another empty alleyway they had found.

"Okay so now that were all finally here can we order?" Felix asked in a whiny voice. "I'm so hungry."

Seungmin rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Yeah you can order."

As everyone picked up the menus and started discussing the different choices, Hyunjin leaned a bit closer to Jisung and spoke slowly so the others couldn't hear.

"You _got lost,_ huh?"

Jisungs heart sped up slightly and he lost focus of the menu, trying to think of an excuse. God why couldnt his brain just work for once.

"Hey dont panic, your secrets safe with me." Hyunjin slightly chuckled out.

The edge softened slightly on Jisungs nerves and he let out a small breath.

"Who else knows?"

Jisung glanced over the Minho who was happily discussing the steak with Chan.

"Well I told Chan I liked Minho before all this happened, but he doesnt know we're actually together." He said back as quietly as he could before returning his eyes to the menu. "So apart from you, no one knows."

He suddenly realised how much power Hyunjin had in this situation. The irrational fear of betrayal popped into his mind but he tried to drown it with the knowledge of his friends trust. 

The waiter chose that moment to appear and take their orders. As one by one they ordered and it neared his turn, the panic in Jisungs veins was heightening slightly. With the thoughts of Hyunjin still fogging his brain, the usual slight stress of placing his order had turned into anxiety eating at him. 

He didnt even notice he was bouncing his leg until he felt the warmth of Minhos palm resting on his knee discretely from under the table. Jisung immediately tried grounding himself on the circles the older was tracing with his thumb. 

"And what can I get you?" The waiter asked with a smile.

"Uh, I'll have the fish risotto please." Jisung asked timidly.

The waiter gave him a smile and wrote down the information as the orange-blonde let out a small sigh of relief. He never usually got that nervous anymore with waiters but the thing with Hyunjin had just set him on edge. Despite this he was grateful Minho was there to quietly bring him back to earth. 

After they had all placed their orders the familiar hum of chatter returned shortly before being caught off by Seungmin and Jeongin standing up abruptly. All eyes at the table turned to them in curiosity as Seungmin looked to the younger before taking a deep breathe.

"We have something to tell you."

"No shit." Changbin snorted before taking a sip of his drink.

Seungmin shot him a glare before continuing. 

"I dont really know any other way to say this but uh-"

"We're engaged!" Jeongin yelled while excitedly displaying his left hand, a shiny silver band around the ring finger.

There was a silence as 6 jaws dropped and 6 pairs of eyes stared at the ring. 

Then all at once chaos exploded.

Jisung stood up abruptly and ran to bear hug them both. Felix also got up and went to embrace them, less aggressively. Chan just looked at them with the biggest, proudest grin on his face. Hyunjin spilled words of congratulations while Changbin just erupted into cheers. 

Minho looked at all of this happening and while the feeling of out of placeness was still present it was slightly less than the party. Seungmin had taken the time to ask him out to this special dinner, that must count for something right? A fond smile settled on his face.

⚖

After everyone had calmed down, the food had arrived shortly after. While they tucked in the newly engaged couple were bombarded by questions, mostly by Jisung and Felix. Jisung had completely forgot about his previous worries and he was feeling well fed and slightly tipsy, Seungmin had insisted he would be paying so Jisung used this opportunity to order a bit of the bubbles, which of course went to his head. He wasnt completely drunk, but just enough to have a pleasant buzz. He was so content in this moment, his friends surrounding him, he felt so nice. 

He was completely engrossed in the story of how this engagement had happened when he felt the weight of Minhos hand return to his knee. He tilted his head up to face the older and when they met eyes he gave the older a bright smile. Minho gave a smile back but his eyes were slightly hooded, it seemed he had drunken his fair share of champagne as well. 

Jisung returned his attention to the story when he felt olders hand shift and move up, slightly squeezing as he did so. Jisung didnt know if Minho was aware of how this was affecting him, so he just tried his best to concentrate on Seungmins words.

Again Minhos hand moved up slightly, now on his thigh, before squeezing slightly and pausing there a while. He then moved his hand further up, reaching just under his upper thigh. The proximity made Jisung slightly squirm, his heart rate picking up. He could feel the tips of his ears go red, he really hoped whatever was happening in Seungmins story was enough to distract the rest from his odd behaviour. 

"Jisung are you okay?" Changbin asked loudly. 

Suddenly all eyes were on Jisung, who's cheeks were turning pink from the attention, and from the fact that Minhos hand had no sign of stopping, now tracing his inner thigh. 

"Yeah you look a bit warm, are you okay?" Minho piped up innocently as he squeezed Jisung thigh slightly tighter. 

The action made Jisung clench his jaw in an effort to not show a reaction. He glanced at the older but his death glare died when he saw the dark look in the olders eyes. It took everything in him to not just give in right there as heat pooled in his stomach.

"Yeah I'm f-" 

Minhos hand had brushed dangerously close to his crotch and out of instinct he stood up and hit his knee against the table.

"Yeah I'm _fine!_ " He said a bit to loud as he put on a smile that barely covered the pain. 

"I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed, I'm gonna, uh- go to the bathroom." He decided before rushing to get out of the tangles of chairs.

⚖

Minho watched his boyfriends back retreat to the bathroom and he suddenly felt guilt settle over him. Did he misread the signals completely. Maybe Jisung really didnt like that. As panic rushed from his heart he stood up as well. 

"I'm gonna go check and make sure hes okay." He said with a soft smile.

Everyone took that normally and went back to their conversation as Minho pulled back his chair. He felt one pair of eyes linger on him slightly and glanced in the direction. Hyunjin didnt say anything, he just shot him a slight smirk and went back to his food. Minho decided he would worry about that later as he just needed to know if Jisung was okay right now.

He swung the door to the bathroom open and closed behind him and he saw his boyfriend leaning over the sink, eyes closed. 

"Jisung I'm so sorry i should have-"

He got cut off by the younger grabbing his shirt and pulling him into a messy kiss. 

Minho was caught off guard at first but leaned back into it after a second. He broke it for a moment in an attempt at speaking. 

"I should have checked if you were okay with it firs-"

"Oh my god dont apologise I was _so_ okay with it." Jisung said quickly in between kisses. 

He slowly stepped back into a stall, lips barely leaving the others as Minho flowed closely behind.

The older seemed to slightly take control back as he flipped them around so Jisungs back was pressed against the stall door. Even though no one could get in because Jisung was blocking it, Minho fumbled and locked the door just in case. 

Their position was a messier reflection of their earlier moment in the alleyway. This time needier and rough. There was hands everywhere and soft sounds filling the air. Everything was more desperate.

Minho wrapped his hands around the younger boys small waist and pulled him closer. He gently bit the bottom lips between his teeth and slightly tugged, earning a soft whine from Jisung. The sound just spurring him on more, he wanted more, Jisung always made him so selfish. 

He broke the clash of tounges to kiss his jaw and down his neck. He couldnt get far though because the sound of the bathroom door opening made them both freeze. 

Minho watched as the younger boy looked at him with wide eyes when they heard the soft footsteps going toward the sink and stop. 

As the sink ran Minho took in Jisungs expression. His cheeks had gone significantly more flushed and his bottom lip was between his teeth. The thing that peaked Minhos interest was the fact that his gaze hadn't faltered, he still looked at the older with intense want, maybe even more than before. An idea popped into Minhos head. 

He leaned in close to the youngers ear and whispered low enough so only he could hear. 

"Can you stay quiet for me?"

Jisung wore a confused expression from a split second before realization flashed behind his eyes. His breath hitched and his nodded. 

A dark smirk spread across Minhos face as he leaned in again, this time for Jisungs neck. He only sucked slightly, not wanting to make a noise to alert the other person in this dingy bathroom. As he bit slightly into the youngers collarbone the boy and question let out the softest moan, barely audible. But Minho heard it. 

He broke away and stared into Jisungs eyes. He raised his eyebrows slightly in a question as they heard more shuffling around by the person on the other side of the door. 

"I thought you said you could stay quiet?" The whispered words barely audible over the running water.

"I-I can." The orange-blonde said breathlessly. 

"I'm not so sure about that, we might need to take extra precautions."

He lifted his hand to cover Jisungs mouth and the boy seemed to keen into it, his eyes becoming somehow more clouded.

Minho made eye contact with him as he slowly slotted his thigh in the space between the youngers legs. He felt him intake a breathe through his nose. Minho stopped and asked the boy a silent question, Jisung noticed and nodded almost desperately. 

Minho took the permission and shoved his thigh higher. 

The long needed friction seemed to make the younger boy forget himself for a moment as his eyes fluttered closed and he let out an audible moan.

Minho froze in place but Jisung didnt seem to realize anything happened until a voice spoke up.

"Jisung?" Seungmin asked from the other side of the door. 

Minho and Jisungs eyes widened in panic as they realised what the fuck just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom. 
> 
> Cliffhanger
> 
> What a surprise.
> 
> Okay so that happened. Yay!!! Jeongin and Seungmin are engaged!! I know it isnt really talked about that much in this chapter but I promise they're will be more soon !! Also this is like,,, the spiciest thing I've written so sorry if it's bad or smthg oh well.
> 
> Hope u liked it <3\\\


	20. A New Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapters kind of short :(

Seungmin waited for a reply as he was frozen in drying his hands on a towel. There was no answer for a few moments. He knew there was someone in the stall, he had heard movement when he walked in, but he swore he heard Jisung as well.

Just as he was about to dismiss it he heard shuffling from the stall and saw shadows moving.

"Yeah?" He heard his friend say timidly.

Seungmin continued with drying his hands and spoke up again.

"You okay? You seemed pretty shaken at the table."

There was another pause before Jisung cleared his throat. 

"Yeah I'm fine dont worry."

There was more shuffling around and Seungmin could vaguely make out two pairs of feet from the gap between the door and the floor.

He leaned back against the sink directly in front of the stall, and a few things started clicking in his brain.

"Where's Minho? Didnt he go to check up on you?"

The movement behind the stall stilled. 

"Jisung?" 

"Mhm." 

"Please dont tell me you're fucking Minho in the bathroom of a restaurant at my engagement party."

He heard Jisung choke slightly and the lock of the stall frantically slide open. The door burst open to a red faced Jisung and Minho trying to hold in his laugh, and failing. 

"W-We werent- what are you- No! Oh my god no!" Jisung sputtered out. 

Seungmin narrowed his eyes at the pair in front of him, silently questioning.

"Seungmin I swear. We werent doing anything." Jisung said frantically.

"Well, I mean..." Minho mumbled from behind him.

"Minho! Not helping!" The orange blonde hissed.

"Listen." Seungmin spoke up. "Can you please just explain what _this_ ," he gestured to the two, "is?" 

He saw Minho slightly tense up at this and Jisung swallowed. There was a silence before the younger grabbed Minhos hand.

"We're dating." He said surely. 

Minho looked to their intertwined hands and then up at his boyfriend, his stony expression softening to a smile.

Seungmin looked between his two friends for a few seconds. They both stood a bit straighter as if they were being evaluated. He saw Jisung slightly squeeze the olders hand in reassurance.

Seungmin huffed before speaking.

"Fine, just please keep it in your pants for what's left of this dinner."

He spotted Jisungs cheeks start to turn pink before he turned and walked out of the bathroom. As he left he couldnt help the smile that spread across his face.

Those two idiots were cute together. 

⚖

As Jisung watched the door swing closed behind their friend he let out a breathe he didnt realize he was holding. 

"Well that could have gone worse." He said optimistically.

Instead of a response like he was expecting Minho just let go of his hand and put his face in his own hands. A slight feeling of hurt struck his heart at the sudden loss of contact before he pushed it away.

"What's wrong?" He asked in confusion.

Minho didnt answer for a moment before he dropped his hands from his face and sighed.

"Do you think hes going to tell anyone?" He asked quietly.

Jisung thought for a split second before answering.

"No dont worry, he's not the type to spread gossip." He said assuredly.

Minho didnt answer he just nodded slightly and stared distantly at the sink.

"Do you wanna go back out now? We can stay here for a while if you need to." Jisung offered with concern lacing his voice.

"No it's okay, you can go in first. It'll look strange if we both walk out at the same time." He said looking back at the younger.

The hurt in Jisungs heart dug in a bit deeper but again he tried to push it aside for now. 

He reached up and lightly pecked the others cheek.

"I'll be right outside." He said with a kind smile.

Minho gave him a slight nod and a small smile in return.

Jisung took in a breathe and hesitated slightly before turning and walking out into the busy main room. He didnt know why but he felt disappointed for some reason. Dissapointed in Minhos reaction. Dissapointed in himself for not being able to do more. Dissapointed in the night he had so many expectations for. For some reason he had got it into his head that this was like their first kind of date. 

He shook his head to attempt to get rid of these worries weighing him down and went to join his friends. 

⚖

Minho waited about 5 minutes after Jisung had left the bathroom before making up his mind. Since Seungmin had left them he was torn between facing his friends or just leaving. He knew that Seungmin would likely not say anything and that even if he did, it's not like his friends would shun him or anything. But everytime he thought of facing them he started sweating and his heart started racing. 

He made up his mind and gently pushed the door opened a crack. He peeked out and saw that Jisung was distracted with something that Jeongin was saying, the others as well. He used this opportunity to leave the bathroom and quickly make his way over to the exit. As he stepped outside he let out a breath that immediately fogged in the freezing night air.

He knew it was stupid to walk in this cold but he couldnt get a taxi because his wallet was in his jacket which was currently next to his boyfriend. 

As he set off in the direction of his apartment he wrapped his arms around himself in a silly attempt to conserve his body heat. 

He thought about Jisung and a pit of guilt started growing in his stomach. He felt so bad about leaving him there but he couldnt face his friends right now. He didnt want to face anyone. 

The fear of them finding out still lingered and memories of his brother and his friends flashed in his mind. All the comments they would make about people they passed on the street, about that one girl in their school, about whatever singer had decided to risk their career with being themselves. 

There was so many conflicting emotions in his head but he got pulled out of them when he bumped into something in front of him.

"Oh come on!" The thing said before turning around. 

Minho looked at the persons face through teary eyes. He hadn't even noticed he started crying but now he could feel the tears drying in the biting cold on his cheeks. 

There was familiarity in the persons face before they spoke up again.

"Hey wait, you're the guy from the party." Mark said.

Minho hadn't recognized him lit up by neon signs and streetlights around him but now he registered the not-so-strangers face.

Mark took in his appearance and his brows furrowed.

"Are you okay dude?" He asked.

"I'm f-" Minho said going to wipe his tears but are that moment a gust of wind blew past them and a shiver cracked through his body. He hissed through his teeth and rubbed his arms trying to get some form of heat back in them.

"Okay you're obviously not okay. Let's get you inside, I'll buy you some ramen or something." Mark said, leading him inside the convenience store they were standing in front of. 

Minho didnt argue at this point and he just let himself be pulled out of the cold. As Mark sat him down on a stool by a window he let the warmth roll over him. His new friend went to get some instant noodles and he took in a deep breath. He rubbed his eyes with his palms trying to get rid of the evidence that he had let his emotions get to him. 

He wasnt shivering anymore when Mark returned with their food. As he placed one in front of Minho he spoke up.

"So what happened? Why were you walking around Seoul in January with no jacket?"

Minho silently thanked the fact he hadn't brought up his tears. 

"Its a long story." Minho replied poking at his noodles with his chopsticks, letting the steam hit his face.

"I have time." Mark said bluntly before taking a mouthful of his own noodles. 

Minho sighed. He might as well talk about it. It's not like he's going to see him again after this.

"Okay fine." He started.

"So you know the the friend I was talking about last time? The one who liked this guy?" 

Mark hummed through another bite of noodles. 

"Well that was me. The friend was me." 

"What a surprise." Mark said muffled through his food.

"Shut up and eat." Minho replied with narrow eyes. 

Mark chuckled slightly as Minho continued.

"Anyway. So me and that guy actually ended up dating. The problem is I'm not ready for our friends to know yet, I mean, I've only recently come to terms with myself that I'm gay." He said before taking a breath, his heart heavy at the last sentence.

"Our friend caught us and I'm terrified he's going to tell everyone. My boyfriend told me that it's nothing to worry about that the friend is trustworthy but still I'm just..." 

He trailed off, his nerves starting to consume him again.

"I just couldnt face them again right now so I left the restaurant without anyone knowing. I'm so... scared."

He let himself breathe for a few seconds.

"So what are you going to do now?" Mark asked quietly. 

Minho sighed once again before pushing the ramen away from him slightly. He didnt have an appetite right now. 

"Knowing me I'll probably shut everyone out. I just cant face any of my friends right now. What if they know..."

He felt his chest well up and he cleared his throat and shifted in an attempt to not start crying.

"Would it really be a bad thing if they knew? I mean, I wouldnt want to be around people who dont respect me. If they dont like it you can always hang out with me and my friends." Mark offered with a smile.

Minho gave him a sad smile. 

"Thanks I guess." He stated before looking around the store properly, he spotted a clock and guilt piled on over not practicing right now. 

"Sorry for bothering you tonight by the way." 

"Oh honestly it's no problem, I needed to come here anyway. When you bumped into me I spilled my food so I needed to get another one." Mark nodded to the soggy noodles on the pavement. 

Minho looked through the window at them, and again felt worse.

"I need to get home now so I guess I'll see you around." He said awkwardly.

He got up to leave but stopped when he saw Mark getting up as well.

"What? I'm getting you a taxi." Mark said in return to Minhos questioning expression.

"No it's really okay." 

"Hey I'm not letting you walk home in this weather without a jacket." He said firmly.

Minho didnt have any energy left to argue. He honestly just wanted to go home and have a nice hot shower and then sleep. 

He reluctantly followed his friend out onto the pavement and watched him call a nearby cab over.

"You know I still dont know your name." 

Minho looked up at Mark and debated it in his head for a second before giving in.

"Minho, Lee Minho." He offered. 

"Okay Lee Minho, here's money for the cab. Stay safe please." Mark said before nudging him inside the cab.

As the door closed he asked,

"Wait how will I pay you back?" 

Mark shook his head with a smile.

"Dont worry about that. Also," he continued, looking directly at Minhos face, "please dont shut your friends out. You're not alone."

Minho couldnt say anything back before the driver started the car and he watched Mark turn away as he got smaller in the distance.

He sat back against the seat and tried to take in the events of the night. Everything was so overwhelming and he felt the urge to just cry it out. He refused to do that unless alone in the comfort of his own home, so he kept it in until he had paid the taxi driver, punched in the code for his building, went up the stairs and unlocked his apartment.

Only once he was inside did he let the tears fall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope u guys liked it! Also more Mark :D

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave any constructive criticism :)
> 
> Come talk to me on twitter! @/mingucciboi :3


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